HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY, SIS!

well, today is the 24th day in the month of november.. and that means, it's NIK AFIFAH NIK A MAJID'S(a.k.a my sis) birthday!!! woohoo!!! hehehehe.. well, too bad i couldn't celebrate it with her and the whole family because she's now in johore.. hehehehe.. anyway, happy birthday, sis! hope u'll have a gr8 day today.. eventhough sometimes we had some fights that made us bang to the door like crazy, but you are still my sis who i look up to my whole life.. for me, you're the coolest sister anyone could ever have.. many people said it's cool to have a sister than a big brother, because with a sister, it's easier to talk to and stuff.. and yes, that is soo true.. i'm glad i have a great sis like u..!! ngeeee..!!! and even knowing u as the paparazzi of the family, (because u'll start tellling mama about the new hot story that's happening around the family) aadeq n i still talked to u about most of the stuff... hehehehe.. and eventhough u hate when both of us started saying i love u to u, bcos u dun like the sound of it, but, i know u still love us dearly.. awwww... heheheh... neway, hope u'll have a great bb-day today, with ur colleagues in johore.. hahaha.. I LOVE U..!! lol

I'M NOT JEALOUS..urrmmm.. i think

last night i was chatting with my friend on ym.. then, all of a sudden, the story of my ex suddenly appeared.. which ex..?? urmm.. the last ex.. the one who when he first came in to the school thought i had a crush on him, and he didn't talk to me at all, just because of that, until he found out that i liked someone else.. sheeessshh!! and at last, he fell for me, right..?? huh! and yes, this is a true story, because it was so obious because before that he didn't talk to me at all, when he was closed to evryone around me.. and when the story about i liked someone else was told to him, on that same day, he can simply come and sit beside me when the sit's empty.. now, that was funny moment.. now, to make things easier, let's call him..urmm.. PERASAN GUY, or jus PG.. hehhe.. ok, back to the story about my friend, she told me that she saw PG with his current gf walking around in midvalley.. and that was not the first time i heard about that story of him walking around hand-in-hand with that girl (and, oh, fyi, that girl was also my schoolmate, but he had a crush on her for a long time, but after form 5 ended, an our relationship ended only when they got to know themselves better, plus, last time, that girl had a bf =p) TONS of my friends saw him with her, and even my sister had seen them before together.. i didn;t see him on that day when my sis saw him, just because we took separate ways, because she went walking with her cousin.. hehehhe.. and this problem of seeing him around, is not a problem to me at all.. what seems to be my problem is that i knew he would think that i'm still all alone, and i'm still stuck on the memories of us, when i don't even bother about his life at all..!! i mean, hello! we didn't hae any memories at all together, because for a relationship that only lasted for 3 WEEKS, n i broke up with him, was kinda short to even have the chance to gather the memories.. we didn't even had the chance to go out on a proper date.. geeshh.. what bothers me so much was that, we were close as friends before this, and suddenly, evrything's over..?? i mean, we still talk to each other after we broke up, but he kept on talking about how's my life doing..?? and do i have anyone new in my life.. sheeshh.. like that is the most important thing in my life at that moment.. and, now, it's almost a year now since we last talked to each other.. and i know, if.... AND IF, i ever bumped to him one fine day walking with tha girl, i will know exactly what will be playing in his head... cos it's written evrything on his face.. so, now i'm really hoping to not see him at all, because it'll cause me a very crucial heart-ache if i saw his face.. ugghhhh!!

SURPRISE 4 ME..

well, anyone didn't know, i celebrated my 19th birthday last tuesday.. yeay, me!! hahah.. before my birthday, yes, i was feeling very..very..down.. i didn't know why i felt that way, but i felt like i was left all alone in this world, because my friends would be busy with their own lives.. hurmm.. but, that ended on the day of my birthday.. to start with, the night before my birthday.. i was going out to have dinner with reena n rema that night when nini insisted on us going to the curve to watch a movie, and eat there.. i don't mind going there, wel, because, since i felt like no one would be celebrating my birthday, i just agreed to the plan, since, well, if anyone asked me, at least i could say that i watched a movie with my friends.. heheh.. it was 10 pm when we arrived there, and me, reena n rema were so damn hungry, because i was fasting that day, and i didn't have the chance to break fast properly, bcos after my class ended at 7 pm, reena, nini, me, n derryck, went to the track cos we planned to go jogging there.. hehehehe.. so, when we arrived at the curve, it was kinda late, so, most of the shops there were closed, only some other restaurants at THE STREET.. we didn't know where to eat there in the first place, but then, reena suggested we'll go to bubba gump shrimp because she said she went to that place pnce with her mom.. so, ok la, if the food is nice.. hehehe.. so, when we saw that restaurant, i saw that te place was like packing up.. so, i told them we need to go n find some other place.. so, we ended up eating the cakes at starbucks.. what happened to the movie plan u might ask.. hurmm.. nini said she's not sure where's the movie thatre.. if u asked me, i wouldn't know either.. because, eventhough i've been in the curve for a few times, i never tried exploring that place, bcos evrytime i went there, i would only go to the place where i planned to go.. like accompanying my mom do her facial there, or just went there for dinner around the street.. so, wen ended up sitting at starbucks there.. but, it was kind of weird because nini insisted in going to bubba gump, where for me, the place was closing.. but, since she said it's still opened, so, we went back there, and yes, it is open.. and, surprise..surprise.. kim, nisa, bear hana n ikkey were there sitting in the restaurant.. and obviously they were waiting for us there.. and obviously again, i sensed something going on here.. but i just ignore that senses, and enjoyed the food there.. when the clock struck 12 am, martin n nits called me, and made them the first people to wish me on my birthday.. hehehehe.. while i was talking to martin nnits on th ephone, suddenly the waiters at bubba gump was shouting n screaming something, which i was not so sure about.. and at that moment, the line was disconnected, so i hung up the phone, and looked that they were surprising me with some kind of ritual and tradition there in bubba gump, and i had to stand on the chair..!! hahaha.. and they were stomping around and they were saying about it's my birthday today.. and one of my favourite part would be when they were like singing "if u want this birthday cake, u must shake ur booty" or something like that.. hahahahhahaha.. and as i am trying to be a sport, i did shake my booty.. hahahahaahah.. now, that was funny.. embarassing, not really, because i'm soo happy because people do remmbr my birthday.. huhuhu.. and that was one of the best times of the day.. and after eating the cake, we went back to mmu..hihihihi.. and i was soo happy.. hehehe.. ok, the next day, my classes were so packed the whole day, so no time to go and celebrate or anything.. but, reena promised me that all 3 of us go out for dinnere, and of course, i didn't mind.. hehehe.. so, that night, after my class, i was waiting for them to ask me out for the dinner, but until 8.30, they still didn't text me to ajak me out.. and i was soo hungry at that time.. so, i text reena, and asked where were they, because i was soo hungry.. and she tols me that she got some SIFE meeting.. hurmm.. since she had that meeting thing, so it's ok la.. then around 9 pm, then only reena told me that their ready now, and i can go to the parking place first to take my car..
all the way to my car, i was texting li bing, and when i arrived at my car, i received a text from reena, and she said she's just behind my car, and there she was.. and you know what more exciting..?? THE MALACCAN PEEPS WERE HERE..!! their here in cyber, to surprised me.. aaaaaaggggghhhhhhh!!!! omg! that's the best surprise ever.. evry single of them were here, nits, martin, ivan, losh, and other people who were there too were derryck and the other loshini.. that was very exciting.. hahahahah.. so, ivan told us that we'll go out to some mamak stall and grab some dinner there.. hehehe.. so, all together 3 cars went down to subang, while derryck lead us with his car.. and so much for a mamak stall, they brought me to TGI FRIDAY in subang parade.. sheeessshh.. hehehehe.. so, we had dinner there, and another surprise for me was that they gave me a gift.. they gave me an ESPRIT WATCH.. hehehehe.. my god thanks alot guys.. hehehe.. and oh my god, the night didn't ended there.. the tgi crew surprised me when they came around the table and asked me to stand on my chair.. and AGAIN, i had to stand on the chair.. hahahah.. they gave me the ketchup bottle and suddenly asked me to sing a song.. what the hell...??? i never, i repeat NEVER sang in public in my whole entire life.. so, i refused to sing, and i said i prefer dancing.. and they won't let me do it.. sheeessshh.. and i refused to sing.. and at last they asked me to give a 2 minutes speech.. hahahah.. nw that's better.. so, i was babbling on, and at last i got my cake.. and there's another catch.. they asked me to blow the candle when i was standing like 2 feet away from the cake.. how am i suppose to do that.. so, the funny part would be, i was trying to blow the candle, and i tried waving my hand, just in case it'll work.. hahahah.. and at last they put the cake nearer to me.. hihihihihi.. and at last, they sang to me some birthday song, tgif version.. heheheh.. and obviously that was the best day ever in my whole entire life.. haha.. and the best part would be when we got 20% discount because the manager(i think) in tgif was ragu's cousin.. oh, didn't i mentioned, ragu n raghu joined in for the surprise birthday party.. hehehehe.. thanx a lot ya ragu!! hahahah.. ok, not only ragu, i thanked all of them, reena, rema, nits, martin, ivan, the two loshinis, ragu n raghu.. haishh.. u guys are the best la weyh.. oh, not to forget my friends who surprised me earlier, nini, kim, nisa, bear, ikkey n hana.. all of u guys are the best of friends ever.. the sacrifices u made to come down to cyber and around kl jus for the sake of my birthday and making me happy on that special day was the most priceless thing i've ever received from any friends i have. thanx a lot guys..!! i love ya guys a lot.. n owh ya, people who wished me on my birthday via sms, facebook, friendster or myspace - thanx 4 the wishes.. hihihihi.. and for the first time after a few gloomy days for me, at last i was smiling in my sleep.. hihihihi.. and oh ya, a quick one.. besides getting all the gifts and love from my friends, i realised something new in my life.. the hint is butterflies are starting to live again in my stomach.. hahahah..!! next time i'll tell u more about that story, because i need to reassure my situation and the future that might happened... hehehe

SURPRISE, NITS!

last friday, me, reena, rema, n loshini drove down to malacca to have a surprise part for nitasha.. well, since it's called a surprise party, we told nitasha that we couldn't make it to malacca to celebrate her birthday.. i told her that i had some futsal thing on saturday (which is kinda true), n d rest made some very gr8 excuses.. actually, most of the excuses are not made up.. like, i really have futsal thing on saturday, n reena had some family thing on d same day.. so, actually, we couldn't really make it to malacca, bt since, it's for our dearest friend, we eventually work it out, without having to skip the events that we have to attend.. hihihihi.. so, we left for malacca on friday (since the surprise is on friday night, but note that her birthday is on saturday) afternoon n we arrived there around 3.. martin warned us earlier that we should not be seen near ixora or mmu area, bcos there's possibilities that nitasha might see us there, n if she did see us, the surprise will be ruined.. huhuhu.. anyways, when we arrived there, rema went n surprised her bf first at EP, n martin was waiting for us there too.. after that, we went n meet up with ivan n hima n we lepak and eat at the indian restaurant near that area bcos me n reena were soo damn hungry because we didn't eat the whole morning.. haishh.. so, after that, me, reena, ivan n martin went out around malacca.. hima went back home because he said he's not feeling well.. so, we drove around malacca and ivan said that he wanted to get new piercing at his lower lip.. we went to dataran pahlawan and went to TRIBE n he went and get his lip pierced.. at times we were thinking what nitasha did in ixora, becuase martin purposely fought with nitasha n made him sent her back to her place... so, as we were having fun walking around malacca, she was feeling sad in ixora and thinking why her friends didn't bother coming down for her birthday.. hehehehe.. so, after that, around 7, we went back to martin's place, since his place was empty, we sat there n watched madagascar from my laptop, and around 10 we got ready for the night.. we were planning to go out and eat first somewhere that area, after we pick up hima, but unfortunately, we dodn't know what happened we waited for him for 20 minutes, and it was 11.15 already when he showed up.. so, we thought of grabbing something near the surprise place, but then we had to pick up rema n her bf, and we were stuck there again for about 15 minutes, and there goes our dinner... hahaha.. owh ya, did i mentioned how the plan worked..?? well, martin planned and told nitasha earlier that he is taking her to bamboo hut, a restaurant near a'famosa, and they will have dinner there.. at 12 midnight sharp, we would go in the restaurant, and surprised her with the cake, and of course alll of her closest friends.. so, since we were kinda late to meet up outside the restaurant, we didn't get to grab something to eat, we were hungry, but luckily we made it on time before the surprise.. so, when we went in the place, she was obviously very shocked.. she was screaming the whole time, and yeay! the surprise went well, i mean, it went perfectly.. hahahaha.. haishh. how lucky nitsha is, having a great bf planning for her birthday.. he planned this party for more than one month.. he even tried to get her dad to come down n join us for the surprise, but then her dad couldn't make it, for some reasons.. huhhuuh.. man, one lucky girl nitasha is to find a very great bf.. they look so good together , n i couldn't imagine what would happen if something happened between the two of them..huhuhu.. anyway, he had a lot of fun that night but somehow i felt soo lonely.. u see, like i said before this, all of them have someone special in their life, so i was like left alone ther cos obviously they need to spend time with their bfs bcos they didn't always come down to malacca.. so, that night, it was only me n ivan there without THE OTHER HALF.. but i didn't feel so gr8 about it because ivan was not in the mood, bcos he got some probs with his girl, and i was practically left alone.. i was only the driver for the night.. i know at times, reena tried to pull me up to not make me soo left out, but i didn't need anyone sympathy and i didn't want them to feel sorry for me.. i mean, this was thei chance to spend time with their bfs.. it's kinda my own problem about the loneliness thing.. haishh.. and even better, i drove back to kl alone, bcos reena went to her aunt's place, n rema wanted to stay another day there.. so, at some point i broke down in the car and listened to some emo songs in the car.. haishh.. what a life..!! i know i got to stop feeling sorry for myself, and try to have fun with life.. but, gee, i couldn't help it.. huhuhuhuhu.. but, i shouldn't show it in front of them, because i should be happy for them.. i mean, i am happy for them, but then, i couldn't help it but have this naughty thoughts in my head.. ok, enough of that thing... well, after i got back from malacca, i was suppose to go for the futsal thing, but then, i was so tired so i slept the whole entire evening, and i woke up at 7 pm.. hahahaa.. and then, around 10 something i slept again.. my god.. i don't know why i'm so tired that day.. huhuhuhu.. mayb bcos of hte driving and lack of sleep 2 nights in a row.. hihihihihi..
but, it's all worth it, looking at nitasha's surprised face.. =) happy birthday girl!!

LOVE STORY

Love Story
by Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes and the flashbacks start

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air



See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

I see you make your way through the crowd

And say hello

Little did I know



That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

And I was crying on the staircase

Begging you, please don't go

And I said



Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes



So, I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes

Escape this town for a little while

Oh oh



Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

But you were everything to me

I was begging you, please don't go

And I said



Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes



Romeo, save me

They try to tell me how I feel

This love is difficult, but it's real

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes



Oh oh

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever coming around

My faith in you is fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town

And I said



Romeo, save me

I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Is this in my head

I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said



Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad

Go pick out a white dress

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes



Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh



'Cause we were both young when I first saw you






Now, this is like one of the sweetest song i've ever heard.. it's about a girl who's in love with the guy, but their relationship was not agreed by her parents, so they have to do whatever they can to save and to cherish their love.. my favourite part of this song would be "Romeo, save me,
I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you, but you never come".. cos i think it suits me pretty well, as you know, i'm waiting for MY ROMEO to come, but he's still hadn't showed up yet.. so, i'll keep on waiting.. ok,ok.. stop emoing and say all this nonsense.. hehehehe..
well, talking about this song, it's a very wonderful song, and it's a very beautiful song.. i've always love taylor swift, and i am pretty sure this will be another hit from her.. =)

p/s: i didn't post the video clip here, cos feeling lazy to upload it.. lol.. sorry..!! =p

I AM SO FREE!

ok, all this while,if ppl notice, i've been wearing two rings on my right hand.. one is my sister's ring, bt she didn't wear it anymore, so i took it =p, n another one is from my ex.. yes, my ex.. the last boyfriend i had almost two years ago.. lol.. well, don't get me wrong here.. i wore that ring all tis while, is not because i couldn't get over him.. oh, trust me, the day we broke up, was the day i forgot evrything about him.. heheh... not to be rude, or being arrogant, but, we are so meant to be friends only, and the idea of going to the next level in our relationship was a big NO-NO.. hehehe.. plus, he got a new gf now, the girl he had been waiting for even before he got to know me more.. hehehe.. ok, so now, let's talk about the ring.. he gave me that ring as a sign of our relationship thing, or whatever crap it represented.. so, after we broke-up, i stopped wearing the ring for quite some time cos i was planning to gie it back to him.. i mean, it's not some cikai ring, you know.. well, it didn't cost thousands of ringgit, but it's not that cheap after all, that's what i was told by my friends who helped him pick the ring.. heheheh.. hurmm... anyway, when i was giving it back to him, he said i should keep it, so, being a sport, i kept it in the box.. but after some time, i was thinking to myself, why should i keep the ring inside the box, when someone bough the ring specially for me.. so, since the ring was for me, no longer a sign of our LOVE or anything, so i put it back on my finger.. you could notice the ring in most of my pictures, the one i wore it on the moddle finger.. hehehehe.. so, after some time, i mean, after almost two years after we broke up (oh, did i mentioned the relationship only lasted for 3 weeks.. huhuhu), finally i realised.. maybe the ring still does represent love between us.. oh, how should i put this.. ok, maybe the ring does represent that i am still attached to him in away.. ok, not emotionally, but physically, as the ring was on my finger 24/7.. heheheh.. so, finally, i've made up my mind, i took it off, and there's no more ring on my middle finger.. yeay!! in away, spiritually, i feel like, i am being the whole me again, without any attachment, because everytime people saw me around wearing that ring, they would say that i was engaged, mainly because the ring do look like an enagement ring.. hehehehe.. so, now i've kept it somewhere out of my site (hurmm.. i wonder where did i put the ring???) , so now i am spiritually, physically mentally, and evrything soo totally not attached.. and i think because of that aura i was spreading out, i guess people saw it, and i'm full of confidence of myslef again.. yeay, me!! so, the moral of the story is, don't ever wear something that was given by your ex, even if you guys are so cool as friends.. hehehehe.. owh, and one more good thing abut letting it go is dat, my hand feels much lighter than before.. lol.. haish, i shouldn't have worn it back earlier.. hahaha.. funny..funny.. =)

something sweet.. at last!!

u know what..?? i realised something.. most of the time i write down in my blog, it was mostly about how devastating my life is and so on.. but, it's weird when i didn't recall talking about the wonderful side of my life.. it's like my blog was mostly about the sour scene, instead of the sweetsourscene i'm trying to put it in here.. so, where's the sweet scene..?? hurmm.. it's somewhere, but i was too blind to realized it all this while cos the image of pathetic life was all around me.. but, now, right this moment, i have something sweet to tell.. hehehee.. well, the results of my 1st semester 1 year degree was out today.. i jus chcked my results around 7 pm something.. bcos, 1, because i didn't realised my phone battery died, plus, my phone was in my handbag since last night.. (see, it shows that my phone is not my whole entire life, like some people may say..) plus, i was not online the whole entire day because i was watching tv the whole day, and in the evening, it was raining heavily in bangsar here, so, i couldn't be online.. so, i managed to go online only after 7 pm.. and when i checked in the mmu bulletin board, they said that the results are out on the 5th, which is tomorrow.. and after changing my status in facebook, someone who was soo nice to tell me that the results are actually out today.. hahahaha.. look how far i was ketinggalan.. and because i did not checked my phone te whole day, it made me blocked away from the outside world.. hahaha.. my friends actually send me messages talking about the results.. pfft.. and i thought i knew it first.. lol..
so, anyway, i checked the results, and thank to GOD, i passed all the papers.. hahahaha.. what's my score and the CGPA, hurmm.. let it be my own secret, ok.. let's just say that the results could help me remain as a ytm scholarship holder, which was one of my biggest concern about the results because i don't wanna let my family down.. =) and another main concerned i have was i need to score well this sem, because, if not, it's going to be tough for me to score better next time in the future semesters to come.. so, i thank GOD a lot.. how lucky i am, because i know i am not the best human being in the world, but HE still helped me with all the troubles i have all this time.. ALHAMDULILLAH.. hurmm.. and you wanna know something sweeter..?? after getting the results, it really made me think, pfftt..

don't mess with my sisters!!

u know what..?? there's one characteristic that i notice about myself is that i am a very protective person, especially when it comes to family.. i love them soo much that if anyone, and i mean ANYONE, who messes with them, especially my younger sister, will absolutely, 100%, without doubt, will kena from me right at that moment.. i'v experienced a vey bad situation 2 years back that really hit me, and ever since that, if anyone messes with my younger sister will make me soo furious that they will have to deal with me.. let's not remind me on the situation that i experienced before this.. you might say that i am just bullshitting or jus talking on thin air, but when the real thing happenning in front of me, i would not do as what i said here.. oh, no, u got that wrong..!! i used to confront a boy who without no valid reason and being soooo immature of him saying all this crap about my sister.. well, i think if i explained here on what he said, i am surely anyone will be soo furious about it, and i guess, will do the same thing.. ughhhh!!! thinking about that boy really reminds me of the situaion i had before, cos they are two both same guys who didn't use their heads to think on what they are saying.. ughh.. i hate them!!!! not that i don't protect my older sister, but i know she don't think i'm capable of coping with any of her problems, as i am so-called younger than her and i don't have much experienced in life than her.. actually, without her knowing this, i think i know a lot of stuff about life without even having to experienced it myself.. i'm not trying to brag about this, but i think because i love to read soo much, that i think somehow, in some part i learn more about life from the books i've read.. ok, mayb i don't read thirty or forty books a month, but somehow, the books that i have read thought me much, and plus with my own experienced, i think i am able to hear her problems.. ok, let's not drag out this story about my older sister for too long.. let's focus on my younger sister.. now, she's having another problem.. her new boyfriend doesn't seem to trust her in certain way.. isn't it stupid to imagine this : she was running to pick up her phone because he was calling, and when she picked up the phone, obviously she was breathing hard on the phone, and at the same time, he said he overheard a male's voice from the phone.. and you know whose voice is that..?? MY DAD..?? omg!! what an idiot!!( mind my words) how could u think that she was cheating on you when actually the voice was our dad's voice..??? what the hell is that.. no offense to anyone who reads this, but i really hate guys who didn't trust his gf and making accustaions just because of some silly things.. i think this all started when her ex-bf came and see her current bf and said that she is not easy to be taken care of..??? eh, hello..?? this one is another stupid guy..??? STUPID!STUPID!STUPID! is it wrong to talk to other guys who is just a friend..?? so, talking to another guy or making friends with guys from other school which they met in tuition classes (and that is far as they go) measn that my sister is hard to e taken care of.. well guess what, boy! u r no one in our life.. and no one gives you or ask you to take care of my sis.. hello, u're just her bf, not her husband..?? please find the definition of taking care first before you said it.. by the way, the reason u and her broke off is because your stupi attitude yourself!! u gon and flirt with other girls and there are a lot of proof in front of our eyes, oh, and even better, flirting with her own cousin, o, which by the way, didn't warned my sister at all about this situation until my sis found out herself.. eh, u're good enough to be my sister's gf for one year plus, and ignoring all this stupid stuff that he did.. ughhhh!!! i think, beause of those words : IT'S HARD TO JAGA HER, makes her current bf starting to questioned my sister.. and isn't it funny.... he was having doubt with her again, just because the line broke-off when he called.. hello!! maybe la the line here in bangsar is like crap nowadays, so because of that, it means that my sister is cheating on you..?? because he though she purposedly hung up the phone.. ughh!! stupid, childish, boy!! right now, i feel like jus confronting that guy and talked about this matter.. i know, i might be just a busy body interfering with other people's relationship problems, but when the issue that was brought up was about a stupid matter which leads to other problems, i really wanna step up and confront him.. oh, like i never did that before with any guys before this.. before this, i feel like i'm slowly starting to like her bf, because for me, i think h'e the best guy for my sis, but now, nope!! ZERO percent of liking him.. like i said earlier, if this kinda situation rise, and it is a matter of trust, which is the key base for any relationship, i will surely walk away from the relationship.. if now, not even one month they get together, trust issues happening, then what will happen in the next days to come..?? so, BOY, U KNOW WHO U R, DON'T MESS WITH MY SISTER.. COS IN A WAY YOU ARE MESSING WITH ME!

maybe yes..maybe no..

ok, the feeling of depression i had a few days ago are slowly fading away.. not that i'm ok with the situation already, it's just that i think i need to do something about that.. taking my own independent steps without having to wait for anyone to come and console me about the whole situation.. hihihihii.. positive thinking now, huh?? lol.. hurmm.. now, i have something else on mind.. actually, it's on my mind for quite some time now, but since it's a very MAJOR secret of my own feeling, no one really knows or sure about what's palying on my mind about this matter right this moment.. yes, i'm admitting that this couple of months have been so crucial to me, when i think a lot about my personal life.. personal life here means...urmm.. love life, perhaps..?? can i say that..?? oh, what the hell, i've said it.. lol.. ok, continue about it.. yes, i can't deny it anymore that sometimes i'm feeling rather lonely without someone there who i think can support me and hear me without fail.. yes, it's kinda my fault for not having great relationship with any guys lately because of my own attitude.. good guys, opps.. correction, GREAT GUYS appeared in front of me this few years, but how stupid of me either having them in my hands(woahh, harsh words) but feeling that they are not great of a guy, OR ignored guys who were right in front of me, and who are PERFECT, but i jus didn't realise it cos the so-called mindset of staying it as friends OR even falling for the wrong guy.. ughh.. what a life, nowadays.. what makes me sometimes felt alone and so outcast from my friends is that most of them, or should i say, all of them, have someone special in their life.. yes, some people might say, i'm too young for all this stuff, but, hey, i'm 19, (well, turning 19 this november) and i think i ought to experience something wonderful in my life.. just imagine, if most of your friends.. wether your friends from d campus(classmates) or even ex schoolmates or even my hostelmates, all of them have someone that they can talk about.. all i can talk about to my friends, is on what's going on with my life, or anything funny that i jus experienced or i saw lately.. no fun at all.. ok, i must say, i had some fun talking about all those stuff, but, hey, when u're feeling down, or like my case 1% OF CONFIDENCE, someone who can boost up my confidence would be a great help.. haishh..!! ok, stop talking about all those stupid backgrounds of my life.. now, let's talk about the current issue.. i think i'm having a crush on a guy whom i know my whole life..!! yes, my whole life..!! not only me, everyone in my family knows the existence of him, because he is someone very close to the family.. hurmm.. from now on, let's call him A(note that, this is not his real name and his name does not start with that letter).. this is all started way back a few years ago, when their making fun of me and him, and i think he didn't even know about this matter.. lol.. ok..ok.. better said, it all started when his parents said something about me n his son, n i'm not really sure what about, but my sister insisted on saying and keep on saying that there will be something going on between the two of us somewhere in the future.. and there were a few hints before that that shows he's showing somesigns, which i don't wanna take it too serious cos hey, i don't wanna be, AGAIN, the only one liking the guy.. so, i just kept it quiet all this while.. until recently, i can't help it but feeling something weird when he's around.. and he made me eager to go to more functions(what functions, i can't tell, cos if not, everyone will know about it).. and even worse, lately, i heard a lot of CRUSH song from DAVID ARCHULETTA.. the radio kept on spinning that song evrytime i'm in the car.. and everytime i heard that song, it made me think about him the whole time, and somehow it made me feel a bit sad cos i know, there's no way we'll get together.. cos, it's just impossible.. he's too close to me, but yet he's soo far away.. is it a psychology thing cos hearing people saying that we should be together and stuff or is it a real crush..?? i don't know.. and sometimes i think i hate this kind of feelings, cos at the end of the day i'll be the one who will be hurt.. owh, and one more crazy thing that made me think it was a crush this time cos i want him to know that i am single, by showing it in my status.. ok, like this.. sometimes, i feel like i need a new person in my life, and that will bring me to the dreams of changing my status on facebook, myspace or even friendster.. and it is a huge step for me, because all this while, even if i'm in a relationship, i will NEVER change my status to in a relationship or aything like that.. i'll just let it be single, i don't know why.. but now, i can't wait to change the status.. hehehhehe.. but, at the same time, i don't wanna change my status because i wanna be available for him the whole time.. psycho... yes!!! but, it's the truth, and i think every girl who have a crush will somehow will feel the same way.. but, how long should i wait until he make his move..?? until he got a new someone..?? wooahh.. i will be devastated again.. shiisshh, like i'm not used to that kinda situation.. lol.. whatever it is, i need answers... FAST!!

1% confidence

sadly, nowadays, especially today was my totally breaking point..
i feel like i'm d most ugliest person ever.. only lately i realised i am seriously gaining weight n obviously ppl who didn't see me for quite some time will tell me dat.. jus imagine, how can i have the confidence i used to have if each relative's house i went to last raya will tell me dat i'm gaining weight.. and it's d first thing that they noticed.. when i wanna go n salam with them, that is the thing they said to me.. it was a big pang for me.. it's like evryday i'm hearing the same thing over n over again.. n how would u feel if ur own best friend that u have known for a long time called u GEMUK in ur face when u meet each other after quite some time..?? it really hurts me when i think about it.. i know i'm kinda bad to do this, but because of that, i don't feel like hanging out with her cos i know, she will say something later.. ys, it's good to have a best friend who tells u the truth, but, dealing with sensitive issues for a girl like dis, u need to be very careful with ur words.. that made me realised that although she's my best friend, i don't think i could ever talk to to her about my problem, my life.. it has always been about her, n her latest scandal, n how great her life is in her campus.. i'm not jealous with her life, but, sometimes u just need someone to hear u n jus focus on u.. right now, my life, i dun think i can talk to anybody.. i can only talk to myself or..hurmm..right it in here.. n evrything that i'm feeling is not 100% coming out from my heart.. u might say i have other friends n other family members that i can talk to.. u know what, now i realised that most of my friends they were only meant to feel the emptiness in my heart.. meaning they were always there when i need someone to have conversation with.. it's not always about me n my problems.. it's always about them n their life.. not that i'm bored or tired of hearing their stories, believe me, i love when they talk to me about their problems cos it's like they trust me with their problems, but sometimes, i jus need my own space and moment to talk.. hurmm. enough about frens.. let's come back to the problem of confidence.. where is the girl who didn't care what other ppl say about her..?? where is the girl who are soo confidence and thinks she have the perfect body..?? where is the girl who thinks she's soo precious like any other girls.. u know what,i've never felt like this, but this couple of days, the only thing that was playing in my head when i'm alone was how should i lose weight..?? n there is time when i think that i shud try n be a bulimic or anorexic just to make evryone jus shut up.. i am totally at my lowest point tonight when all i think was i'm the fattest in my family.. n i don't know why, i feel like people are always giving me the stare like "how could she gain so much weight? where is the girl who was thin last time?" n that is also the reason why i prefer staying at home, rather than going out.. i'm slowly sinking but nobody wants to help me float back again.. they're just trying to let me drift away from them.. ughhh!!! i hate this feeling!!!! no one around me understands what i'm going through and what's playing in my mind.. i really don't have anyone to talk to now..

This is currenlty my favourite song n my most favourite..
song called HARU HARU or english DAY BY DAY, by a korean boyband BIG BANG..
i found out about this song when i saw the video clip on MTV..
bt when i watched the videon on MTV, i don't know the meaning of the song, so i search for it online.. hihihi.. the english subtitle is provided and if u wanna sing along the song, i provide the lyris here.. enjoy..!! =)

YEAH
FINALLY I REALIZED
THAT I’M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
I WAS SO WRONG
FORGIVE ME

Ah Ah Ah Ah -

Padocheoreom buswojin nae mam
Baramcheoreom heundeullineun nae mam
Yeongicheoreom sarajin nae sarang
Munsincheoreom jiwojijiga anha
Hansumman ttangi kkeojira swijyo
Nae gaseumsogen meonjiman ssahijyo SAY GOODBYE

YEAH
Nega eobsin dan harudo mot salgeotman gatatdeon na
Saenggakgwaneun dareugedo geureokjeoreok honja jal sara
Bogosipdago bulleobwado neon amu daedabeobtjanha
Heotdoen gidae georeobwado ijen soyongeobtjanha

Ne yeope inneun geu sarami mwonji hoksi neol ullijin annneunji
Geudae naega boigin haneunji beolsseo ssak da ijeonneunji
Geokjeongdwae dagagagijocha mareul geol su jocha eobseo aetaeugo
Na hollo gin bameul jisaeujyo subaekbeon jiwonaejyo

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

OH GIRL I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL (SAY GOODBYE)

Gireul geotda neowa na uri majuchindahaedo
Mot boncheok hagoseo geudaero gadeongil gajwo

Jakkuman yet saenggagi tteooreumyeon amado
Nado mollae geudael chajagaljido molla

Neon neul geu saramgwa haengbokhage neon neul naega dareun mam an meokge
Neon neul jageun miryeondo an namgekkeum jal jinaejwo na borandeusi

Neon neul jeo haneulgachi hayake tteun gureumgwado gachi saeparake
Neon neul geureoke useojwo amu il eopdeusi

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

Nareul tteonaseo mam pyeonhaejigil (nareul itgoseo saragajwo)
Geu nunmureun da mareulteni YEAH (haruharu jinamyeon)

Charari mannaji anhatdeoramyeon deol apeultende UM
Yeongwonhi hamkkehajadeon geu yaksok ijen
Chueoge mudeodugil barae baby neol wihae gidohae

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

OH GIRL
I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL
SAY GOODBYE BYE
OH MY LOVE
DON’T LIE LIE
YO MY HEART
SAY GOODBYE

taken from :http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/10121/big-bang/haru-haru.html

worst day ever!!

OMG!! today is officially my worst day ever.. no doubt..
the first half of the day was ok.. bt then.. d other half.. omg..
afta my malaysian studies paper, i was planning to go bck home cos i'm sick n i'm soo tired n i feel like i can't breathe with all this ppl around..
so, i drove alone.. my gas was at d minimum point, bt i jus kept on going cos i know my car, n i know it can still hold on.but, with my freaking stupid n blur thinking, it didn't occur to me at all that there might be traffic jam near bangsar..
then my car started to be shaky a bit, n i was praying hard, n i think i never pray that hard in my entire life..
jus imagine, u were all alone in d car, n u're not feeling well, n it's raining, n u know, if ur car broke down, it surely cos worse traffic jam.. n i almost met with an accident.. oopss.. correction, twice.. i almost hit motorcycles.. obviously bcos of my 'blurness' n clumsiness.. n one of the motorcyclist even called me stupid.. i heard him cos i opened the window.. hurmm.. how exciting can that be..
it's all because i wanted to get in the right lane to go to the petrol station there, bt i couldn't cos the cars won't let me.. that is when, i almost hit the motorcycles.. surely, the car behind me will think i'm such a beginner at driving.. haishh.. bt what to do, i'm soo blur, n i'm sooo sick..!! ughhh..
bt luckily, i think the GOD loves me dearly, right in front of the petrol station, i manage to slide in between cars n then, i went n filled up my gas.. OMG.. really, GOD helps me soo much.. cos right in front of the petrol station, no cars are blocking me from getting through it.. n d rest of the journey went smoothly..
thak god..
i really though the worst was gonna happened.. i didn't tell mama or baba about this, cos i don't want them to worry about me the next time im driving..
sheeshh, i almost had a trauma for a sec, n i felt like i dun wanna drive the car anymore.. this really made me think, if i didn't even had any accident, i was in shocked, how about the people who had an accident, or people who hit someone or experienced something major.. haishh.. whatever it is, i'm soo glad i arrived home safely.. huhuhu.. n now i feel a lot better about it..
huhuu..

BRAMBUS!

korg mesti pelik kenapalah saye gune bahasa melayu dlm blog saye ni.. x pernah2 sepanjang hidup saye, saye tulis blog dlm b.m. hurmm.. sebenarnye sye tulis dlm bm ni pun sbb sye nk melarikan diri dari.. dgn bahase ni je sye dpt melarikan diri dari sorg mamat yang setahu saye mmg x tau b.m. n mintak2 la, klo die bkk blog nie, die x pegi tanye kwn2 die yg tau b.m. utk translatekan bende ni utk die.. huhuhu.. sbb tulah jugak byk shortform yg digunekn, sbb minx die lg la x phm.. kui3.. hurmm.. sebenarnye, nk citer psl sorg mamat yg btul2 dh merimaskan sye.. hishh.. tiap2 hari asal sye mendaftar masuk buku muke(korg translate la sendiri dlm b.i. ape yg sye tulis tu) mesti dgn pntasnye die akn berbual dgn saya.. sekali dua kali xpe la.. ni x tiap2 kali buke je, mesti die trus dtg.. klo ym, apetah lagi.. lagila, bru online, x sempat nk tuka status, die dtg buzz.. mcm mane tu.. haishh.. saye ni pulak, mmg dh dikenali sbg org yg plg mls nk lyn org yg slalu sgt sms or ape2 je la utk berbual dgn die.. bosan!! n dah agk dh niat di sebaliknye.. klo org tu mmg berjaye bukkkan hati xpe jugak, ni klo mmg dh set dlm kepala hotak dr awl knl lgi, yg mmg mamat tu ptt jadi kwn je, tu yg dtg mls dan bosan tu.. jgn kate org yg bru nk kenal, seorang lelaki bernama bf pun belum tentu bole hilangkan rasa bosan ni, klo setiap hari sms, sms, sms! haishh.. naik bosan!!! saye tabik spring gile la sape yg bole kekal lama ngan bf diorg wpun cukup dgn anta sms or ckp tepon je setiap hari.. huhuhu.. bkn nk kate sye ni bgs sgt pown, mmg sye sorg gadis yg biase n xde lawa mane pun, tp, perasaan dlmn sendiri, mcm mane nk tolak, babe!! huhuhu.. hurmm.. berbalik ngan citer sye td, hurmm.. pening kepala x tau nk buat ape ngan mamat nie.. mmg la die x ckp ape2 yg membawa ke arah lain tu, tp, dr gerak bicara die, mmg dh agk pelik dh.. utk org yg expert menolak lelaki ni (sbb tu la xde bf smpi skarang =)), mmg dh tau dh, mesti lain mcm je nie.. huhuhu.. die penah sat hari tu ajk kuar mkn, opss.. bukan ajak, memberi arahan.. die suro sye jumpe die lps habis pepriksaan ari2.. lps tu, trus die x reply, pdhal blum confirm pun lagi, jadi ke x.. tu yg tensen tu.. huhu.. so, smpi skarang ni, sye x lyn die, n mmg die prasan bende tu.. dlm status die, die ade kte die nk blik negara die ari ahd ni.. mcm la sye akn lyn dh kan status die tu.. hishhh.. sbelom ni, status die tu la yg membuatkn sye terjerat mcm skarang ni.. hurm.. sye jus hope, die blik negara die tanpe peru carik sye.. sorila, tp, walau terdesak mcm mane pun sye nk ade bf, sye xkn pilih anda.. huhhuu.. perbezaan trlalu byk.. x bole..x bole.. td dlm 'buku muke', die bru anta komen, die bg tande soal byk sgt.. mungkin sbb sye x lyn die dlm chatting kot.. sbb tu la.. tp, nk buat mcm mane.. org twrkan persahabatan tetibe lain mcm plak, aihh, x btul nie.. klo kwn, stay kwn sudh la.. bkn nk ckp ape, tp dr pemerhatian sye n kwn sye, mmg diorg ni, terlalu terdesak nk ade gf.. ntah la kenapa, tp mmg dh slalu nmpk camtu.. rapat sket je ngan pompuan, trus late suke.. pastu klo pompuan tu reject, mlm tu jugak die carik pompuan laen.. ni bkn rekaan tp btul.. mmg terjadi kt kwn sye.. haishh.. hurmm.. ape2 pun, minx2 la die x kacau sye dh.. mengganggu ketenteraman nk blaja je.. dh la x tau nk cite permasalahan ni kat sape.. sume mcm ade mslh msng2 je.. mmg la org akn igt mslh ni remeh je, tp, klo bende ni berlarutan, bkn ke lagi membebankn kepale otak ni.. uhuhu.. so, dlm ni je la bole nk cite pown.. huhuhu.. klo korng rase ade suggestion, bgtau la ek.. dh tensen gile ni.. huhuu

SEPI..?? THE BEST!!

OMG! i just watched a malay movie called SEPI.. yes, i know the movie are no longer playing in the cinema, and now only i'm watching that movie.. but, it's never too late, right..??
SEPI is about three different stories about different situation, where people are feeling lonely in their life, mainly because of the lack of love in their lives..
the first story brought us to the story of adam, who had always been trying to find the girl that belongs to him. until he met that girl, problems occur as the girl are engaged and soon to be married..
and then, we have a story about a guy named sufi.. an accident had cause his wife to die in front of his eyes, and he felt the loneliness as he take everything for granted, eventhough he loves his wife dearly. because of his devastativeness, he tries to run from the problem, and met a woman who was there when he needed someone for support.. unfortunately, the woman are married to another man, and eventhough he could not leave her wife, her heart belongs to sufi..
the last story is about a girl named imaan and how she had to work with a guy who thinks he's good in everything.. imaan have a very boyfriend, but as time goes by, without she realizing it, she had fallen for that guy..
the endings..???? i can't tell, cos if u didn't watch that movie yet, u won't feel what i felt..
i never cried this bad my whole life watching a movie.. yes, of course there are several dramas or movies that can make me cry watching it, but not as bad as this movie..
maybe, the feeling of loneliness, as what the director are trying to potray in this film hits me straight to the heart..
it makes me start to wonder.. wether i will always stay lonely forever, or saved by someone from this loneliness somewhere in the future, or found the one for me in the future..
i know, it's such a silly thing to be thinking about, but, perhaps this feelings are too strong.. not that i can't survive living alone, but the question is, will i find that special one in the future..??? now, that's the question that bothers me soo much lately.. hurmm..
but, seriously, talk about this movie, people who felt the feeling of loneliness in their life, will want to see this movie.... it's one of the greatest movie ever created in Malaysia.. heheheh... hope that soon i can find the answer for the quesion that keeps bothering me now..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

Hey, everyone..!!
if there is people who read my blog.. huhuhu..
jus wanna wish u a happy hari raya this year..
may you guys will receive a lot of duit raya, so that u can treat me for a wonderful dinner.. lol
as usual, i'll be celebrating it at my grandmother's place in terengganu..
except for last year, we celebrate it in kl, and i don't feel the excitement at all..
so, i prefer going back to my kampung n celebrate it there..
and i'm going back tomorrow..!!! weeee... very excited about it.. heheh..
and as usual too, i'll be celebrating ALONE..
let me highlight it here, the "alone" part does not mean i'm not going to celebrate it with my family..
wooahh, celebrating with my family is a big MUST.. heheh..
the definition of "alone" here means, being single.. as usual..
i don't know.. somehow it happened to me every year..
normally, my relationship with any guys will end before raya, OR starts after raya..
so, i never feel the excitement of wishing your partner a great big raya.. hehehe..
ok, i sounded so desperate here.. which i think i'm still not in that zone yet.. hehehe..
but you know what, as long as i have my family around me, i on't need any guys to be there for me..
besides, it's not like that guy would be roight in front of me during hari raya.. duhhh!! hehehe..
this raya thing brought me to think of a good friend of mine who just left for u.k. on 11th september..
this is the first time he would be out of the country alone, and what's more devastating is that, his first class in the university there is on the first day of raya itself.. what luck does he have..?? heheh..
bt i bet he'll make it through there, cos i think he was born to stay there..!! with his skill of mimicking the british accent and all, i doubt if he have any problem surviving the big world..
plus, u.k., specifically london, is a very great place to stay..
my family and i went there for just one week, and we felt like going there again, cos we missed a lot of the beautiful places there.. huhuhu..
hurmm.. maybe next time.. or, even better luck, next year!! lol
well, before i leave, i wish u guys a very HAPPY HARI RAYA... and for those of you who would be travelling to your hometown, i wish you guys a save journey home, and have a wonderful time spending this festive season with them..
and again, SELAMAT HARI RAYA..!!! =)

surprise!surprise!

hahahaahah.. something gr8 jus happened a few moments ago..
last sunday was reena's birthday.. n for her birthday, all of us, the malacca family, namely rema, nits, martin, ivan, hiran n i planned to give something special for her birthday..
we planned to give her a PHONE..!! hahaha..
now, that's a big shocker, n i think that's the biggest present i've ever given to a friend..
hehee..
we chipped in money together n buy the phone.
specifically, i went to buy the phone, bt one small mistake i made was i bought the phone that nits used to use it last time. hahahah.. bt what to do, small budget, and that's the best i can get..
what phone we get for her, is a secret.. hehehe..
it's soo hard to give her the phone..
first because, on her birthday, i didn't buy the phone yet, cos not enough money, and stuff..
so, i bought it on monday, n was planning to give it to her on tuesday, after my class.. but, she went to malacca on that day, so i have to wait until she get back here, which was today.. heheh..
it's hard to keep it down from her, cos she's not here, so i was like texting her evry singe day, asking when is she coming bck.. i have to ask her, cos if not, how am i suppose to give it to her..
heheheh..
n jus now, i went to her house n gave it to her..
n she can't believe it!! good.good.. that's how we hope she will react..
haisshh.. it jus shows how much we love her, n how much we appreciate her as a true friend..
it's hard to find a friend who are always there for you, n she will sensed it when something is not right.. heheheh..
thanx a lot reena..
the value of the phone is nothing compared to the friendship n love she had showered us for as long as we know each other.. ngeeee..!! so, happy birthday!!!

xoxo,
~beauteeful shyunkk~

first timer..?? never!!

hurmm.. people might think this is my first time blogging..
bt, nope, it's not my first..
i use to actively blogged last time, but, due to the laziness, and boredom of posting the old stories (which i think my viewers will feel the same way too..), so, i stopped blogging for awhile..
now, i'm BACK!! with a whole lot of other stories to tell, i hope it's a better SCENE than before..
heheheh..
can't wait to start again.. weeee...!!! =)