the mystery of human being

i've been wondering all this while about people at times. you see, human being are very complicated.. people might say girls are complicated and think far too much about stuff, but in reality, we are all like that.. whether ur a guy or a girl, a man or a woman, children, parents, whoever we are.

sometimes, when we watch drama series or movies, there are always this antagonist character which is so violent, or evil or just do whatever they want to do as long as they get what they want.. and have you ever wonder that all these characters, can it be true..??? could there be a normal human being who have this very negative energy around them.. well, after seeing a lot of dramas in my own family and others this past few months, i can now say that, there is such people who have this very evil mind...

and i think i can see it in my life as well.. it might not be THAT evil...not as evil as some other people in someone's life i know... but yeah, it's kinda weird how people think at times..

people might say that this person backstabbed me... but, i guess the fact that i don't see it with my own eyes(duh! it's call backstab.. if u see it, then it's not gonna be from the back right..??) so, i still can't say that this person had an intention to do so... but yeah, i know how this person is.. her character... and obviously, many people are starting to notice this..

but what can i do? i will be trying to avoid her, but somehow she's gonna be there... at the place where i am... gosh! all the love you gave to me, so it's only a lie, or it's your way to get into my way... haihh.. people are a mystery aren't they..??

never backed down...

eventhough i can see that there's no way of turning back and be like how we were before, it's just what i feel.. i'm not gonna be putting my white flag up that easy.

i know you think that i shouldn't still love you

or tell you that

But if i didn't say it well i'd still have felt it

Where's the sense in that?



I promise i'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were



But i will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above

I'm in love and always will be



I know i left too much mess and destruction

To come back again

And i caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again



And if you live by the rules of it's over

Then i'm sure that that makes sense



But i will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above

I'm in love and always will be



And when we meet which i'm sure we will

All that was there will be there still

I'll let it pass and hold my tongue

And you will think that i've moved on



I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be



I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be



I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be~

if....

i thought i'm getting better, but the real fact is that i'm just in a much worse position.... my mind just can't stop thinking about all this... at times i'll be super chirpy.. then later i'll be super down...... i pity my friends the most.. cos i just can't stop talking about it... huhuhu

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Sempat terpikir 'tuk kembali

Walau beda akan ku jalani

Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Apakah sama yang kurasa

Ingin jumpa walau ada segan

Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu

Jika memang masih bisa

Mulutku berbicara

Santun kata yang ingin terucap

Kan ku dengar caci dan puji dirimu padaku

Kita masih muda

Dalam mencari keputusan

Maafkan daku ingin kembali

Seumpama ada jalan 'tuk kembali

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu

can i....????

dreams do come true... even if it's bad

last week i dreamt of me breaking up with my boyfriend.. was a very scary one, and the thought of it gives me chills to the bone..

but, as i said, dreams do come true... even if it's nightmares... yes, we broke up..

am i sad? yes, of course... i cried like hell in front of my friends cos i was not expecting it at all...

the reason? it's something that just can't work if only one person is trying to work it out, while the other is not showing any sign of trying to work thing out..

what am i going to do? i don't know... guess i just have to let go all the things that i have planned for 'our' future.. but still don't know what to do with the pictures of us that i jus print out and framed..

are you guys ok? we're still friends.... but we'll see how it goes...

yes, i lied when i didn't cry and i was smiling the whole time... i want him so bad that it hurts me sooo..soo..deeply when i know that he doesn't feel the same way as i do...

guess the singlehood magnetic is too strong on me that i can't endure the relationship that i cherished and contributed the most...