new road

yesterday, i went to the company that I am doing my internship at to take and sign on the offer letter.. alhamdulillah, after a very stressful months of emailing, calling and went for interview(even if i only went for one interview) but it was all worth it at the end.. with the company that i have manage to get an offer from, it's all worth it. well, of course, some will say it's a bit unfair cos i got in because of some contacts, but hey, i did the interview, the super-stressful online test, all on my own.. so, i have to take some credit for that right?

i have no intention of disclosing which company i am going to.. siapa tahu, tahu laa.. hahahaha.. entah, for some people, you wanna tell the whole world about it.. siap forwarding the offer letter lagi! but for me, well, what the hell.. it's good enough that people know that you're doing your internship.. hihihihi..

only a few days left before the big first day.....!!! anxious? not really.. nervous...? a bit... sad..? very much!! cos it's like i'm going through another new phase.. yes, people say, oh come on don't make a huge deal out of it.. ure still coming back for classes later on.. but it's 6 months!! 6 months of getting up early, n then going back home late.. omg!!! i still can't digest this thoughts yet! lol

to all my mmu friends who are still in campus, i'm gonna miss you guys so much... hopefuly this 6 months fly by without even me realizing it so that we can finally hang out again.. yeay!!!n to my fellow saktinians.. gosh!! will be missing dancing practices for two semesters!! *gasp* but nevermind, had my last performance like a few hours ago.....ALONE..!!! solo performance ok... bahahahahahaa.. ok..ok.. not bragging and talking about that..

anywayy.. hopefully this internship will make me a better person, will teach me a greater value in life.. and hopefully eventhough all this working thins going on, and boyfie is doing his thing too, working and stuff(and god knows where will he be located for his job) hopefully everything stays the same.. hihihihi..

and oh, hopefully i am ready for the 6 working days in a week as mentioned in the offer letter.. *gulp* i can go through this!! yeahh!! =p

~beauteeful shyunkk

the future

life is a total puzzle.. you don't know what will happen next in your life.. it's soo confusing if you think too much of it. soo.. the best thing is to just sit back relax and take it all in... BUT at the same time, try and see if you can manage to figure it out on your way to getting the missing pieces in the puzzle..

and that is what i'm going through right now.. long distance relationship is really not my thing.. and i really do not have any clue when will this kind of relationship ends. so far, what we are trying to do is act like it's just another sem break, so we're apart for a few weeks.. but hopefully, it won't turn to be a very loooong 'sem break'...

i hate the feeling of missing him too much... it's like i can't do anything about it. i can't just see him whenever i want, and i can't see his face and touch him and feel the warmth of his hands.. huhuhu.. LDR sucks.. and with the people around us who have been together for a long time, and they broke up just because of this LDR thing, it's killing me and worrying me.. it's not that i'm not trusting him and it's not that he doesn't trust me.. it's just that i just hate to be apart from him..

yes, i have to admit, i am being too clingy with him, because he showed me what it was to care for someone and be there for you through your worst condition and your most gorgeous and beautiful moments.

ok, thinking about him and writing this on the blog making me missing a lil bit more.. NOT HELPING AT ALL..!! lol.. ok bye!

a good friend

i don't know how should i put this, but i'm not liking the fact right now that i just knew...

i'm not saying it's wrong for you to move on.. as a matter of fact, it's for the best and i am so glad you can move on... but, the girl that you chose was not a good match.. yes, i have no rights to say who's a good catch for you and who's not.. it's your life and you know the people around you more than i do..

it's making me sick that after all the nonsense that you knew she had put you through over a year, and you are one of the people who knows the most about her life, and yet you chose her..??? how desperate are you right now..

i won't be like her, saying and spreading words that they're not a good catch for me.. i won't say that, cos at the end of the day, i don't know her that well, and i don't have the rights to judge her, but from what i can see and what i know about her, since i used to be close to her, she is not good enough for you..

you deserve someone better, babe!! come on!! are you sure you want to be with her.. and introduce her to your mom one fine day..??? are you sure..?? hmmm.. i don't think so.. i thought you were the one who said you don't wanna rush into all this love mess, and you wanna make friends now, and search for love when you are ready.. but why right now you can't seem to be living without a girl in your life? come on la weyh!!! seriously, you can do better..

but then again, i can only say it like this.. i do not have the rights to your life..

who knows, your mission or your dream or whatsoever you were calling it all this while will come true and you manage to change her to a better person.. and at the same teaching you to be a better person as well, just like everyone is trying to learn from their experiences in life.

at least, her wait will finally pay off...!!

2011- it's time to change

it's a brand new year people!!! woot! woot! it has been 23 days into the new year, and things are looking great for me.. =)

as usual, since the last post that i posted in my blog, well, like i said, things had change for the better. how much better you might ask.. well, let's just say that what i hope for came true.

for those who still didn't know.. well, i am in LOVE... again!! the date to remember was 19th december 2010.. why that date was chosen was not a big deal, because at that moment, i felt that it is the right time for me to start a brand new experience with a brand new man of my life.

yes, since the last blogpost i've posted, things was like a rollercoaster ride...and the ride was not a smooth ride.. i could throw up anytime during that period.. lol.. not saying that i'm the most hottest or wanted girl for the guys, but i must say, i admit that i was not being a good one. i always said that i do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but yet, at the end of the day, i've hurt a lot of feelings. but, after awhile, i must say, that it is all for the best.

making a decision was a pretty tough one for me. too caught up with the idea of not hurting anyone had made me at the end of the day, the girl who breaks people'e heart. i apologize from the bottom of my heart for whatever things that i've done to any of them, but i just had to do what i have to do. for that few months(after my break with the ex) i was trying to please everyone, without thinking of what is best for me. taking too much time to finally noticed this had made it all worse. but at the end of the day. thank god, i finally did what i had to do. though there were some awkwardness to some individuals, but, we're working on it slowly. =)

the man in my life now is my priority right now.. and the weirdest part was that being with him had made me the person i was never before. he had truly open my doors to the things that i don't really show to people-my sensitive characters and all that. he had made me the girl who can open up and communicate and not run from any of my problems or our problems. he listens to every single thing i said, but the best part was he talks to me too, which is what i needed the most, a man who can talk to me.

and i know, he loves me for me, and even if there's part of me that i'm sure he dislikes, he'll try and talk to me about it.. but, at the end of the day, he still loves me.... *smile*

and seriously, i am hoping this will be the last person i will ever be with, cos i don't know if i can ever find anyone who understands me and accepts me better than he did..

people might say, oh, u guys are still new... everything is chirpy and happy.. wait till the next few months, and you will not what's in store for you. well, you know what... though it might be a very fresh relationship, we had our ups and downs. some problems are solved, but some are yet to get better, we're still working on it.. and i can say that i am ready to face anything that's coming on in the future... we will try to fight it, come what may!

so, 2011.. come and work with me so that the changes are for the better..