Monday, January 5, 2009

so many stories in a month

hurmm.. where do i start..?? hurmm.. can i jus start by saying i'm having exam tomorrow..?? two papers, n instead of studying i feel like writing my blog, which i didn't update for more than a month now.. oh ya, anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! heheh.. i know it's like almost a week already since 2009 had begun, bt hey, it's never too late, right..?? lol.. this couple of weeks is full with memories.. good memories, bad memories, everything.. i cried, i laughed, i did crazy stuff with my sisters.. i've liked someone, i've lost interest on someone, celebrating ppl 's birthday, celebrating xmas.. n many other stuff, n it's hard to update evry single thing.. bt i'll try my best k.. towards the end of last year, it has been a big bummer to me.. i did mention b4 dis that i think i like someone now, bt it seems like that will never happen, cos we're cool as frens, n i'm more open when i am friends with the guy.. relax..relax.. i'm not heartbroken for the gazillion times now.. lol.. it's jus a temporary feeling b4 it hit me dat it'll be never go further than a friendship thing.. hehehe.. so, dat ended up well.. d bummer part was actually d fact that somehow, n sometimes, i feel i'm all alone in this world.. yes, i know b4 dis, i dun really care cos i got my friends around.. bt how long can a friend stick by you, cos they will eventually have their own personal n private life to entertain.. n i broke down a couple of times jus bcos of dis matter.. stupid, eh..?? but, one day, it hit me dat, no matter how alone i will be my friends will always be there for me, evnthough i dun wanna kacau their life at d moment.. heheh.. they're really good friends, sticking by me through the goods n d bads.. evry single one of my friend.. hehehe.. ok..ok.. stop dis emoing moment.. lol.. so, to stop me from feeling down n stressing on dis matter, i had a list of brand new new year's resolutions.. first, i wanna try to lose weight.. try as in i dun wanna force myself on doing it jus for the sake of impressing ppl.. i wanna go on a diet for my own good.. ppl can say whatever they wanna say cos they jus dunno what to say to me, so they alk about my weight.. lol.. n i won't care for the people who thinks too much about being skinny n all, n jus dun look at d beauty behind all dis.. n i'll ignore ppl who were not encouraging me to stay fit for myself, n not for others.. don't wanna elaborate much on dat, let's jus this be it.. =)... my next resolution is to try n mingle around with others, n know more ppl.. i mean, i shouldn't keep on asking myself why am i still alone, what hav i done b4 dis, that makes me in dis kind of situation, n stuff like dat.. so, instead of feeling low, i should start mixing with ppl.. go on dates with my friend's friend..or anyone dat i know, who r open to jus date.. if it works out ok, then it's ok.. n if it didn't work ouy, hey, i make new friends.. n my last resolution is i wanna stop feeling like a bummer each day.. i need to cheer up n live to the fullest.. njoy d moments, n cherish it.. hihihi.. haishh.. i am totally in a very semangat mood.. evrything i do is to put myself first, n find d missing pieces for all my questions that i hav been asking myself d whole of 2008.. hihihi.. n as far as i'm concerned, 2009 started very well for me.. i'm in full gear to start a brand new life..a brand new me.. =) bt when i am jus njoying d moment, dat was when drama will occur.. sometimes ppl can't jus accept rejection.. n it's not even a rejection.. bcos if it is, i'll surely ignore u from d first moment i met you.. at least i still wanna make friends, with you, n dat's a good start right..?? u jus hav to respect my principe in life, n i won't change my principe jus bcos of a guy.. then i will be unfair to all d ppl i've said that to.. chill la.. there's a lot of ways to communictae nowadays.. n u're jus being childish about it.. i never said NO to you, it's jus that it's my damn principe.. haishh... ok..ok.. *breath in*breath out* i wanna have a great n chirpy life remmbr..??? huhuhu... hurmm.. at d moment, i'll let you cool down n try to forget me from your mind jus bcos u couldn't get what you want (note that, don't think about what the thiing that he wanted, it's not to THAT extreme, ok! it's jus something small n if u know it, u'll know that guy is somehow not thinking rationally).. so, yea, screw him.. i need to enjoy life.. =)