how long a secret can stay a secret?

well..well.. when i thought everything is over, and i'm fine with it, that is when everything starts to be clear and making its way...

remember about the crush i had with this guy i called anuar zain i think, or AZ, can't remmber which one.. hehe.. well, remember him? ok, let's recall, the last i heard was about him liking or having something going on with this girl that i know from somewhere..

so, the story goes on from there.. i know that i can get over this guy pretty easily cos maybe because i'm still at the early stage of liking him, and i didn't put any hopes on him at all, so letting him pass was a piece of cake..

but, something made me stay.. hehe.. yesterday, me n my sis, n a few of her classmates went on a trip to some place.. and some people said that AZ might be coming with his friends, and i don't really care.. but the rest of them were hoping that if he did plan to join them all, please don't bring 'that girl' along.. lol.. and who was the emotional people now.. hehee..

and only until late at night, when we planned to surprise one of my sis' classmates with some surprise belated birthday thing, he n his friends came too.. n lucky them(or maybe it should be lucky me) cos 'that girl' didn't come.. huhuhu.. and one of his close friend's gf are a friend of mine too.. so, we started talking..

until my sis thought of why not just spilling it out to them or that friend of mine.. cos AZ kept on asking her who's the girl that my sis talked about having a crush on him... and the funny part was, and it should be a red-faced moments when some of my sis' frens giving hints that are pretty obvious if you're a fast observer.. hehehe..

so, i told my fren about him, and she was shocked that she never thought that i will be liking him.. lol.. much surprise..?? hmm.. i don't know.. i guess so..
then, she said, it is somehow a bit too late now.. n she asked me why didn't i make any moves earlier.. but the thing is, i don't see the need of telling him, i don;t know why.. hehehe..

but the whole night, i didn't really bother about his existence there as i was busy taking people's pics all around.. heheh.. seriously, i didn't bother, and i didn't think of him much that night, eventhough he was right in front of me..
i think all the hints started to make him think about the possibility that the admirer was me, cos when sometime i turned aronf and met his eyes, i saw him looking at me... i think! lol..

ok, by the end of the night, my friend's bf whom is a close friend to him (like i said earlier) was also informed about the whole admiring thing and who the girl is.. lol..

so, the next day, on the way back to cyberjaya, one of his friend(another friend of his) carpooled us back.. and obviously, on the way back home, it was 80% conversation about him, and obviously after awhile he can guessed who the girl is*pointing at myself*.. lol..

and seriously, i don't care!!! lol.. so then we went to lunch, and supposedly he joined us, but he didn't cos he overslept or soemthing like that..

n when we finished eating, my sis called him to ask him something, and then she brought up about him not joining us for lunch.. and she said she thought of telling him who's the girl during lunch and she even brought the girl there.. lol..

he said after the friday's prayer he wanna meet up with them all to jus hang out or something like that..

before i said anything, i'm not nervous at all about him knowing it, because he had someone more important now, or that's what we thought, that for me, wethre he knows about it or not, it makes no difference.. and for me, the idea of meeting up with him, was not that interesting for me, cos i pity the friend who car pooled with us cos he wanted to go home, of course.. hehe..

but because of lack of sleep and we're super tired, at the end, me, mamu, and that friend slept at lin's place while she was buzy packing up.. lol..

and i didn't realise when, but my sis n lin went out and met up with him and talked about this..lol.. and my sis said he played with my MR DYDY.. lol..

and apart from that, yes the secret is no longer a secret cos he knew about it already now..

regrets..?? nervous..?? hmm.. i didn't know what i should feel.. i didn't feel anything actually.. i seriously don;t know why.. we even went out for a movie after that sort-of-confession by my sis about me to him..

went to watch terminator salvation, but we went in earlier and our seats are one row behind their row( he n his friends).. oh, n guess what.?? he bought 'that gir;' too!! hahaha.. n mamu was super furious..

he was not focus watchin the show, cos he kept on checking the two of them.. lol.. and i was minding my own business, watcing that movie peacefully, withoug even thinking about him.. lol..

and the best part was the part when we went out after one hour of the show.. ahahahaha.. firstly, because mamu couldn't stand looking at the 2 of them, eventhough they're not doing anything... and secondly, my sis was not njoying the movie too.. plus, we need to get home, cos it's getting late and we were having some family dinner tonight..

so, i don't mind anything.. and it never hit me that that miht be the last time i will see him again, cos they're graduating now.. hmmm.. so, what should i be feeling..?? sad..?? happy..?? nervous..??? but the real thing is, i'm not feeling anything.. lol