sweetsour scene

new road

2011-02-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

yesterday, i went to the company that I am doing my internship at to take and sign on the offer letter.. alhamdulillah, after a very stressful months of emailing, calling and went for interview(even if i only went for one interview) but it was all worth it at the end.. with the company that i have manage to get an offer from, it's all worth it. well, of course, some will say it's a bit unfair cos i got in because of some contacts, but hey, i did the interview, the super-stressful online test, all on my own.. so, i have to take some credit for that right?

i have no intention of disclosing which company i am going to.. siapa tahu, tahu laa.. hahahaha.. entah, for some people, you wanna tell the whole world about it.. siap forwarding the offer letter lagi! but for me, well, what the hell.. it's good enough that people know that you're doing your internship.. hihihihi..

only a few days left before the big first day.....!!! anxious? not really.. nervous...? a bit... sad..? very much!! cos it's like i'm going through another new phase.. yes, people say, oh come on don't make a huge deal out of it.. ure still coming back for classes later on.. but it's 6 months!! 6 months of getting up early, n then going back home late.. omg!!! i still can't digest this thoughts yet! lol

to all my mmu friends who are still in campus, i'm gonna miss you guys so much... hopefuly this 6 months fly by without even me realizing it so that we can finally hang out again.. yeay!!!n to my fellow saktinians.. gosh!! will be missing dancing practices for two semesters!! *gasp* but nevermind, had my last performance like a few hours ago.....ALONE..!!! solo performance ok... bahahahahahaa.. ok..ok.. not bragging and talking about that..

anywayy.. hopefully this internship will make me a better person, will teach me a greater value in life.. and hopefully eventhough all this working thins going on, and boyfie is doing his thing too, working and stuff(and god knows where will he be located for his job) hopefully everything stays the same.. hihihihi..

and oh, hopefully i am ready for the 6 working days in a week as mentioned in the offer letter.. *gulp* i can go through this!! yeahh!! =p

~beauteeful shyunkk

the future

2011-02-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

life is a total puzzle.. you don't know what will happen next in your life.. it's soo confusing if you think too much of it. soo.. the best thing is to just sit back relax and take it all in... BUT at the same time, try and see if you can manage to figure it out on your way to getting the missing pieces in the puzzle..

and that is what i'm going through right now.. long distance relationship is really not my thing.. and i really do not have any clue when will this kind of relationship ends. so far, what we are trying to do is act like it's just another sem break, so we're apart for a few weeks.. but hopefully, it won't turn to be a very loooong 'sem break'...

i hate the feeling of missing him too much... it's like i can't do anything about it. i can't just see him whenever i want, and i can't see his face and touch him and feel the warmth of his hands.. huhuhu.. LDR sucks.. and with the people around us who have been together for a long time, and they broke up just because of this LDR thing, it's killing me and worrying me.. it's not that i'm not trusting him and it's not that he doesn't trust me.. it's just that i just hate to be apart from him..

yes, i have to admit, i am being too clingy with him, because he showed me what it was to care for someone and be there for you through your worst condition and your most gorgeous and beautiful moments.

ok, thinking about him and writing this on the blog making me missing a lil bit more.. NOT HELPING AT ALL..!! lol.. ok bye!

a good friend

2011-02-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

i don't know how should i put this, but i'm not liking the fact right now that i just knew...

i'm not saying it's wrong for you to move on.. as a matter of fact, it's for the best and i am so glad you can move on... but, the girl that you chose was not a good match.. yes, i have no rights to say who's a good catch for you and who's not.. it's your life and you know the people around you more than i do..

it's making me sick that after all the nonsense that you knew she had put you through over a year, and you are one of the people who knows the most about her life, and yet you chose her..??? how desperate are you right now..

i won't be like her, saying and spreading words that they're not a good catch for me.. i won't say that, cos at the end of the day, i don't know her that well, and i don't have the rights to judge her, but from what i can see and what i know about her, since i used to be close to her, she is not good enough for you..

you deserve someone better, babe!! come on!! are you sure you want to be with her.. and introduce her to your mom one fine day..??? are you sure..?? hmmm.. i don't think so.. i thought you were the one who said you don't wanna rush into all this love mess, and you wanna make friends now, and search for love when you are ready.. but why right now you can't seem to be living without a girl in your life? come on la weyh!!! seriously, you can do better..

but then again, i can only say it like this.. i do not have the rights to your life..

who knows, your mission or your dream or whatsoever you were calling it all this while will come true and you manage to change her to a better person.. and at the same teaching you to be a better person as well, just like everyone is trying to learn from their experiences in life.

at least, her wait will finally pay off...!!

2011- it's time to change

2011-01-22T21:21:00.000-08:00

it's a brand new year people!!! woot! woot! it has been 23 days into the new year, and things are looking great for me.. =)

as usual, since the last post that i posted in my blog, well, like i said, things had change for the better. how much better you might ask.. well, let's just say that what i hope for came true.

for those who still didn't know.. well, i am in LOVE... again!! the date to remember was 19th december 2010.. why that date was chosen was not a big deal, because at that moment, i felt that it is the right time for me to start a brand new experience with a brand new man of my life.

yes, since the last blogpost i've posted, things was like a rollercoaster ride...and the ride was not a smooth ride.. i could throw up anytime during that period.. lol.. not saying that i'm the most hottest or wanted girl for the guys, but i must say, i admit that i was not being a good one. i always said that i do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but yet, at the end of the day, i've hurt a lot of feelings. but, after awhile, i must say, that it is all for the best.

making a decision was a pretty tough one for me. too caught up with the idea of not hurting anyone had made me at the end of the day, the girl who breaks people'e heart. i apologize from the bottom of my heart for whatever things that i've done to any of them, but i just had to do what i have to do. for that few months(after my break with the ex) i was trying to please everyone, without thinking of what is best for me. taking too much time to finally noticed this had made it all worse. but at the end of the day. thank god, i finally did what i had to do. though there were some awkwardness to some individuals, but, we're working on it slowly. =)

the man in my life now is my priority right now.. and the weirdest part was that being with him had made me the person i was never before. he had truly open my doors to the things that i don't really show to people-my sensitive characters and all that. he had made me the girl who can open up and communicate and not run from any of my problems or our problems. he listens to every single thing i said, but the best part was he talks to me too, which is what i needed the most, a man who can talk to me.

and i know, he loves me for me, and even if there's part of me that i'm sure he dislikes, he'll try and talk to me about it.. but, at the end of the day, he still loves me.... *smile*

and seriously, i am hoping this will be the last person i will ever be with, cos i don't know if i can ever find anyone who understands me and accepts me better than he did..

people might say, oh, u guys are still new... everything is chirpy and happy.. wait till the next few months, and you will not what's in store for you. well, you know what... though it might be a very fresh relationship, we had our ups and downs. some problems are solved, but some are yet to get better, we're still working on it.. and i can say that i am ready to face anything that's coming on in the future... we will try to fight it, come what may!

so, 2011.. come and work with me so that the changes are for the better..

it's a new day.. it's a new dawn..it's a new life..

2010-08-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

well.. well..well.. hello people of the world!!! how are you people.. hihi.. notice i'm being very chirpy and there's no sign of sadness, heartbreak or anything right..?? ngehehehe...

well, damn right i am super happy about stuff.. as a matter of fact, i amsuper happy about everything i have in my life right now.. this is actually by far one of the most greatful ramadhan i've ever had.. hihi...

so, yeah, this post is about brand new spirit in life... people might be asking what happen after the last blog post... do i stop dancing with that man? or do i still dance to the same old tune? or do i finally take one of the guy's hands that was standing at the side..? well, my final answer will be... we're all dancing together to the beat.. confusing eh..? hehhe..

well, let's just say, me n the man that i love.. well, things didn't work out as plan.. were now dancing to a new beat, to a new tune... a surprising turn actually.. but you know what, i am glad that to say that we are finally friends.. yeap, we are back to being friends.. we've talked things through, i've said what i've wanted to say all this while, and he have said what he wanted(i think)..

seriously, our relationship right now is waaay better than what we had before.. no stress, no questioning myself what i did wrong and stuff like that.. stuff that gave stress to myself and the people around me.. some people might not get it, how can we turn into another beat in a split second.. well, let's just say, after talking to each other, i finally know what's our problem..

so, end up, the best way is to be friends, like how we used to be at this time last year.. hihii.. that was the best..!

so, yeah, i am back in the single market... i mean, i'm not that eager to look around.. but i don't mind meeting new people, and date around..i'm not into getting serious with anyone yet.. i mean, this is me talking right now.. can't predict what would happen later, right..? hihi...

so, people!! i am at the highest level of happiness right now.. by breaking up, i actualy didn't lose anything.. as a matter of fact, i got my friend back!! =)

-total eclipse of the heart-

2010-08-13T23:30:00.000-07:00

this have been going on this whole sem, i can say.. gosh, i can't believe how i manage to hold on to this for a few months now.. what is my problem, you may ask? but, all i can say is that i am in love.. and there's great possibilities that i am dancing on the dancefloor alone, without a partner, and i just didn't realise that, while all the rest of the audience can see and felt pity that i'm dancing alone..

even some of them step out and try to offer them their hands, but i just don't believe that i'm dancing alone, cos i can see him there.. he is right in front of me, dancing with me through this whole journey.. it's just that he didn't say anything, he just stood there, dancing, silently.. yes, there may be times when i did go and accept the other gentleman's hands.. but it's only for the sake of dancing.. cos even before the song is over, i'll be running back to you, and leaving them alone there, cluelessly standing there..

and i don't get it either.. at times, when i THINK i'm dancing with you, your eyes are not meeting mine.. your eyes are somewhere else.. somewhere out of the spotlight that's on us... it's too dark there, so i can't see who or what you're looking at.. but at times, i can see her coming over on the spotlight, with her red velvet dress, and her eyes are on you too.. and so i thought..

at times while we're on the dancefloor, somebody will come and whisper to me that he doesn't like the way i'm dancing.. so, i tried to change my moves.. but you don't seem to accept that too.. i smiled more, i tried to create conversations, but you're not responding well.. maybe i gave up too quickly on pleasing him with my dance moves... i need to practice more, but it seems like he doesn't care how much practice i have.. and so i thought...

i try to grab your attention, i'll dance more in front of you, just to grab your attention again, till i hurt myself, and i sprained my ankle.. i don't know if you realised it or not, cos your eyes are still not on me, and you didn't even bother asking about it..

a few hands take me away from you, they say i need to stop dancing.. it's just hurting you more, and it's not good for you.. and i listen to them, i stand by at the corner, just till my legs are ok again.. and i saw you there, still in the dancefloor, alone, or again.. and so i thought.. at times, i can see you are tired, i can see that you need your rest too, and at times, you fall right on the dancefloor.. oh, how i really feel like going in and get you back up.. be there when you're at your lowest point.. but i can't.. ego strikes.. and i addition to that, this people are slowly crowding you up, and all i can do is just stand there, while watching others help you on..

i tried calling you up, you looked at me, and gave me a smile... that smile.. that smile is enough for me to feel that i need to get back on the dancefloor.. and i did run back in.. and you're there... the spotlight is on you.... and i adore that so much...

but wait.... what is this..? there's another 2 spotlights beside him.. it hits on this two gentleman.. they have a mask on their faces, so, i don't really know who are this two guys.. who are they? i think that maybe i did dance with them once or twice before this, and i know they made me laugh a lot while we're dancing.. but why are they here..???

-THE END-

p/s : too much passion for dancing i must say.. hehe.. just to be clear, these are all my thoughts.. and it is only my judgment on what's running through his mind.. so, don't go blaming on him ok! =)

-chameleon-

2010-08-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

let me get this straight... i just kinda notice this in me.. cos i can slowly see it in me that i have this weird characteristics... i can say myself as a chameleon, yes, chameleon is this animal in the picture.. the one that can change it's color depending on the environment it's in.. if it's laying on a green grass, then it will change it's color to green, and so on..

so, why do i say that i am like a chameleon..? well, despite the laziness i have and a bigger lower body part than the rest of the body, i feel like my characteristics changes depending on the circle of friends i'm with..

so, why do i say that, i'll ask again.. well i realised that i treat people based on how they treat me, eventhough my heart don't really mean it that way.. sometimes, i feel like i have split personalities.. hehe.. ok, for instance, let's say, you are one caring person towards me, which means that you care about me, you always ask me about my whereabouts, what i like, what i don't like, or even telling me if there's something wrong with me, then i'll treat that person the same way. i ADAPT myself to that kind of characteristics. so, i'll be doing the same thing to that person.. i will show that i care, i will always ask if they are ok, and anything in between that.

and of course there are people who gives me a total opposite treatment.. texting me is not a frequent thing to do, asking me out is not something that you like to do, or showing that you care is an impossible thing for you to do, then i'll be doing the same thing to you too!! i'll try to ignore your existence (eventhough my heart wants to talk to you badly), i won't text you unless i need to (eventhough my hands wants to type your name and send a text message even if to say 'hi', and when there is a serious need to text you, i will be doing that in split seconds) and i would not ask you out ( eventhough my eyes wants to see you badly each day).. so yeah, if you are that kind of person, i will treat you that way..

i am super fine with that kind of chameleon characteristics i have until i realised that it is not making me super happy about it especially to someone that i really want to care badly.. i know that that person is not treating me well, and i can't blame him alone, cos i am doing the same thing too.. i might say that i try to work things out, but how hard did i try to work things out and get what i want..

yes, people say, JUST BE YOURSELF... but i am being myself.. THIS IS ME.. this is me with the chameleon characteristics.. i'm not trying to impress anybody at any time.. this is just who i am.. cos for me, different people needs different treatments and approaches to communicate with them.. but why NOW, i want to change that because of one person..? i will slowly sometimes put down my ego and my pride so that i can get a total different treatment that i really want badly..

so, how do i get this to him? to make him realised how badly i'm feeling inside.. how uneasy i am when i don't talk to you when you're right there in front of me.. how i wake up every morning hoping that i'll get a text message from him, even if that means that text message was from the previous night, but i just didn't realise it cos i was sleeping.. how restless i am thinking that whether i should cal u or not, if i'm in a big deep problem, and i need someone that can help me, but i'm just afraid to call you cos i'm scared that i will be another burden in your life or even bother you during that time..

so, can someone help me.. and guide me... tell me whether i should really change myself for this one person, or stay as i am...THE CHAMELEON

secrecy

2010-07-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

is there a single person who doesn't have at least a secret in life..? it's gonna be a total bullshit (mind my words) if they say so.. i mean, come on, everyone have secrets... but the difference are whether its a big one or a very small secret that if people finally found out, it's not gonna be a big deal.. but still.. secrets are still secrets right..?

why do people keep things a secret..? it must be because it's kind of a big deal to them right.. ok, ignore i said that there's small and big secrets.. every secret that people have in their life have its own degree of seriousness in it.. and coming back to my question.... why do we have secrets..? well, it might be because that you are ashamed of the thing that you're hiding, or you're scared that people might brag about that thing that you prefer to keep it a secret..it might also be because you're scared that when the thing you're trying to cover up are known by others, then you're gonna be in a big trouble... or it can also be because of you're trying to protect someone you love or you care dearly from getting hurt or anything like that..but, hey, not all secrets have negative vibes in it.. there's also good secrets.. for example, surprising your friend on his or her birthday, surprising your boyfriend/girlfriend with presents cos you just feel like surprising them, or surprising people for fun!

so, what type of secrets do YOU have the most..? the good ones or the bad ones..? it is all up to you what things or incidents that you feel best to keep it a secret.. some secrets are better off kept as a secret, and some secrets are giving ways and lights to others if you blurt it out..

you should think for yourself, ask your guts, whether which one is the best.. do not let the people you're trying to keep a secret from feel betrayed or left out or anything like that once they know the secrets from someone else, when they feel like the secret better off to be told..

for me, hmmm.. secrets are secrets.. i choose to keep it a secret, when i feel like it should be a secret.. but, if i feel like it's bringing more good to blurt it out to others, then i'll just tell it out.. however, if people keeping secrets from me.. and i finally find it out from someone else, then it's gonna hurt me very much inside.. cos i was hoping that person to be the person that i depend most on.. but once you are keeping secrets from me, and when it is obviously have so much to do with me, then i will feel...hmmm...not a very pleasant feeling i can tell you..
and i'll normally leave it like that.. if you are trying to keep it a secret from me, bt then, i end up finding it out from others, then, i'll let it be like that.. maybe that person has their own reasons why do that..

but when it comes to relationship, keeping things a secret, especially when it's not gonna be a secret anymore anytime soon, then i will feel hurt, a bit.. and i prefer to NOT know about that secret, cos it's obviously gonna hurt me more if i do know from others. that person might at least have a little bit of kindness to know that the thing that they're hiding from me, would hurt me at the end of the day...

Somebody said they saw you.

The person you were kissing wasn't me.

And I will never ask you.

I just kept it to myself.

(Chorus)

I don't wanna know

If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.

'cause my heart can't take it anymore.

and if you're creepin please don't let it show.

Oh baby, I don't want to know.

(0hhhh, baby.)

I think about it when I hold you.

When lookin' in your eyes - I can't believe.

I don't need to know the truth.

Baby, keep it to yourself.

(Chorus)

I don't wanna know.

If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.

'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.

and if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.

Oh baby, I don't want to know.

Did SHE touch you better than me? (Touch you better than me?)

Did SHE watch you fall asleep? (Watch you fall asleep, baby?)

Did SHE show you all those things? (0hhhh)

and the things you do to me (do to me, baby)

If you're better off that way,(Better off that way)

then it's more than I can say. (More than I can say)

If you want to do your thing,(Oh!)

Boy, then stay away from me.(Stay away from me, baby)

(P-Diddy)

I know when your where-abouts or how you movin'.

I know when you're in the house or when you crusin'.(uh-huh)

It's been proven - My love you abusin'.

I can't understand how a GIRL got you choosin'.

Undecided, I came and provided my,

Undivided, you came and denied it.(Why)

Don't even try it I know when you lyin'. (Don't even)

Don't even do that I know why you cryin'.

I'm not applyin no pressure,

I just want to let you know,

That I don't want to let you go.(I don't want to let you go)

And I don't want to let you leave.

Can't say I didn't let you breath.

Gave you extra cheese. (come on)

put you in a SUV.

You wanted ice - so I made you freeze.

Made you hot like the West Indies.(That's right)

NOW IT'S TIME YOU INVEST IN ME.

'Cause if not - then it's best you leave. (Holla, yeah)

(Mario Winans)
I don't wanna know.

If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.

'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.

And if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.

Oh baby, I don't want to know.

If you're playing me - Keep it on the low.

'Cause my heart can't take it anymore.

And if you're creepin', please, don't let it show.

(0hhhh baby)

I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

~MARIO WINANS - I DON'T WANNA KNOW~

-new phase-

2010-06-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

well..well.. this post is especially to a friend of mine who have always been asking me to update my blog n post on the latest story about my life.. what happened after the whole heartbreak thing... how am i been coping up with life? and who is the new BOYFIE i've been mentioning a lot of times on my twitter.. hihi..

ok, let's start on what happened after the whole heart break thing.. well, life was a bit hard for me actually. i guess u can see it from my previous posts where it was mostly about me emoing and stuff like that.. hehe..

after that whole dark spot in my life, i tried to get things right for myself, so i make new friends, i got closer to people who have been around me before this but i less care about..

it was okay at first, despite i still can't get over him before this.. but the situation was not to my liking because, without me doing anything wrong, there's people who still offered me their heart and soul.. ok, maybe that's too much.. but there were people who were showing their concern to me by offering me their hand..

who were the people.. well, let's just me and the people i'm referrig to knows about it.. cosif i'm gonna tell the story of every guy, oh, it's gonna be a super long one.. hehehe..

but seriously, i am very thankful for all these people who have ben very kind to me during the hard times i had.. and i am so sorry cos i just can't move on to another guy just like that. i need time, and you guys are the best at it.. you guys are the most patient people i've ever met..

but, i just can't let go of my past just like that cos i still believe in what i had.. ok, so, let's move on to another story.. if you want to know more about it than u just have to talk to me about it..

ok, anyways..... in this new life and new phase that i am in.... yes, i am happy with it.. and yes, i have moved on.. and yes, i am now in a relationship with someone right now.. and yes, it's gonna be a secret one... not many people might know about this...

heheh.. "who's the guy?" you might ask.. well, let's just say his someone from the past that i love dearly whom i've always believed is my soulmate, and the guy i wanna be married to... and i am so happy with what i have now.. and i thank god for my prayers have been answered.. =)

we are keeping this a secret from the public cos i don't know.. i don't want it to be jinx.. it's better if no one knows about us, and we'll keep it cool about it... when the right time comes, then we will reveal it to our friends.. but for now, only closed friends might know about us, or people who might've seen us together, but that is a very rare case for we seldom go out 'dating' like people always call it.. hehe...

for now, we are both trying to fix and patch up all the mistakes and our own attitude towards the relationship.. hopefully we're taking this more seriously than before..

oh, i think i've revealed too much.. but what i can say is my new boyfriend is not the same boyfriend i had in the past.. this man i love is a guy who i think are trying to make this relationship works and he is also someone who appreciates me more than the guy before this..

so, that's it.. that's all i can tell u.. it's a secret relationship that i have, and this one is a more colourful and vibrant relationship than the plain and effortless relationship i had before.. i love you, boyfie... eventhough right this moment i'm starting to get irritated for the fact that u didn't reply my text! hehe...

reminiscing..

2010-05-12T05:14:00.000-07:00

did u ever think 'MAN, TIME FLIES..' ? well, i'm sure everyone had thought about this before.. and it's something that is in my mind for quite sometime now..

i was cleaning up my room today.. oh speaking of which, FINALLY my room looks like a room now.. i'm back to being a real ANAK DARA now, who loves cleaning.. bahahaha..

ok, back to my story.. so, yeah, while cleaning up the room, i was like looking at the academic calendar that was stuck on the wall above my bed.. well, i love to write notes and highlights on important or great events that happened in my life for that one whole academic year... what i did? how's my studies? when's my midterm? events i'm involved in? important dates like birthdays, etc..

but the funniest was how i love counting days... hahahaha.. and if u read my previous posts, then u would know that i've been through 1050 days of single... i keep track on the days by writing down the days on the academic calendars... and of course after 1050 days of being single.. then i had 117 days of NOT being single, and now i'm already on my 59th day of being single again! and all these figures are all in one academic calendar.. bahahaha..

call me a freak or weirdo, but there's reasons why i love counting all these days.. when u count these days, u start to wonder what did u do every single day of your life... i would start wondering whether i've just wasted my time during that 1050, 117 and 59 days..

and see, how time flies... it's MAY now... this times last year, i had a totally different life....!! gosh!! how things have changed and how life had brought me into series of journey.... some makes me fly high and help me touch the beautiful rainbows, and some just pulled me down real hard till at one point, it's hard for me to get up...

but, that's life..!! and i know life will never stop teaching me and leave me experiencing all these different emotions and situations...

and now, as i am here in my hostel room for the last time since i'll be checking out tomorrow morning, wooahh!! i can't wait for a new semester and having a new room... haha.. look at me, i didn't go back home yet for this trimester break, and yet, i can't wait for next sem.. hahaha...

how u gonna fix it?

2010-05-01T05:48:00.000-07:00

it's that type of pain,

that you feel deep inside.

it's that type of pain,

that makes you pray,

that makes you cry.

but it's going to be alright one day,

this too shall pass.

sometimes you gotta go through the pain to experience the joy,

this too shall pass,

THIS TOO SHALL PASS..

-damaged by danity kane-

...SEPI....

2010-04-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

SEPI

Bisikku pada bulan,

Kembalikan temanku,

Kekasihku, Syurgaku.

Tanpa dia,

Malam menemaniku,

Sepi memelukku.

Bulan,

Jangan biar siang,

Biar alam ini kelam,

Biar ia sepi,

Sepertiku.

extracted from the movie SEPI..

the mystery of human being

2010-03-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

i've been wondering all this while about people at times. you see, human being are very complicated.. people might say girls are complicated and think far too much about stuff, but in reality, we are all like that.. whether ur a guy or a girl, a man or a woman, children, parents, whoever we are.

sometimes, when we watch drama series or movies, there are always this antagonist character which is so violent, or evil or just do whatever they want to do as long as they get what they want.. and have you ever wonder that all these characters, can it be true..??? could there be a normal human being who have this very negative energy around them.. well, after seeing a lot of dramas in my own family and others this past few months, i can now say that, there is such people who have this very evil mind...

and i think i can see it in my life as well.. it might not be THAT evil...not as evil as some other people in someone's life i know... but yeah, it's kinda weird how people think at times..

people might say that this person backstabbed me... but, i guess the fact that i don't see it with my own eyes(duh! it's call backstab.. if u see it, then it's not gonna be from the back right..??) so, i still can't say that this person had an intention to do so... but yeah, i know how this person is.. her character... and obviously, many people are starting to notice this..

but what can i do? i will be trying to avoid her, but somehow she's gonna be there... at the place where i am... gosh! all the love you gave to me, so it's only a lie, or it's your way to get into my way... haihh.. people are a mystery aren't they..??

never backed down...

2010-03-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

eventhough i can see that there's no way of turning back and be like how we were before, it's just what i feel.. i'm not gonna be putting my white flag up that easy.

i know you think that i shouldn't still love you

or tell you that

But if i didn't say it well i'd still have felt it

Where's the sense in that?

I promise i'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

But i will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above

I'm in love and always will be

I know i left too much mess and destruction

To come back again

And i caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of it's over

Then i'm sure that that makes sense

But i will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet which i'm sure we will

All that was there will be there still

I'll let it pass and hold my tongue

And you will think that i've moved on

I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship

And i won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be~

if....

2010-03-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

i thought i'm getting better, but the real fact is that i'm just in a much worse position.... my mind just can't stop thinking about all this... at times i'll be super chirpy.. then later i'll be super down...... i pity my friends the most.. cos i just can't stop talking about it... huhuhu

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Sempat terpikir 'tuk kembali

Walau beda akan ku jalani

Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Apakah sama yang kurasa

Ingin jumpa walau ada segan

Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu

Jika memang masih bisa

Mulutku berbicara

Santun kata yang ingin terucap

Kan ku dengar caci dan puji dirimu padaku

Kita masih muda

Dalam mencari keputusan

Maafkan daku ingin kembali

Seumpama ada jalan 'tuk kembali

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Tak ada niat untuk selamanya pergi

Jika teringat tentang dikau

Jauh dimata dekat di hati

Tak ada niat untuk berpisah denganmu

can i....????

dreams do come true... even if it's bad

2010-03-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

last week i dreamt of me breaking up with my boyfriend.. was a very scary one, and the thought of it gives me chills to the bone..

but, as i said, dreams do come true... even if it's nightmares... yes, we broke up..

am i sad? yes, of course... i cried like hell in front of my friends cos i was not expecting it at all...

the reason? it's something that just can't work if only one person is trying to work it out, while the other is not showing any sign of trying to work thing out..

what am i going to do? i don't know... guess i just have to let go all the things that i have planned for 'our' future.. but still don't know what to do with the pictures of us that i jus print out and framed..

are you guys ok? we're still friends.... but we'll see how it goes...

yes, i lied when i didn't cry and i was smiling the whole time... i want him so bad that it hurts me sooo..soo..deeply when i know that he doesn't feel the same way as i do...

guess the singlehood magnetic is too strong on me that i can't endure the relationship that i cherished and contributed the most...

black spot

2010-02-16T17:52:00.000-08:00

at first, i was meaning to write on the wonderful day of my valentine's day, but then something occured that just makes me change my mind... well, before i start, how was ur v-day! happy belated v-day everyone!!!! hihihi.. mine was just great! was in dungun n kuantan on that day, while my bf is in terengganu... that is a very nice v-day! lol.. it's no biggie actually considering that at last we text each other more often than before.. lol

anyways, back to the main story..... yes, while we were still happy and laughing a lot, there's of course some black holes started to interfere.. it was not a good one though.. it's a very..very black spot... isn't it funny how people can change just because there's some influence from other people..??

i remembered last time, when we're in secondary school, for bahasa melayu's essay, we would always have to write about 'Faktor-faktor kegiatan dadah semakin berleluasa' or 'Punca-punca remaja terlibat dengan gangsterisme' and what not.. and of course, one of the factor would be influenced by the peers. BUT, have you ever think that the worst thing that might happened to someone, or better yet, ruined two families apart might be because of the influenced of the parents itself..???

and who said parents can't influenced their kids..?? especially the OBEDIENT ones, who will only listents to their parents and their parents only..

i am not here to judge anyone, but it's something ridiculous to think about it. yes, it's not wrong to love and obey your parents, it's a very very good thing actually.. but when you're too obsessed with what your parents are saying, you neglect other people's feelings, and when you do that, then you are just not good in making decision about YOUR OWN LIFE, and keep depending on your parents to come out with the answers..

just put in a position where you are a grown man/woman, and you still depend on your parents choice of words to make it your own... isn't it bad..??? like i said again and again, it's not bad to obey your parents, but it's your life, you have your own say.. and you have to make your own decision.. if you have a problem with someone you talk to that someone, and settle it then.. you don't go and nag to your parents, and hope that the problem with that someone will solve that instant. tell that someone how u feel, then only u and that person can settle things out.

you just have to have a bigger scope in life cos you are just seeing things from a tiny mini telescope... GOD give u eyes to see, so use your eyes to see..!! if you use your eyes wisely you can see what's missing.. but, if you use that telescope 24/7 you will never see what's around you.. please don't be a boy or a girl, who loves their telescope a lot that they even have it by their side while sleeping.. now that's the real definition of being childish.. come on, people!! grow up! make your own decisions! if you are above 21, well definitely you need to start making your own decisions!!!

i do not write this to hurt anyone's feelings or to humiliate anyone.. it's just a thought that crosses my mind.. if i hurt anyone in any other way, wooahh trust me! we've been in a situation that is waaaaayyy worse than this... you can say i'm a bit harsh with my words, but this is not even a quarter of what i really wanted to write.. this is the best i can give you.. if you say this just humiliated you in any other way, well, suit yourself!! i didn't mention any names and i didn't point fingers.. so if you 'terasa' than it's not my problem, is it?

people, whatever you do follow your guts, and do what your guts tells you to do, cos that is somehow yor inner fortune-teller, and it's one way for GOD to tell you to make the right decision. and please...please..PLEASE.. make your own decisions in life... asking parents and friends' opinions are fine... but when it comes to making the final decision, it's your own choice...

THE ART OF LOVE

2010-01-25T20:19:00.000-08:00

I'm saying sorry in advance cause this won't always go to plan

Though we don't mean to take our love for granted

It's in our nature to forget what matters

How when the going is getting tough

And we're all about giving up

Things that we never thought we'd gonna say, gonna say them

Things that we never thought we'd play, gonna play them

It ain't perfect, but it's worth it

And it's always getting better

It's gonna take some time to get it right

Cause I'm still learning the art of love

I'm still trying to not mess up

So whenever I stumble let me know

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out for me

Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

If I forget to get the door

Remind you that you're beautiful

I know my detail requires more attention

If I ever hurt you it's not my intention

Cause we're gonna make our mistakes

Find out how much your heart can take

But I know that you got my back

And baby I got yours

Cause I'm still learning the art of love

I'm still trying to not mess up

So whenever I stumble let me know

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out for me

Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

Sometimes I'm gonna miss

I'm still learning how to give

I'm not giving up

I'm still learning how to love

Learning how to love...

Learning how to love

Cause I'm still learning the art of love

I'm still trying to not mess up

So whenever I stumble let me know

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out

You need to spell it out for me

Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

(The art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

Still trying to learn the art of love

Still learning, I'm still learning (art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

I'm gonna get it sometimes, cause I'm still learning

Still learning (art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

Still learning (art of love)

The art art of love

-Jordin Sparks & Guy Sebastian-

trust vs communication

2010-01-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

all these years, i've always thought that TRUST is the most important thing in a relationship.. without trust, everything else will fall apart.. without trust, the slightest and the smallest thing in the world can welcome a huge problem to that couple's life..

whenever my friends come to me and ask my opinion on their relationship problems, i've always said that, trust is the most important thing.. when they do not give 100% trust to their partner, suspicions starts rolling in, and thus, fight will occur in the relationship..

n till today, i've always believe in that theory.. and that is what i've gambled in my relationship right now... 100% if not more trust to my partner.. and that is why i've been seen as a very laid back gf, and sometimes people might think that i don't care about my bf, which was totally the opposite thing.. of course i care about him, but that is the way of me expressing it, by giving him the full freedom of what he wants to do and what he does not want to do..AS LONG AS he knows his priorities and also my status in his life..

but after today, i think i might have a different perception on the most important thing in one relationship.. instead of putting trust as the number one key to a healthy relationship, COMMUNICATION plays a significant role as well..

i think what i'm lacking now is communication.. when there's no communication, u keep on keeping in what you feel about certain things.. when you keep it in, when the same thing occur over and over again, u can't help but to feel like ur heart is swelling by the minute.. and i'm sure at one point, when u really can't take it, everything will be exploded and the world war history will come to live again..

not that you have to tell every single thing that you feel inside you.. there are things that you need to learn to give and take.. you can't expect our partner to be the most perfect person in the world, and so does your partner towards you.. there are things you can just let it go, and take it as his/her unique side, and there are things that you need to speak out when you know it might get worse later on..

and it will be even funnier and weird, when what you are feeling right now is also felt by your partner.. and you only knew on what he/she feels from a mutual friend of both of you.. it is just another proof that both of you are not communicating well.. so, SPEAK OUT, will you!!!

2010

2010-01-04T06:02:00.000-08:00

2010 is finally here, baby!!!! woot!woot! too bad didn't get to celebrate it in kl, because of kak nisa's wedding in terengganu on the 1st of january.. (congrats on ur wedding!!) well, for this new year, it would be great to have new resolutions for myself.. thinking back on last year's resolutions, well, yes, i did not fulfill the resolutions.. but it's for the best, and i have a better life when i did not fulfill the resolutions.. lol.. for this year, hmm.. i have a few of it.. and here it goes...

1. to stay loyal in the relationship i'm in.... *booboo*

2. to score better in exams.. n not take anything or granted in my studies..

3. to have the best n enjoying year of my life.. without forgettin my 2nd resolution..

4. try to lose a couple of pounds.. hihihi..

there's more points actually, but these are the main ones, n it should run through all year long... hoping that i won't be forgetting this..

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE!!!!!!

what happen in 6 months?

2009-12-30T06:25:00.000-08:00

well..well.. again, i went out and dissapear myself from any updates on my blog.. well, my blog is not that active anyways.. so, it's no biggie if i didn't update it right..?? n reading my last post, which was in june..wow! how things have changed since then!!! ahahahaha..

to start with, let's update what happen to BGB n AZ ya! BGB... hmm.. i didn't see him anymore ever since that incident at IKEA, don't know why.. i guess, that's just the way GOD wants me to move on with my life.. oh, i did saw him once.. once at oldtown, n that was when i discover that Taufiq is friends with him.. lol go figure! but who cares about him anymore, right..?? lol

anyways, my life starts to be more exciting ever since then.. a few months later, i started talking to this one ex-schoolmate of mine, or better said a senior of mine.. hmm.. let's call him SENIOR ya.. well, we started talking n messaging lik every single day, n true enough, i started to develop feelings for him.. i'm not gonna lie about that.. but people kept on telling me that i can find someone better than that... n i heard that alot! n of course, i started to have doubts on him.. thinking about the future n stuff.. not that i'm saying that he'll not have a reat future or anything, it's just that i'm afraid that i can't cope with my dreams that i have in the future, if we ever get together.. without me telling him about it, he started to grew apart.. but he's still there alright, but there's less conversation between us..

n i think the only reason we didn't get together or the reason why he still waited for the right moment to make it official between us is the fact thati was waiting for my 1000th day of singlehood... haha.. yeap! i counted my single days.. how's that? lol..

ok, coming back to the story, well.... when we started to grew apart little by little, there's this other guy who came along in my life.. at first, it was just a total fling, n i can totally sense that i guess.. let's not name him just yet ya cos it's gonna be a little more interesting later.. hihihi..

where did i meet him? well, he's also a dancer for SAKTI.. but you wanna know something weird..?? if u ask me to recall what can i remember about him during the festival tari, well, i can't remember anything about him.. seriously, i can't recall him in my memory.. lol.. like KEM said, he's my blindspot.. lol.. n we gre closer since the first sem 2nd year, after the midterm break.. n that was when we started flirting n stuff like that..

true enough, he sometimes text me, but i never really take that seriously.. but i started to feel about weird when he dun mind hanging out with me n my frens.. it's weird considering that a guy that ur jus getting to know would not mind hanging out with ur frens.. n then during his birthday, i did a surprise party for him, considering the fact that a week before that, he joined in the surprise party for kim misa n nurul..

n then, we started to get closer.. hanging out with him almost every night.. n that was when i started to get to know his frens too.. well, his frens are dancers to, so it's not that awkward hanging out with them..

there were time when i felt like, ok, maybe he's not that interested in me.. maybe he really is just flirting with me all this while.. so, there were times when i feel like, that's it! i'm soooo over him.. what's the point of waiting for a guy who is not showing signs that he wanted me the way i want him right.. but that was when he'll be even closer to me.. n yeah, i had lost to my own feelings, n yeah the feelings were developing even greater than before.. lol

but i know, that he's not gonna make our relationship official anytime soon.. so, i was just holding on the thoughts to myself.

n then, my birthday came along... at 12 a.m on 18th nov, which was my birthday, they made a surprise for me at buddies.. n that was when SENIOR came in the picture.. he came all the way to cyber, just to see me, n give me roses n chocs for me... how sweet is that.. n that made me a little bit restless after SENIOR went back, because i was hoping that the guy that i was liking would do something sweet for me.. bt then, it ended up, that SENIOR guy was making the move.. huhuhu..

HOWEVER..... after the surprise, when we were going back to the hostel, with only kem, me n that guy in the car, that guy told me that he wanted to talk to me n just hang out a little bit more with me before i went back to the hostel.. i'm so fine with it, because i can sense he wanted to tell me something even before we're going back to the hostel.. so, after sending off kem to the hostel, we head off to oldtown, only th two of us.. n that was around 4 in the morning.. i can sense that he was restless at the time.. but i was just keeping my cool, n i didn't say anything much.. hihi..

after almost one hour of being restless n me just keeping my cool,(lol), he blurted it out.. he wanted to make it official between us n he wanted to make me his special someone.. hihihihihiihihihhi.. n guess what's my answer is....

OF COURSE I'LL SAY YES!!!!!! hahahhaa.. but i jus didn't tell him directly, i wrote it on the oldtown ordering paper n gave it to him... hik2.. how sweet can i be..???? lol

so, yeah i can soooo name him now... he's my BOOBOO!!!!! hahaha.. finally we're officially together.. n after 1050 days of being single, i finally met my knight in shining armour @ hero @ edward cullen, whichever i prefer like calling.. lol..

of course i'm sooo totally into him!!! for me, the great thins about being with him is that we love each other n stuff, but we still have other responsibilities and things to do apart from being together.. that is the one thing that i was finding really hard in any guy that i met.. cos i'm not a clingy person, n i sooo do not want a clingy bf..so, yeah, he fits in perfectly... n I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH!! hihihi.. we've been on this road together for 1 month plus now, it's still a very raw n fresh relationships, so yeah everything is still sailing smoothly n hoping it'll stay like that.. ihihi..

n that's one of the best story to wrap up 2009.... eventhough it contradicts my 2009's resolution, which was to not go looking for a bf, but hey, i'm super..super..happy about it...

hoping that i will keep updating my blog from now on.. lol..

-the end-

LOVING U MY BOOBOO!(u know who u r) =)

trouble is a friend of mine! totally!!

2009-06-16T01:46:00.000-07:00

this was another incident that really hit my head pretty hard..

my sis and i went to watch JANGAN PANDANG BELAKANG CONGKAK, with two of my sis's friends; mamu n bob.. the movie was absolutely brilliant and fantastic.. it was super hillarious, and i couldn't stop laughing.. too bad it was not a full houe that day, cos it was a morning show.. cos if it was a full house i bet the people will go wild.. haihh.. bt seriously that movie was amazing.. what's with my favourite actor acted in that movie, shaheizy sam.. <3.. *sigh* lol..

the whole story was hilarious!! seriously, i think i don't mind watching it again and again.. so, if u people wanna go and watch that movie, count me in, k! lol

but, that's not what i wanna talked about.. it was what happened after the movie was the interesting part.. and it really ruined my happy moments after watching that show..

after the movie, we went to ikea, to eat at the food court place there.. oh, btw, we watched the movie at cineleisure, so it was just a walking distance to ikea..
so, we went there and had our lunch there.. pretty awesome foods too there in ikea.. hehehe..

after eating, we were just sitting around, talking..and talking.. and sometimes we will go n check out some hot hunks walking past, or just plain sighing when we saw couple who look cute together, with a baby.. oh, how adorable they look.. and that us start wondering, when will our time come to have that happiness.. huhuhu.. but that was not the worst part..

as we were still talking..and talking.. my eyes turned to this one couple walking in the food court.. my heart started pumping really hard, n my blood started to rush in like i really need it as my heart was pumping really hard..

then it hit me that i know that guy!!! he was BGB, walking with another girl into the food court.. then it hit me again, omg, he got a gf!!! or even if she wasn't his gf, i'm sure their totally on a date!

i was in total shock, as i saw them walking and wandering around looking for a place to sit cos it's pretty pack there.. and the whole time i couldn't stop looking at them.. gosh! that really hit me pretty hard..

if u guys couldn't recall who's this BGB, well he's a guy i always had my eyes on since first sem first year.. i don't mean to brag, but according to people around me, he got his eyes on me too.. i mean, just the stare and stuff.. yes, tell me i'm perasan, but that's what i just felt..

BGB had always been in my list, and most of the time, he's always been the only one in my list.. lol.. don't take me wrong here, not that i'm in love with him or whatever.. like i said before, girls are so complicated that having a guy that she can see each day is enough.. not to think about relationships or anything..

oh, nevermind, ignore that list thing.. people will start to think i'm some desperate psycho... lol

so, yeah, in a way, i got broken hearted twice in two weeks, during the two weeks holidays.. first was because of AZ and now BGB..

i have such a great life! trouble is a friend of mine..

so, now i'm trying to get off my hands with all this trouble.. no more having crushes and stuff like that.. ahahahaha..

dates..?? hmm.. i don't mind going on dates, but i'm not gonna hope for anything.. hehehehe

it's over!!

2009-06-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

this past couple of days have been the most nerve-wrecking, unthinkable, crazy days of my life.. it was a very crucial time for me as the results for my final exam, 3rd trimester, first year is coming out..

i was really nervous, cos i felt like i did not performed my best.. made a lot of mistakes in the papers, n some of it i didn't have any confidence at all in answering them..

really felt like i am going to sit for supplementary exam, but alhamdulillah, i passed all the papers.. n that's all i really need..

however, my cgpa dropped again.. from 3.5 to 3.46.. haihh.. it's been dropping each sem now, and it really freaks me out..

but oh well, i did my best i guess, knowing that i tried my best, n i studied really hard for this papers.. mayb i didn't aim that much, that's why i took it less seriously, than before.. huhuhu..

whatever it is, it's all been done, n i'm truly grateful for what i get.. n congrats to my sis too cos she is officially a graduate now!! woohoo!! congrats sis! will be waiting for 080809.. hehehe..

n i'm making a promise to myself that i will work even harder than ever next sem to increase back my cgpa n gpa.. hopefully i will not make it drop again.. n u guys r the witnesses to my promise here..

library n foyer, here i come!!!!! hehehehe

girls just wanna have fun

2009-06-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

a song that keeps my spirit up n makes me feel like having fun!

by :cindy lauper
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells what you gonna do with your life
Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
But girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have--

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls-- they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
Girls--they want to have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun,
They want to have fun,
They want to have fun...

deja vu

2009-06-01T04:42:00.000-07:00

my life especially yesterday was a total dejavu moment.. what is dejavu? deja vu is something that already happened in the past, but are happening it again today..
that is what i was experiencing yesterday, n a few days back..

ok, u know about that crush thing about AZ, well, he's in and out of my mind constantly, even when i was on my way to penang yesterday on a 2 days trip with my family there.. that itself, is a deja vu moment there, cos i had this crush on this one guy last time during school days that made me really out of my mind..

that night, i was just talking to my sister in the car, while waiting for my mom n my younger sis to buy some food for dinner.. can't remember how the issue was brought up, bt suddenly she said let's text him..

i was fooling around and gave my phone to her, without ever thinking that she really might do it.. and she did! and of course, i was hoping for him to reply it, i'd be lying if i don't!

but, he didn't reply it, which makes me even sadder thinking that he didn't want to reply my message.. ugghhh!!!! that part was a big bummer.. n i think i experienced that too last time..

and at last when we got back to the hotel room, i didn't checked my phone, until my sis had taken her bath, and he actually replied! woohoo..

n we text each other a few texts, but it felt totally like i was the guy doing all the getting to know part, and he's the girl, giving me all these answers.. the table has been turned and specifically MY table has been turned, of all the people's table.. hmmphhh..

and while texting him, i realised that i have that feeling at the exact same place as what i felt last time with my last ex..

cos last time, when i just got together with my last bf was when i was vacationing in penang with my family, and we stayed in this one suite in gurney hotel..
and yesterday, we also stayed in a suite there, which really reminded me of that geeky and bubbly feeling at that moment.. i am totally screwed!

you might think why am i feeling this way,if the last post i said was i don't feel anything about whatever is happening right now..

yes, i still don't mind about everything, but of course there will be part of me still thinks the 'what if...' situation..

what if...i try talking to him? what if..he actually likes me? what if..?what if..?what if...?what if..?

all these disturbed my feelin all day long, and i hate it, cos it's maing me weak, and i don't like that feeling cos i just got my strength..

if what happened in the past are actually gonna happened to me again, then i won't have any chances with him, and i'm gonna get heartbroken over again..
but this time, hopefully i have my sister and her friends to support me.. ehehehe..

stay strong, ME!!!!!!

how long a secret can stay a secret?

2009-05-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

well..well.. when i thought everything is over, and i'm fine with it, that is when everything starts to be clear and making its way...

remember about the crush i had with this guy i called anuar zain i think, or AZ, can't remmber which one.. hehe.. well, remember him? ok, let's recall, the last i heard was about him liking or having something going on with this girl that i know from somewhere..

so, the story goes on from there.. i know that i can get over this guy pretty easily cos maybe because i'm still at the early stage of liking him, and i didn't put any hopes on him at all, so letting him pass was a piece of cake..

but, something made me stay.. hehe.. yesterday, me n my sis, n a few of her classmates went on a trip to some place.. and some people said that AZ might be coming with his friends, and i don't really care.. but the rest of them were hoping that if he did plan to join them all, please don't bring 'that girl' along.. lol.. and who was the emotional people now.. hehee..

and only until late at night, when we planned to surprise one of my sis' classmates with some surprise belated birthday thing, he n his friends came too.. n lucky them(or maybe it should be lucky me) cos 'that girl' didn't come.. huhuhu.. and one of his close friend's gf are a friend of mine too.. so, we started talking..

until my sis thought of why not just spilling it out to them or that friend of mine.. cos AZ kept on asking her who's the girl that my sis talked about having a crush on him... and the funny part was, and it should be a red-faced moments when some of my sis' frens giving hints that are pretty obvious if you're a fast observer.. hehehe..

so, i told my fren about him, and she was shocked that she never thought that i will be liking him.. lol.. much surprise..?? hmm.. i don't know.. i guess so..
then, she said, it is somehow a bit too late now.. n she asked me why didn't i make any moves earlier.. but the thing is, i don't see the need of telling him, i don;t know why.. hehehe..

but the whole night, i didn't really bother about his existence there as i was busy taking people's pics all around.. heheh.. seriously, i didn't bother, and i didn't think of him much that night, eventhough he was right in front of me..
i think all the hints started to make him think about the possibility that the admirer was me, cos when sometime i turned aronf and met his eyes, i saw him looking at me... i think! lol..

ok, by the end of the night, my friend's bf whom is a close friend to him (like i said earlier) was also informed about the whole admiring thing and who the girl is.. lol..

so, the next day, on the way back to cyberjaya, one of his friend(another friend of his) carpooled us back.. and obviously, on the way back home, it was 80% conversation about him, and obviously after awhile he can guessed who the girl is*pointing at myself*.. lol..

and seriously, i don't care!!! lol.. so then we went to lunch, and supposedly he joined us, but he didn't cos he overslept or soemthing like that..

n when we finished eating, my sis called him to ask him something, and then she brought up about him not joining us for lunch.. and she said she thought of telling him who's the girl during lunch and she even brought the girl there.. lol..

he said after the friday's prayer he wanna meet up with them all to jus hang out or something like that..

before i said anything, i'm not nervous at all about him knowing it, because he had someone more important now, or that's what we thought, that for me, wethre he knows about it or not, it makes no difference.. and for me, the idea of meeting up with him, was not that interesting for me, cos i pity the friend who car pooled with us cos he wanted to go home, of course.. hehe..

but because of lack of sleep and we're super tired, at the end, me, mamu, and that friend slept at lin's place while she was buzy packing up.. lol..

and i didn't realise when, but my sis n lin went out and met up with him and talked about this..lol.. and my sis said he played with my MR DYDY.. lol..

and apart from that, yes the secret is no longer a secret cos he knew about it already now..

regrets..?? nervous..?? hmm.. i didn't know what i should feel.. i didn't feel anything actually.. i seriously don;t know why.. we even went out for a movie after that sort-of-confession by my sis about me to him..

went to watch terminator salvation, but we went in earlier and our seats are one row behind their row( he n his friends).. oh, n guess what.?? he bought 'that gir;' too!! hahaha.. n mamu was super furious..

he was not focus watchin the show, cos he kept on checking the two of them.. lol.. and i was minding my own business, watcing that movie peacefully, withoug even thinking about him.. lol..

and the best part was the part when we went out after one hour of the show.. ahahahaha.. firstly, because mamu couldn't stand looking at the 2 of them, eventhough they're not doing anything... and secondly, my sis was not njoying the movie too.. plus, we need to get home, cos it's getting late and we were having some family dinner tonight..

so, i don't mind anything.. and it never hit me that that miht be the last time i will see him again, cos they're graduating now.. hmmm.. so, what should i be feeling..?? sad..?? happy..?? nervous..??? but the real thing is, i'm not feeling anything.. lol

GOOD LUCK NIK AQILAH

2009-05-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

have u ever watched a movie called GOOD LUCK CHUCK? well, i'm sure u guys did!

nope, i'm not talking about that movie, nor am i saying that i just watched that movie. i wanna talk about the synopsis of the movie, and to be exact, about the CHUCK's character.. (n surely when i say chuck, ppl will be reminded by chuck as in gossip girl chuck!)

in that movie, chuck is a guy who is some sort of cursed. the curse was every girl that he ever slept with, will end up finding or meeting their soulmates right after that.. i feel that character is sooo totally like me at this moment, minus, the sleeping part of course! lol..

but in my case, the guys only need me to like him or him liking me, n VOILA! u'll get yourself a soulmate or a new gf after that... it's proven and i have a record for that.. can't recall how many guys have succeeded in getting the girl of their dreams, indirectly because of me.. i know a few of them, and i'm sure that there's also a few of them that i don't know..

u know why? i've realised this this past few months.. ever since schooldays, if i like someone, or i get together with someone, when we broke off or i rejected him, or in some cases, i got rejected (boohoo me.. lol), after that, in less than a year since that day, he will ultimately find the girl of his dreams.. yeap, n no one thanked me for that! imagine if i continue liking him or we continue our relationship, u will never meet that girl! pfft!

n now, i know it's coming back to me again.. cos in this past one month plus, the guy that i used to like, or the guy that i like currently had just go together with a girl.. ok, the guy that i used to like, got together with a girl.. the guy that i currenlty like, is actually getting to know this one girl.. unbelievable, how good am i! the guy that i'm liking now, naming, anuar zain that i used to mention before this, is currently getting to know a girl! can u believe, he didn't have a gf, or even had a cruch on any girl before this, and suddenly taraa!! he is getting to know this one girl.. and i'm sure once i get over him perfectly, they'll be together.. woohoo!! (haihh) lol..

i'm neither heartbroken, nor sad.. i feel free in a way.. free from this list of guys that me n reena created, which none of them really do exist in my life.. lol..

so, guys out there, if u want to fnd your soulmate, come n look for me.. play around with my heart, n u'll get urself a brand new girl, whom she can be ur perfect wife in the future! yeay! any heartbroken incidents that occurs r no one to be at fault, n it can be mended by itself..

hmmm.. maybe i should start charging this people, cos my heart will surely be damaged when there's so many guys around.. hmmm..

a week to remember

2009-05-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

i'll start off this time with a long sigh.. *siiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhh*..
it's been a very..very..long week for me.. been studying in the library this whole week.. (really..?? study..?? lol).. well, a part from studying of course there's some reason for it.. lol

yes, like i told u guys before about this "anuar zain" guy.. well, i guess, today is the last day for me to see him in campus anymore.. cos he'll be graduating after this.. *sob*sob*.. i don't know just feel like it.. i just feel like i'm not gonna see him anymore.. enough of seeing him every day at the library, but now... *sigh*

i'm neither sad nor happy.. but i don't know.. it felt like the old days again.. when i will have this crush on someone, and normally the crush will occur when i know we will end up going our own separate ways.. like during school time.. i had this so-called get to knwo this guy a few weeks before i'm leaving penang to go back schooling in kl.. n at the end of form 5, i have this huge crush on this guy, and we went our own separate ways after we grad high school.. same goes to foundation year, when i have another huge crush on this one guy, and now, we still see each other around, but not as frequent as last time, and the feelings are obviously over...

and now, right this moment.. why am i in this position over and over again.. i hate to feel this, and i was scared that i will feel like this at the end of the day, eventhough when it started off, it's just a fooling around thng with my sister.. gosh! why did i jump into that mud and got stuck in it alone..???

wait..wait.. let me get this straight.. like i said, i'm not sad, and of course i'm not in a big desperation.. its not to the level of me feeling like crying or whatsoever.. just feel like, well.. there goes my chance of knowing another great guy..

oh, didn't i tell u.. almost half of my sister's classmates know about this so-called crush thing.. well, it's not obvious, but it somehow slip, and voila! everyone knows about it, but him.. ngeh3..

i think for now, what i really wanna say to him is that thank you for making this past few weeks a great one for me.. not great as in like we hang out or anything like that.. but, thanks for making me laugh around, and feel excited about seeing him around.. never felt that for quite some time now, since bgb.. lol..

ok, i've had enough of this melodrama thing.. bac to normal life... ~grrrrrr~

ku ku i i i...kau kau you you you!

2009-05-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

something sweet happened this week for me.. so, in a way it's a sweet scene for me this week.. get it..?? sweetsourscene..?? sweet scene..?? oh, forget it! lol..
what's happening..?? hmm.. i don't know where to start but i'm feeling like my real true self are coming and coming out bit by bit.. n i'm loving it..!!

haha.. all this while, i was busy searching for it, but i didn't realise that all this while i was actually searching it in the dark.. never thought of looking for the light.. but now, i've found the switch to turned it on, so i'm back baby!!! hahaha..

ok..ok.. what the hell am i feeling right now, would be ur ultimate question.. i'm feeling rather happy cos at least i know how my life are slowly leading me to.. ok..ok.. there's a guy in particular of course.. hihihihi.. i shy la!! lol.. when i saw him the first time, i thought to myself, hmm.. he's kinda cute.. and that's it.. never thought of anything more, bcos normally all this cute guys will definitely have a gf or someone special.. just like how people thought i have someone special in my life when all this while i'm open for everyone.. lol..

however, it turned out that he IS SINGLE.. of course, i found it out from his classmate.. hehehe.. so, ever since then, i always love to disturb and make this classmate's of his life with all my obsession towards him.. lol.. ok..ok.. let's give him a name.. let's call him ANUAR ZAIN or zain.. ok..ok.. i know it's a bit cliche to hear this.. i have another name for him actually, but i think, that name is starting to get pretty obvious each day.. lol..

anyway, to get things clear, i'm not that into him, ok! it's just a way of getting in the nerves of his classmate that i know, and of course simply to put colours in my life.. and that classmate of his told a few of her friends, so, yeah, it's no secret to some people.. hahaha.. but it's good actually.. at least i can have more fun fooling around.. hahaha..

and there are times when these other friends helped me out to get to know him more.. ok, maybe not to get to know him more, just simply making him notice my existence.. hehehe..

and actually, this ffoling around thing with zain actually helped me boost up my confidence to look straight in BGB's eyes and gie him the smile.. hahaha.. wait, u'll be wondering who's BGB now.. i'm not sure if i ever talked about him before, but this guy is actually a guy that i know since the first day of class in cyberjaya campus.. ok, not really know him.. we've been introduced that one time, and that's it.. but the thing is, when we were introduced, i didn't get his name! and that's why BGB came in.. where did i get the name, don't ask me! ask reena! she came out with it..

so, yeah, practically since the first sem, we saw each other alot around campus, especially at the library.. hihihi.. but we never actually talked to each other.. it's this MALU TAPI MAHU situtation where u want it, but ur shy to make the first move.. hahaha.. but it's actually funny cos i can't look at him directly in the eyes, and i'm not sure about his side.. and i don't mean to brag or perasan, but i sensed something there between us, but we never did anything.. hehehe..

so, yea, back to the zain story.. when i managed to talk to zain, which is kinda cool cos i didn't blush or anything.. what am i saying..?? it's a good sign actually that i'm not blushing cos the whole thing will be screwed if i ever blush at that particular time.. hehehe..

so, after talking to zain, i saw bgb.. i don't know where i found it, but, i found my confidence to look at him and maybe smiled at him.. a friendly smile is enough right..?? lol.. this is again reena's fault.. well, anything to do with bgb will only involve reena cos she's the reason any of this happening.. hahah..

so, yeah, i tried looking to his eyes, but his not keeping his gaze, so, i did my part actually!!! hahahhaa.. and i even smiled.. hahaha.. ok..ok..stop with this nonsense now..

practically, what i wanna say is that, i'm not currently looking for a serious relationship.. maybe in the future.. maybe even tomorrow.. just going with the flow.. it's more fun like that.. it's like watching movies, u can't wait for what's gnna happen next till it come to the ending.. hihihi..

i'm not hoping for a happy ending from any of the guys in my life, wether it's bgb, zain, or a few other guys that come along the way.. it's all the GOD's work and i leave it up everything to HIM to make me help with my life..

like my friends were saying, i'm keeping my options open.. whoever comes first and capture my heart, then i'll be all theirs.. but if they think that i'll keep on waiting..and waiting.. well, u can dream on.. cos i fall fast, and i get up fast.. if ure late, then bye bye for getting my heart, and hello, for being a new friend..

oh, a friendly reminder to some guys.. do not ask me what u should do.. do just what u want and feel right, cos that will make me feel appreciated more than asking me if i'm ok with every single thing do every single time..
ehehehhee..
ok, really need to study for finals now.. never thought that i'll open up about this issue here right now, when i wanna have my exams in less than a week!! gaaaahh!!!

prom 09

2009-05-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

now, the next post would be about prom night, which was 2 days after my performance for festival tari.. yes, it was one hectic week for me, thank u!! hehe..

ok, right back to the prom.. i went there with reena, my sis( which she actually should be sitting with her friends, seriously!), nitasha, martin n ivan.. rema n arun were there too, but they sat at a drifferent table.. =(

started off with getting our hair ready at a salon in summit.. it was a very interesting one, because the guy who did our hair is actually a proffesional hairdresser, and he did a lot of famous local celebrities' hair.. ooo.. i like.. it's like i'm a very famous person all of a sudden.. hehe..
i didn't do much with my hair except for straightening it.. hihi..

not a very good picture of me actually, but the important thing is the hair.. hehe

after getting our hair done, me n my sis went to reena's house to get ready.. it was pretty late actually cos what's with the traffic jam around 6 in subang.. OMG!! luckily we made it on time.. n luckily we managed to get ready on time..

funny thing atreena's place was when we're leaving.. there's some relatives at her place, and when we went down, everyone was saying they all look good and stuff like that.. it felt really like prom night, where ur parents were vey proud of their daughter or son going to go for prom,and taking pics and all.. haha.. don't get me wrong.. it was a good feeling.. hehehe...

and then when we arrived there, people started to register theirselves at the counter, and acir helped us with the registration thing, cos the event was about to start...

me n ivan, oh with reena at the back.. people say if reena was not at the back it will be a great pic.. lol.. sorry reena.. =p

martin got lucky that night.. lol.. JK!!

and when we went in, we get in our seats.. too bad nits and martin was at a different table from us, which was right behind us.. huhuhu.. but, luckily, there's two empty seats at our table, so they join in our table.. yeay!!! muahahah..

so, then it's time for food.. they served chinese food, which was superb.. the food was awesome.. but too bad we were not really into eating that night.. of course, it's prom, baby!! we wanna dance.. lol

AWESOME FOOD!!!!!!

oh there's this one time, a band, i can't recall what they are called, but they were playing dancing in the moonlight.. and that was my all time favourite song, seriously!!!! everytime i listened to that song, i can get butterflies.. hahaha.. so, me n ivan was super excited listening that song,and so ivan suggested that we go to the dance floor and dance.. screw the food! lol

and it was awesome.. the feeling at that time.. not really good in ballroom dancing and stuff like that, but what the heck.. luckily not many people were watching.. hehe..

after that song, we got back to our seats, and the wole night was more about taking pics and less of eating.. hahaha..

ok, so here's some of my favourite shots during that event..

us girls~ looking deliciously gorgeous... lol..

us~loving this pic cos it looks like some CK ad campaign.. hmmm.. and some say it can be a cover album for our band.. haha...dream on! ~edited by ivan

another CK ad campaign, perhaps..?? lol..

overall, the whole night was an awesome night.. went to MOS after the prom, cos we got free access tickets.. woohoo..
so, the place were filled with mmu students wearing dresses, coats, shirts, and evrything formal.. lol..
one great night.. thanks to my sis, nits,reena, martin, ivan, rema, arun, acir, losh and everyone i know there.. thanks for being there and make this fun event even more exciting.. =)

blog updated =p

2009-05-10T06:31:00.001-07:00

phewww.. do u know how hard it is for me toupdate this blog.. the first time i wrote it, i don't know how, it was not posted.. darn!! ok, whatever.. let's star all over gaain, ok! starting off with the events i was apart of last few weeks.. it started off with the FESTIVAL TARI PIALA TUN DR SITI HASMAH, which was a traditional dance competition among five universities, and mmu was the host for the event.. me n a few of new and senior mmu dancers was involved in the opening and closing act for the event.. the opening act was a combination of several traditional dance element in it.. there's a bit of zapin, renek, and some other dance element..

me with the costume.. yeap, it was way bigger than my size.. lol..

and then, after the opening act, we straight away went to the backstage to get ready for our closing perfromances.. yeap, it sounded like it's a long way to go, and surely we'll be ready by then.. but we didn't know how, but we ended up in a very hectic situation backstage.. what's with getting the guys ready, and helping each other with the costume.. phewww.. and if u were there, and if u notice, i left out some accessories that i was supposed to wear on my wrist and on my arms.. lol.. and the selendang that i used was a red colour one, instead of a yellow coloured one.. i couldn't find the yellow coloured one.. surely someone took it, cos kak aireen put the selendang on each chair for each dancers.. luckily i managed to find the red one, so, heck with it,just use it.. lol

but seriously, the last performance was a great one for me, i think.. what's with the support from the audiences, whom are mainly mmu students, so, surely they supported us.. hehe.. oh, i didn't mention, the last performance was a javanese dance, so there's a lot of booty shaking and what not... hahaha.. no wonder we got a huge applause from the audience.. but seriously now i understand when people said u can take the energy from the audience when ur performing.. it's true! when people was applauding us, we're more energetic to perform, and so, we performed the best among the best during the practices..

so, here's a few pictures of me after the performances.. during the performances pictures, i don't have.. i have the vids, but i have some difficulties uploading it here, so just go throught the pics, ya!!

me n kim after the whole event

nisa, kim, me n nini.. two of our audiences.. lol

reena, derryck,iffa n rema.. thanx for the support! eventho i dun brag about the event too much to u guys.. hihihihi..

me n my sis.. ngeeeeee!!!

oh, almost forgot the final pose for the closing performance!!!! love it!!!!! =)

and this will be my favourite picture of all of us.. well, not all of us really, cos there's some missed outs here.. huhuhu..

i hope this will not be too late to say but thanx evryone for coming and all the committees who did a great job..
thanx to the people right from my classmates to the people who are never in my class..
from my closest friends to the people whom i barely know..
and to my sister, to my sister's friends..

eventhough u guys didn't come for me in particular but thanks for the support for your other friends.. hihihi..

3..2..1.. doze off!!!

2009-04-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

this week is another tiring week for me.. what's with the training every single day.. n today, saturday... we had practice since morning till tonight.. and there's a lot more to come tomorrow n the day after that.. of course we had some breaks for a few hours here and there, but still, it's very..very tiring!!!

and yesterday, yo and mira, my favourite little cousins of all time came and stay over at my place.. didn't had the chance to see them at all.. or mayb just this morning, before i'm leaving back to cyberjaya.. and i didn't said anything to him, i just smiled..!! huhuhu.. i know it's weird, but both of them are like the closest cousins i've ever had.. i'm not close to other cousins, the grown-ups to be specifc. don't ask me why, cos i don't have the answers.. i think i communicate better with children than grown-ups.. hmmm... my sister told me, when they just arrived at my place on thursday night, the first thing that yo did when he entered the house was 'where's qilah?' awwww.. how sweet is that?? me n my sis really wished that yo will never grow bigger, cos he's the sweetest thing i've ever had, and i don't want to lose that just yet.. so, stay small, yo!! hehe

i've had to sacrifice my YO =p for the festival tari.. i'm not complaining at all, but it's just very tiring.. and yeah, it's good though the practice is evryday, at least we can sharpened up the steps cos some of us still couldn't get it perfectly(not saying that i'm perfect.. i might just be one of them too).. plus, with the pratice, at least i worked out, keep on sweating.. and sweating..and sweating.. hehe..and the good news is i'm actually working out doing what i love best.. DANCING!! hihii.. well, if u really know me, u'll know i LOVE to dance...!!!

omg.. my visions are getting blurrer and blurrer as i'm typing this.. super sleepy!!! ok, now, i better say bye now, before i'm out.. bye! 3..2..1..zzzzzzzz...!!!!!

shhh.. JANGAN TEGUR! L.O.L

2009-04-15T00:31:00.000-07:00

yesterday, me n several classmates of mine went and watched jangan tegur.. it was nisa n my idea to watch that movie at first, so, we planned to go yesterday.. and then, it seemed like there's people who can't make it, so, we thought of going to watch it today..supposedly! but, i'm not sure how, but at last we made the decision to watch it yesterday evening, 4 pm show in alamanda..

me n nini arrived there around 3.45, 15 minutes before the show started, but the rest; nisa, nurul, alyp and zainal came a bit later.. the definition of later here is 4.15.. or mayb it was 4.20.. haha.. so, the movie already started.. they were late due to some difficulties =p, so we waited for them outside.. so, when we went in, the movie, obviously already started.. and it had to be the part where the whole theatre was very quiet.. it's an obvious indication that 'something' will appear anytime soon.. i didn't look up the screen, cos we were still looking for our seats.. ok, before anything, let me get this straight... the placing when we were walking down the stairs was nurul, nini, me, nisa, n alyp, while zainal was buying some food outside.. please note the placing i've given earlier, ok!

when nurul got to the line where we were suppose to seat, and we were trying to walk in to our seats, all of a sudden the silence was broken with the sound of something appearing on the screen.. and when i want to get in the seats, out of nowhere, alyp was right in front of me, practically screaming, and straight away sat at one of the seats, and was actually seating real low, u know, how when people are afraid to watch scary movies or stuff like that, they tend to move lower and lower, and taking up his shirt to close their eyes?? that exactly what he did!!!! and, the most confusing part was when did he cut in the line, and sat at the seat.. haha.. i wasn't seating yet, and beside alyp and nini(nini and nurul had their seats) so, nisa and i asked him to move in, because there won't be enough seat later when zainal coming in.. he didn't want to move, so i had to walk pass him, and sat between nini and alyp.. that was super funny!!! i was actually laughing, eventhough the movie was actually showing some 'figures with long hair' or something like that, i didn't realy see it cos i was still surprised and i still can't get over the whole scene that happened before that..

during the show, when 'ghosts' are coming out, he was saying all this word in a lot of different dialect.. he spoke kelantanese dialect, a lil bit of kedah, and some other dialects.. and i was like thinking to myself, since when he's a kelantanese..?? hahaha.. i don't know him that well, but i know enough that he's not a kelantanese.. hehe..

n with nini beside me, the one who was so doubtful of coming or not to watch the show, it was like a roller coaster ride..seriously.. with all the screaming, i really felt like i was on the roller coaster ride that i had in sunway lagoon with my friends a few months back.. hahahahah.. i'm not lying.. and what with the 'advices' given by her to the main character in the movie, when the heroin was trying to be brave enough to go and follow the sound of people crying and stuff like that.. she literally said 'JANGAN!JANGAN!' out loud, which i'm sure most of the people in the hall, could hear her clearly.. i had to elbow her to stop her from doing that, cos she just didn't realised she's doing that.. hahaha!

ok..ok.. enough of the funny scenes happened, let's get back to talking about the movie.. hmmmm.. i think it was a great movie, by one of my favourite actor turned director who did a great job in making the audience nervous waiting for the ghosts to appear.. hehe.. i must say, between jangan pandang belakang and jangan tegur, i think i prefer jangan tegur, cos it looks more surreal.. hmmm.. how can i put it..?? this movie was making me feel uncomfortable seating on my seat.. there, did i say it right..?? well, it something like that.. i'm not saying it was super scary, but it scared me a lot.. eventhough u know it's coming, it was torturing to wait for the thing to come and just attack the heroin, but it will all come so sudden, that you feel like u wanted to scream.. hehe.. so, credit to the director, actors, people behind the scene in this movie.. everyone did a great job!! woohoo.. hahaha.. so, who said malay movie are not good enough..?? it's just that they need to be given oppotunitites, and make sure that the scriot and the director and everyone in the production team are great people who can work together and produce a movie which can be a big hit..

ok, so after the movie have ended, we went out and practically laughing all the way to the toilet thinking back how WE all are making fun of ourselves.. hahaha..
and that was when i found out that, when nini wanted to get ot her seat, which was the same time as when the ghost or whatever it was (i wasn't looking, remember??), she fell down under the seats and tried to get back up again.. haha.. just imagine, u fell from your seats in the movie for no concrete reason.. meaning like, out of the blue, u fell down flat on the ground.. it's not like anyone pushed u,or something like that....riggghhhhttt...?? hmmmm.. haha..

ok..ok.. so overall, the movie was a great one, in my opinion.. it cna be funny at times, but well, if ure in that situation, u won't be aughing at all would you..??

oh, and yeah, i almost forgot.. i went for the prom queen photshoot last night.. it was only two shots session, so after about 10 or 15 minutes, we're out of that place.. heheh.. and they're going to tell the results who wll be shortlisted to actually be voted for the prom queen this friday.. hmm.. not hopinh for anything.. if it works, it works.. if it's not i'll still have fun at the prom!

another awesome malay movie..

2009-04-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

i just got back home from cyber this morning, and suddenly i felt like watching a malay movie called SELAMAT PAGI CINTA.. in this movie, there's two different stories in it.. one is about ilham n julia (played by fazura n pierre andrea-which are my favourite actor n actress in a movie together!).. how they met was the best.. both of them wanted to buy the same book but, there's only one book left, and both of them, wanted to take that book at the same time.. sounds a lil bit cliche right..?? bt then, ilham said that whoever gets the book must treat the other one with a drink.. so, he took the book, and he treat her for a coffee at some stall.. then they saw some people roller blading.. julia said she didn't roller blade for quite sometime now, so he take her rollerblading that instant.. there was of course hesitation from ilham, cos they just met and you're doing all this..?? it's not like ur on a date or something, it's just some accidental meet up.. but he insisted, so they went on roller blading.. after that, he asked for her number, and she said she doesn't give numbers to people that she barely know( which is so like me! =p).. and then she said, if both of them meant to meet again, she'll give her number then.. ok, somehow, he managed to get his number cos they meant for each other..i will not tell the whole story here, because it's too long, but i'll skip to the proposal part, and that was a day after they met up earlier just now! he said, he wants to marry her cos he feels he had found the right one for him, and that is her.. he's afraid that he might lose her again (because of some reason during the night in the movie) so, for that reason, he wants to marry her.. he borrowed a coin from some guy there, and he said he'll flip the coin 3 times and if it shows the tail, then, she must marry him.. and guess what..?? yeap, bulls eye..! they were meant to be together.. ok, the way i narrate it here might sound a bit tacky, but, when i watched that movie, *sigh* that was what i was waiting for all this while.. believing that when the right person come, there will be a lot of ways that will somehow make us stay together.. hehehe.. and the rest of the story...ummm... i won't tell.. there's a lot to it after that, but if you wanna know watched it yourself! hehe

the other story is about suci and azam, played by sharifah amani, and que haidar.. it's a story about 2 college students who had alwasy like each other, but they never said anything.. so, azam one day, made the move and ask her out.. they went out and he told her that he is more than just liking her..closer to love, he said.. (awwwww...) there are some conflict between them, which i can;t say either.. hihi.. sorry la! if u wanna watch that movie, just tell me, i'll pass it to u k! hahaha..

but, yeah one superb movie, especially the first story cos i feel like it's closer to me in away.. cos like i said earlier, and i said to a lot of people who had always been asking me about guys, and why am i still single, and why i said no to a few guys and stuff.. cos i am just waiting for the right guy, i figured that out this new year, after a lot of doubting and questioning and feeling depressed(yes, i admit i was depressed at the end of last year..haha!). i believe that when the right guy turns up, i'll know it that instant.. and even if i don't know it instantly, there will be away sooner or later than that that i realise that he's the one for me.. get it..?? i believe in destiny, so, i'll just follow where it is bringing me.. so, right now, i'm still waiting for the right guy, whom i don't know yet.. it can be someone far from me, or it can't also be a guy that i've known since i was small.. who knew??? so, don't ask me all thos questions again, ok!

EXHAUSTED is my middle name

2009-04-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

aaaaaaaggggghhhh..!! super exhausting week i had this week.. what's with 3 midterm papers this week, and with dance practice.. and what's with my french assignment, that i only knew the date of submission 3 days before the dateline.. and my partner for the assignment didn't know about it too..!! hahaha.. luckily i actually remembered to check the due date in mmls on monday.. oh well, it's not that hard considering it's just writing an essay about your hometown.. hehe..

midterms was hardcore moments.. monday macroeconomics, wednesday managerial accounting, n thursday acounting information system.. phewww..!! the papers are actually not that bad, but like always, i never put high hopes on any exams or tests or quizzes i did before this.. it's good enough that i know that i tried my best.. hihihi.. the scariest paper was AIS.. cos we had to do the midterm in the computer lab, cos we need to use this one accounting software.. that was very nerve wrecking, cos me + computer subjects... never goes well.. i'll end up panicking and stuff,even if it's tutorial.. haha.. but, luckily i managed to do it.. not sure of the answers, but, yeah like i said, i tried my best.. thanks to kim cos she helped me the night before that.. suddenly i was super blur that night, and she managed to help me to go through the blur moments.. hahaha.. oh, n nisa too.. cos we were practically discussing how to do the questions online.. haha..

just hope i did all the paper well enough.. well enough that it will help my results during finals, and also well enough to not make me feel proud and feel i'm good with that subject, that will make me end up not doing good during finals..

now, all the midterms over, it's time for assignments!! oh no!! and this weekend, i had a lot of stuff i need to do..
get prom dress, accesories, shoes and everything i need.. oh, did i mention that i was voted as prom queen.. haha.. don't think anyone will vote for me!! haha.. all the nominees need to go for a photoshoot this monday in campus.. so, i need to thin carefully what i should wear.. hahaha..
n what's with the hard core dance practice, cos the performance day are getting nearer and nearer.. can't wait for it actually.. hihihi..

oh, wait assignments!! aahhh, i'll start doing it next week.. hahaha.. that is sooo typical me..!! *sigh*

it's a new day, it's a new life

2009-04-07T00:55:00.000-07:00

last week, hmm.. it's pretty rough for some people who are close to me.. i don't know why, but there's a lot of stuff going on last week.. first, khairul, one of my closest guy friends in school text me and said that his dad was admitted to the hospital and right now in a very bad condition.. for the past few years of knowing him, i'm a ware that his dad had some heart problems.. and his dad went through several surgeries before this too.. so, it's not an all of a sudden issue.. bt it was sad to hear that someone's dad, who is very close to me, was actually lying on the bed and is hoping for the best thing to happen.. well, k-rul, hope ur dad will be fit in no time, n hope u n ur family stay strong going through this hardship..

and that's not it, a few days later, i received a text message from another close friend of mine whom i know since primary school, that her dad had passed away on friday.. now that was a big shocker because before this she never said anything about his dad being sick or whatsoever, probably because i haven't seen her around for awhile.. i felt really bad for not going to her house and expressed my condolences personally to the family, but i'm short of time on doing so, cos there's a lot of stuff going on last weekend.. to shah, my biggest condolences goes to out to you and your family.. stay strong girl, cos i know you are..

well, last week ended up pretty gloomy too for some people in my family.. my cousin, who was one of the closest to my family, especially my sis and my dad, had a big tragedy happened.. i don't know how to put it to not offend anyone, but it was a huge break-up.. well, it's not like, we, kids are experiencing now.. it's a break-up after u were married fo five years.. yes, that!! it turned out to be a huge impact in our family cos it's a first time in our family.. well, beside my uncle on my mother's side who had divorce before, whom his kids were hottest cousins i have on my mother's side,(damn!!) but they were now living with my uncle's ex-wife, so, we couldn't really meet them that much.. ok..ok.. calling for me back to earth! please stop sidetracking my story.. hehe.. so, well, yeah, it's a tragedy for her and her family.. but, it was pretty amazing how strong she is dealing all this eventhough she's preganant with their 3rd child right now..?? guys!! they really like to do what they feel like doing huh..?? hmmm.. whatever it is, it's good that my cousin are standing tall now, without thinking of the past.. seriously, she deserves someone waaaayy..waaayyy.. better than him.. god let u screw up at times so that u'll learn the lesson of life.. so, now, she's not the only one who learnt the lesson.. everyone around her does, including me.. it's somehow like a wake up call for everyone.. yes, i'll admit that, she can never leave her past at the roadside, but at least now, she can totally see and feel free from all the thorns and muds are always trying to pull her under..way down under from where she is.. coussy, there are a lot of hands around you, to pull you back out from the sinking mud, and hands who will cut off all those bad thorns around you.. she have everyone on her side, so no worries.. well, everything happens for a reason, so, sooner or later, we will all know the reasons for it, or maybe you did figure out the good outcomes from all this..

well, this goes out to everyone actually.. sometimes when we think it's the worst thing that ever happened to us, it can be the best thing ever happened.. everyone( and this goes out to me too) stay strong k!! whatever happens there's a lot of people around you you can count on, and i hope one of the people will be me, and i hop you will be for me too when i needed someone to grab me from falling down..down..down.. =)

fast n furious, baby!!

2009-04-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

u see, this past few days, me n derryck planned to go karaoke or een watch movie or just simply hang out like the good old days, like what we did last semester.. hehe.. but, nothing we planned come true, cos no one wanted to join us.. reena was busy with her studies.. n even if rema, tag along, only the 3 of us..?? not fun enough to karaoke.. lol.. so, today, i went and accompany derryck to midvalley, just checking what he loves best.. SHOES..!!hehehe. it's cool to actually see all this very cool shoe designs.. no wonder guys can be so addicted to it.. hahah.. we didn't do much actually, except for wandering around and lookat shoes here and there.. and i don;t feel like window shopping or shopping at all, cos if i wanna shop, i need my own time, n i need to have the mission.. haha.. oh, and at last all my stories about my life have been updated to derryck.. finally!! hahah.. he's the easiest guy for me to talk to about anything, even my girl's stuff.. hahah.. so, thanks derryck, ya!! haha.. since we had a lot of spare time before his next class at 4, we planned to go n watch movie.. when we arrived at gsc, baamm! fast n furious..!! haha.. we got in the line and when we got right in front of the counter, the first thing he asked, beside what movie, the guy who's at the counter asked us if we wanted couple seat.. hahah.. i wonder why, it must always be like that, when a guy n a girl went out together, and watched movie alone.. haha.. very funny.. and derryck straight away said no, and i was laughing at the corner.. lol.. when we bought the tix, it was 11.40, n spot on! the movie is practically starting.. so, we grab the popcorns, and went in.. the movie was superb!! not a dissapointment for me at all..!! hehe.. i'm not a huge follower of the fast n furious saga, but, ike i said, not a dissapointment at all..
and after the movies, we went around for a little while before we left back for campus.. and i didn't even think of having lunch at all.. haha.. after i got back to my room, after a few minutes, my stomach started to grumble.. haha.. so, we went arif to eat.. heheh.. and tonight, like always went for dance practice, and the teacher who taught us practically changed half of the choreography of the song tonight! and we had to get the new steps again.. *sigh*.. oh, lik i said earlier, i don't know why, but i really feel like going karaoke this week, so, since i have my headphone with a mic.. i took out the headphone wire, n just plugged in the mic wire, and went to youtube and find karaoke songs! hahaha.. at first, there was only me, sha, nisa n nini in the room, n i was the only one did the karaokeing, and they were 'enjoying' my performance.. hahah.. and then nisa went back, n kim came in.. n then nisa came in again, and at last we all sat and sing along together.. to whatever songs we felt like singing.. mariah carey, i will survive song, circus, a little bit of dangdut here and there(cos i'm a huge fan of dangdut) and even itik gembo gembo song! well, if u dunno what's that song, it was once a very popular song in malaysia, and the tune is super catchy.. lol..
overall, had a great day.. i need to do this more often... =p

chillex

2009-04-02T04:19:00.000-07:00

22 march 2008 - ok, from now on, my blogs will be prohibited(hopefuly that'll work) about talking about other people or even give my opinion about other people.. easy! no one will get hurt, n i won't be affected by the 'hurt process'.. fullstop! lol ok, now, talking about me, n nothing than me.. as stated on the date(chewaah), it was a sunday, me n a few of my new friends i made(weeeee..!! lol) did a performance on mmu open day at mmu grand hall.. well, i never said anything about this practice before right..?? it's just that i always forget to update my blog la.. hehe.. ok, so, talking about my dancing performance thing.. we had practiced every tuesday n thursday night for a few months now.. on that day, that was my first dance performance i was involved with after for oh-so-long of not dancing in front of public.. lol.. not many people know this, but dancing is somehow one of my passion in life.. when dancing, i can let loose, n be myself n show what i can do best with my body.. hehe.. n it's one way for me to have a few hours away from all the stress in life or studies or whatever shit.. doesn't matter what kind of dancing, i'm on it! even ballroom dancing! which reminds me of the ballroom dancing lesson i wet once with reena.. how funny does that look when ur partner is actually a girl too.. hahaha.. it's ok, but it's weird when other people are bringing their partner during that lesson.. lol.. and without even people knowing it, i am never shy of dancing in front of people.. it's just that people see me as they so-called-shy person n quiet person, that they don't know im capable of doing it.. just ask my closest friends, no one would've thought i could let loose to that point.. lol.. ok, back to my story.. so, yeah, we praticed every week.. n we learned different types of dances, depends on how fast we can catch-up.. mostly we learned traditional dance, cos i think it'll be easier later in the future if they wanted dancers to perform, they don't have to teach everything all over again each time there's performance.. on that day, we performed zapin n canggung dance.. canggung was ok, n for that dance, u need a partner, but i don't find it a big matter, cause who cares, it's a matter of enjoying myself right..??lol.. n for zapin, we didn't have a partner.. but zapin was much more crucial dance than canggung.. zapin really involves a lot of squatting n quicly get up, n squat back, n u need a lot of ATTITUDE.. hehe.. my leg was in pain, that it was hard for me to walk down the stairs.. one of the dancers, nad, had even spraint her ankle, but she still want to perform, so, she performd with a bandaged leg, when everyone else was barefooted.. lol.. but it was great fun.. getting ready was one of the best times la.. getting ready, putting on make-up, doing my hair, was one of the best things.. hahaha.. well, of course apart from dancing cos nothing can beat the feeling when performing on stage.. hahaha...
although a few days before the performance we had some difficulties of getting the steps right, but at last we managed to do it well.. well, it's considered good enough when all of us are amateurs.. lol..
but, it was one hell of a day!! and on that night, i had to be an usher for my second cousins wedding.. well, not a big deal, cos i was only the present-taker.. lol.. n actually i didn't do much.. aadeq did most of the receiving.. i just had to put it in order on the table.. hahaha.. but it was one hell of a day.. super tired.. but it was one great day for me i guess.. i had fun during the day..now, i'm practicing for another performance that i'm going to perform on 22nd april at the grand hall.. buy the tix.. it's only rm5!! hehehehe.. i'll do the opening perfromance, n also the javanese dance.. wich me luck!!! =)

girl's drama

2009-03-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

to all the guys out there.. did you know how hard it is to be a girl..?? well, if you really observe girls, i think you'd understand how hard it is to be a girl.. how complicated and unpredictable girls can be..?? ok, complicated n unpredictable, people can still overcome that.. but, how about being emotional..?? wooahh, that's the hardest thing about being a girl maybe.. soemtimes, we didn't even realised we're actually being emotional for no reason... one after another will be your victim of this weird feeling that you have inside.. well, i'm not saying being emotional is bad, but there must be a solid reason for that.. if you don't even know the real situation, and you're just being "dramatic" as i will call it, just because you interpret things wrongly, then don't blame others for that.. one more funny thing about being emotional and dramatic is you'll start cursing and wishing that that other person will feel the same way you feel now, one fine day.. isn't it funny..?? haha.. i find it very amusing.. one good thing about being too emotional is that u will somehow knows other people's sensitivity about stuff.. cos with you being emotional, you can actually know what can make other people feel bad or hurt, cos you'll know that if other people did that to you, you know that it'll hurt.. but, knowing girls, we're just human who are full with envy and jealousy among each others, soooo.. you just screw them for being hurt about what you said.. see, how confusing girls can be.. you don't want people to hurt you, but at the same time, you're actually hurting other people, so that that other people will feel what you feel.. immature.. yes, you can say that too.. but, what can we do, we're just like that.. however, don't just blame others for what you feel or what you do.. look back and think what you've done before this that might hurt other people.. maybe some other people who you've hurt before is not being a drama queen as much as you are, i mean, you are totally in a very different league from all of us, cos the other people you've hurt before this tried to suck it all in, and just forget about it.. no need to brag it out in public... but, just look at the word QUEEN.. queen is the one, no one can disobey them and they'll do whatever they want.. and they can let the whole kingdom know how you feel so, that's how i feel about a drama queen too.. just the same thing, but just more drama.. wooahh, that is a lot more worse than being just a queen.. haha.. drama queen is the ultimate queen.. hahah.. so, drama queens out there, or should i say your highnesses, just take a few minutes to be any ordinary citizen, and look back how other people actually feels.. see, and you say being a girl is much easier than being a guy..!!

the day the rain finally arrived...

2009-02-23T00:29:00.000-08:00

it was like any other ordinary monday in cyberjaya, where my day is packed with classes from early morning to evening.. thank god, it's a bit windy today, so i didn't feel that hot as much as i felt last few weeks.. before my last lecture class starting, i really did not have the mood to go, and i really took my time going for class.. half way throguh the class, all of a sudded, it was raining heavily outside without any of us in the class realised, cos the door was shut, and there's no window in fomcr.. hehehe.. and suddenly nini got a message from sha, our new roomie(hihihi) that the window at my side of the table in the room was not closed, and my sister's laptop was on the table.. like any other days when it rained in cyber, surely, the rain managed to get through the room, if the window is opened.. so, clearly i couldn't focus in class(well, actually, i never really could focus in that class.. lol) and my sister told me earlier she couldn't get in the room because she got no key to my room.. and my key, without even i realising it, i left it on the table of my study table in my room.. so, it's a bit hectic right that moment.. and i did feel like i wanna ditched the class and get out of the class earlier, cos i really couldn't focus, even before the rain came down.. bt no...i never bother about my instinct right there.. so, because of this hecticness, i decided to walk back to my hostel room, and see how to deal with this problem.. and this was the day when i decided not to drive my car to class.. *sigh* and as i was walking halfway back to hostel, my sis sent a message saying that she managed to enter the room, by asking the people who take care of the hostel thing, for a spare key.. so, since i was already halfway back, i didn't want to go back to class.. of course not, after what i've gone through.. the hardship of going through the rain.. so, as i was walking down the stairs, and i was nearing my hoetle block, that was when the BEST thing happened.. i tripped on the stairs and slide down a few steps of tje stairs on my right ass, and elbow.. my file dropped(thank god i didn;t bring any books), and i helped myself up.. what really pissed me off was that there were a few guys in front of me, and no one even bother to help me.. ok, maybe there's one guy asked me wether i'm ok or not.. the other guy, he just turned, and saw what happened, and turned back again and continue his way back.. the most pissing off moment was that, my file was right beside his leg at that time... gahhh..!! thanks for the help, i guess..!! grrrr.. and i was like in total pain, and i almost cried right that instant, but i managed to suck it in, until when i got back to the room, and saw my sister.. and i couldn't suck it anymore and i burst out crying.. omg!! and it turned out that her laptop was fine, because the curtain helped to cover her laptop from the rain.. and now, my right side ass is super swollen.. i can totally feel the different.. hahaha.. and i couldn't even sit properly, without being very careful..
and when i was in the car, a slight bump will make me screaming out loud.. hahaha.. but it was not a good experience.. what's with the embarassment and the pain.. ughhh..!! i was complaining the whole week last week how cyber is super hot that i couldn't stand it.. and today, when the rain finally came down, i fell on the stairs and hurt myself.. haihh.. so, the moral of the story is, follow your instinct.. if your guts say you should ditch class.. then maybe you really should do that... hmmm..

happy belated valentine's day!!!

2009-02-20T02:46:00.000-08:00

it's not too late for me to wish everyone a very happy belated valentine's day!!! well, it's actually kind of a bit late right considering it was a week ago.. hahah..
somehow, this year, this 2009, i had THE BEST V-DAY EVER!! thinking back this past few years, i never got lucky on v-day.. i think i had fun on 14th feb was only once, and that was when i was in form 2, which was when i was 14, and which also means, 6 years ago.. so you do the math how not great was my v-day this past few years.. i think v-day was a bit devastating for me last few years, is because i was feeling miserable and i thought a lot of how i don't have a bf on v-day and stuff like that.. but, this year, it's a brand new year, and a brand new spirit baby!! i never felt as this free for like...forever!! hahahaha.. now..now.. don't get me wrong, it's not like i had a date or something on that day.. well, maybe i did have a date on that day...oh well, i'll get back to that part later.. but the main reason for me to have the best v-day ever in history was because early this year, i made a resolution that i'll just stop being sad and questioning why haven't i found the one for me yet, when every single person around have someone beside them.. i just realised, it was the most tiring and wasting time experience ever.. today, i finally realised that i should enjoy every minute of my singlehood and being with family and friends life, cos who knew what will happen in the future.. it's not like i've given up in guys or anything like that, it's just that i'll just chillout right now.. if the right guy comes around, it'll happen.. if not, i'll just chill some more.. no more looking around, just walk through life without having to stop and look around the bushes to find something that's not there cos it's just a waste of time.. hehehe.. ok, back t the story of why i was happy on 14th feb was because my dad got 2 free tickets to watch the musical theatre of PUTERI GUNUNG LEDANG.. i've always wanted to watch that show, but all this while, it got sold out at a nick of time.. and lucky me, my dad got 2 free tix this year, and what's even better was the shoe was on valentine's day!! it was the perfect gift ever..!! haha.. and who was my date to the show..?? duhh!! oviously my sister..!! my older sister i mean.. and i had a very gr8 night that night.. that show, for me, was a very beautiful one.. of course, there's some part when it was a bit too draggy and my sister almost fell asleep, but overall it was a great show.. well, i think one main reason why i love the show was because it brought us through the hardship of true love.. and knowing me, u would know, i have this thing about true love tales and it made me feel...awwwwww... hahaha.. and knowing me as a new person, i didn't feel grawky or anything like that at all.. i just felt that, one fine day, i'll find my own true love,and i'll have my own tale to tell.. hehehe.. for me, it ws one of the best way to celebrate v-day, and i think if they'll have it again next year, i think i'll go again and book the tickets on 14th feb.. by that time, who'll be my date, i don't know just yet.... hmmm... lol.. oh, and apart from that, someone gave me 2 white roses straight from malacca. ok, it's from cameron highlands, but it transit at malacca.. hahaha.. martin gave me the white roses.. weeeeee.. he gave me n reena the white roses.. thanx a lot martin!! really appreciate it.. and eventhough it dried out and died, i still keep it in my room.. hihihii.. so, how much more perfect my v-day can be when i've watched a love saga in theathre , and i've received roses, without even having me to ask for it.. well, not like before this i ever asked anyone to buy for me roses.. wel, maybe once when i was in form 5, when i simply asked a couple of my guy friends to buy me roses instead of chocolates.. lol.. ok, that's it..and as a big lesson for me, i don't need a man, a guy, or a boy to make me feel happy on special occasions.. as long as i have the people i loved all around me, who needs more than that...??

so little time, so many stories!

2009-02-20T02:25:00.000-08:00

i think i've said this a gazillion times.. but i haven't update my blog for awhile now it seems.. hehehe.. me n a few of my classmates were talking in class the other day, how we've been a bit lazy to update blogs.. n yes, i was the longest who didn't update her blog.. lol.. not that i don't have any stories to tell.. it's just that there's not enough time or somehow writng the blog slipped form my to-do list every now and then.. hehehe.. hurmm.. i think only for today, i'll be posting a few posts to update every single great memories i had this past couple of months.. ehehe.. so, the first one now i think i'll be talking about my new passion.. well, i've been doing this for a few months now.. it looks like i have a big passion for twilight novel series nowadays.. i know the books have been out for quite awhile now.. and i've seen the book before this, but i don't know why, i never had the feeling to go and grab it and take it to the counter and bought it.. hehe.. and what a big mistake that was for not buying the book before this.. i'll admit, after watching the movie, i was curious about the whole movie thing, so i tried to read book one forst, which was the TWILIGHT.. and to my own surprised, it was one of the best love stories i've ever read.. so, i continued with book 2, n i've been addicted to it that i continued with book 3 n book 4, which was the eclipse and breaking dawn.. and no one really know the trouble i had to go through to buy all the books, to get all four books, especially eclipse and breaking dawn.. i had to ask the people in mph to reserve me the books, cos it sold out when i went there... and when the book was in, obviously, i went there, and bought it.. lol.. before this, i never liked reading all this unrealistic stuff that will never happened in real life.. but when i was reading the book, i felt like it was all real, and it was about an ordinary girl having an ordinary life, with no wizards an stuff.. it's just that she realised that she had fallen in love with a vampire.. and no to mention, the werewolves were there too.. with the whole plot that was in today's life, in this 21st century life, it really made it all soo surreal.. and it was a wonderful thing too.. hehe..i remembered when i was reading the book, and when i came to the part when edward cullen(who is the main character and the vampire) left bella (the heroin who was the ordinary girl) because he do not want to put her in danger with all the vampires around.. when i read that part, and suddenly i had to stop reading the book for awhile because i had to do some other stuff for awhile, i was all sulky and moody and somehow...sad.. like edward cullen left ME.. hahah.. that was funny when i looked back, but it just shows how crazy i am with all this characters, and of course edward cullen, who was by far the most perfect guy ever!!! screw romeo..screw prince charming..screw superman and spiderman.. i want my very own edward cullen now!! hahaha.. and up till today, i can't remember how many times i have read over and over again all the four books.. and the funny thing was normally i need some story books to make me got to sleep, but reading this twilight saga, it couldn;t make me sleep at all.. it jus made me want to go on and on.. haha.. a big credit to stephenie meyer for having a great imagination and made it look soooo.. reality and not out of the world kind of thing.. hahaha..
well, that's it about the books, i'll be continuing with another story shortly..

so many stories in a month

2009-01-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

hurmm.. now..now.. where do i start..?? hurmm.. can i jus start by saying i'm having exam tomorrow..?? two papers, n instead of studying i feel like writing my blog, which i didn't update for more than a month now.. oh ya, anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! heheh.. i know it's like almost a week already since 2009 had begun, bt hey, it's never too late, right..?? lol.. this couple of weeks is full with memories.. good memories, bad memories, everything.. i cried, i laughed, i did crazy stuff with my sisters.. i've liked someone, i've lost interest on someone, celebrating ppl 's birthday, celebrating xmas.. n many other stuff, n it's hard to update evry single thing.. bt i'll try my best k.. towards the end of last year, it has been a big bummer to me.. i did mention b4 dis that i think i like someone now, bt it seems like that will never happen, cos we're cool as frens, n i'm more open when i am friends with the guy.. relax..relax.. i'm not heartbroken for the gazillion times now.. lol.. it's jus a temporary feeling b4 it hit me dat it'll be never go further than a friendship thing.. hehehe.. so, dat ended up well.. d bummer part was actually d fact that somehow, n sometimes, i feel i'm all alone in this world.. yes, i know b4 dis, i dun really care cos i got my friends around.. bt how long can a friend stick by you, cos they will eventually have their own personal n private life to entertain.. n i broke down a couple of times jus bcos of dis matter.. stupid, eh..?? but, one day, it hit me dat, no matter how alone i will be my friends will always be there for me, evnthough i dun wanna kacau their life at d moment.. heheh.. they're really good friends, sticking by me through the goods n d bads.. evry single one of my friend.. hehehe.. ok..ok.. stop dis emoing moment.. lol.. so, to stop me from feeling down n stressing on dis matter, i had a list of brand new new year's resolutions.. first, i wanna try to lose weight.. try as in i dun wanna force myself on doing it jus for the sake of impressing ppl.. i wanna go on a diet for my own good.. ppl can say whatever they wanna say cos they jus dunno what to say to me, so they alk about my weight.. lol.. n i won't care for the people who thinks too much about being skinny n all, n jus dun look at d beauty behind all dis.. n i'll ignore ppl who were not encouraging me to stay fit for myself, n not for others.. don't wanna elaborate much on dat, let's jus this be it.. =)... my next resolution is to try n mingle around with others, n know more ppl.. i mean, i shouldn't keep on asking myself why am i still alone, what hav i done b4 dis, that makes me in dis kind of situation, n stuff like dat.. so, instead of feeling low, i should start mixing with ppl.. go on dates with my friend's friend..or anyone dat i know, who r open to jus date.. if it works out ok, then it's ok.. n if it didn't work ouy, hey, i make new friends.. n my last resolution is i wanna stop feeling like a bummer each day.. i need to cheer up n live to the fullest.. njoy d moments, n cherish it.. hihihi.. haishh.. i am totally in a very semangat mood.. evrything i do is to put myself first, n find d missing pieces for all my questions that i hav been asking myself d whole of 2008.. hihihi.. n as far as i'm concerned, 2009 started very well for me.. i'm in full gear to start a brand new life..a brand new me.. =) bt when i am jus njoying d moment, dat was when drama will occur.. sometimes ppl can't jus accept rejection.. n it's not even a rejection.. bcos if it is, i'll surely ignore u from d first moment i met you.. at least i still wanna make friends, with you, n dat's a good start right..?? u jus hav to respect my principe in life, n i won't change my principe jus bcos of a guy.. then i will be unfair to all d ppl i've said that to.. chill la.. there's a lot of ways to communictae nowadays.. n u're jus being childish about it.. i never said NO to you, it's jus that it's my damn principe.. haishh... ok..ok.. *breath in*breath out* i wanna have a great n chirpy life remmbr..??? huhuhu... hurmm.. at d moment, i'll let you cool down n try to forget me from your mind jus bcos u couldn't get what you want (note that, don't think about what the thiing that he wanted, it's not to THAT extreme, ok! it's jus something small n if u know it, u'll know that guy is somehow not thinking rationally).. so, yea, screw him.. i need to enjoy life.. =)

HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY, SIS!

2008-11-24T00:03:00.000-08:00

well, today is the 24th day in the month of november.. and that means, it's NIK AFIFAH NIK A MAJID'S(a.k.a my sis) birthday!!! woohoo!!! hehehehe.. well, too bad i couldn't celebrate it with her and the whole family because she's now in johore.. hehehehe.. anyway, happy birthday, sis! hope u'll have a gr8 day today.. eventhough sometimes we had some fights that made us bang to the door like crazy, but you are still my sis who i look up to my whole life.. for me, you're the coolest sister anyone could ever have.. many people said it's cool to have a sister than a big brother, because with a sister, it's easier to talk to and stuff.. and yes, that is soo true.. i'm glad i have a great sis like u..!! ngeeee..!!! and even knowing u as the paparazzi of the family, (because u'll start tellling mama about the new hot story that's happening around the family) aadeq n i still talked to u about most of the stuff... hehehehe.. and eventhough u hate when both of us started saying i love u to u, bcos u dun like the sound of it, but, i know u still love us dearly.. awwww... heheheh... neway, hope u'll have a great bb-day today, with ur colleagues in johore.. hahaha.. I LOVE U..!! lol

I'M NOT JEALOUS..urrmmm.. i think

2008-11-23T23:42:00.000-08:00

last night i was chatting with my friend on ym.. then, all of a sudden, the story of my ex suddenly appeared.. which ex..?? urmm.. the last ex.. the one who when he first came in to the school thought i had a crush on him, and he didn't talk to me at all, just because of that, until he found out that i liked someone else.. sheeessshh!! and at last, he fell for me, right..?? huh! and yes, this is a true story, because it was so obious because before that he didn't talk to me at all, when he was closed to evryone around me.. and when the story about i liked someone else was told to him, on that same day, he can simply come and sit beside me when the sit's empty.. now, that was funny moment.. now, to make things easier, let's call him..urmm.. PERASAN GUY, or jus PG.. hehhe.. ok, back to the story about my friend, she told me that she saw PG with his current gf walking around in midvalley.. and that was not the first time i heard about that story of him walking around hand-in-hand with that girl (and, oh, fyi, that girl was also my schoolmate, but he had a crush on her for a long time, but after form 5 ended, an our relationship ended only when they got to know themselves better, plus, last time, that girl had a bf =p) TONS of my friends saw him with her, and even my sister had seen them before together.. i didn;t see him on that day when my sis saw him, just because we took separate ways, because she went walking with her cousin.. hehehhe.. and this problem of seeing him around, is not a problem to me at all.. what seems to be my problem is that i knew he would think that i'm still all alone, and i'm still stuck on the memories of us, when i don't even bother about his life at all..!! i mean, hello! we didn't hae any memories at all together, because for a relationship that only lasted for 3 WEEKS, n i broke up with him, was kinda short to even have the chance to gather the memories.. we didn't even had the chance to go out on a proper date.. geeshh.. what bothers me so much was that, we were close as friends before this, and suddenly, evrything's over..?? i mean, we still talk to each other after we broke up, but he kept on talking about how's my life doing..?? and do i have anyone new in my life.. sheeshh.. like that is the most important thing in my life at that moment.. and, now, it's almost a year now since we last talked to each other.. and i know, if.... AND IF, i ever bumped to him one fine day walking with tha girl, i will know exactly what will be playing in his head... cos it's written evrything on his face.. so, now i'm really hoping to not see him at all, because it'll cause me a very crucial heart-ache if i saw his face.. ugghhhh!!

SURPRISE 4 ME..

2008-11-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

well, anyone didn't know, i celebrated my 19th birthday last tuesday.. yeay, me!! hahah.. before my birthday, yes, i was feeling very..very..down.. i didn't know why i felt that way, but i felt like i was left all alone in this world, because my friends would be busy with their own lives.. hurmm.. but, that ended on the day of my birthday.. to start with, the night before my birthday.. i was going out to have dinner with reena n rema that night when nini insisted on us going to the curve to watch a movie, and eat there.. i don't mind going there, wel, because, since i felt like no one would be celebrating my birthday, i just agreed to the plan, since, well, if anyone asked me, at least i could say that i watched a movie with my friends.. heheh.. it was 10 pm when we arrived there, and me, reena n rema were so damn hungry, because i was fasting that day, and i didn't have the chance to break fast properly, bcos after my class ended at 7 pm, reena, nini, me, n derryck, went to the track cos we planned to go jogging there.. hehehehe.. so, when we arrived at the curve, it was kinda late, so, most of the shops there were closed, only some other restaurants at THE STREET.. we didn't know where to eat there in the first place, but then, reena suggested we'll go to bubba gump shrimp because she said she went to that place pnce with her mom.. so, ok la, if the food is nice.. hehehe.. so, when we saw that restaurant, i saw that te place was like packing up.. so, i told them we need to go n find some other place.. so, we ended up eating the cakes at starbucks.. what happened to the movie plan u might ask.. hurmm.. nini said she's not sure where's the movie thatre.. if u asked me, i wouldn't know either.. because, eventhough i've been in the curve for a few times, i never tried exploring that place, bcos evrytime i went there, i would only go to the place where i planned to go.. like accompanying my mom do her facial there, or just went there for dinner around the street.. so, wen ended up sitting at starbucks there.. but, it was kind of weird because nini insisted in going to bubba gump, where for me, the place was closing.. but, since she said it's still opened, so, we went back there, and yes, it is open.. and, surprise..surprise.. kim, nisa, bear hana n ikkey were there sitting in the restaurant.. and obviously they were waiting for us there.. and obviously again, i sensed something going on here.. but i just ignore that senses, and enjoyed the food there.. when the clock struck 12 am, martin n nits called me, and made them the first people to wish me on my birthday.. hehehehe.. while i was talking to martin nnits on th ephone, suddenly the waiters at bubba gump was shouting n screaming something, which i was not so sure about.. and at that moment, the line was disconnected, so i hung up the phone, and looked that they were surprising me with some kind of ritual and tradition there in bubba gump, and i had to stand on the chair..!! hahaha.. and they were stomping around and they were saying about it's my birthday today.. and one of my favourite part would be when they were like singing "if u want this birthday cake, u must shake ur booty" or something like that.. hahahahhahaha.. and as i am trying to be a sport, i did shake my booty.. hahahahaahah.. now, that was funny.. embarassing, not really, because i'm soo happy because people do remmbr my birthday.. huhuhu.. and that was one of the best times of the day.. and after eating the cake, we went back to mmu..hihihihi.. and i was soo happy.. hehehe.. ok, the next day, my classes were so packed the whole day, so no time to go and celebrate or anything.. but, reena promised me that all 3 of us go out for dinnere, and of course, i didn't mind.. hehehe.. so, that night, after my class, i was waiting for them to ask me out for the dinner, but until 8.30, they still didn't text me to ajak me out.. and i was soo hungry at that time.. so, i text reena, and asked where were they, because i was soo hungry.. and she tols me that she got some SIFE meeting.. hurmm.. since she had that meeting thing, so it's ok la.. then around 9 pm, then only reena told me that their ready now, and i can go to the parking place first to take my car..
all the way to my car, i was texting li bing, and when i arrived at my car, i received a text from reena, and she said she's just behind my car, and there she was.. and you know what more exciting..?? THE MALACCAN PEEPS WERE HERE..!! their here in cyber, to surprised me.. aaaaaaggggghhhhhhh!!!! omg! that's the best surprise ever.. evry single of them were here, nits, martin, ivan, losh, and other people who were there too were derryck and the other loshini.. that was very exciting.. hahahahah.. so, ivan told us that we'll go out to some mamak stall and grab some dinner there.. hehehe.. so, all together 3 cars went down to subang, while derryck lead us with his car.. and so much for a mamak stall, they brought me to TGI FRIDAY in subang parade.. sheeessshh.. hehehehe.. so, we had dinner there, and another surprise for me was that they gave me a gift.. they gave me an ESPRIT WATCH.. hehehehe.. my god thanks alot guys.. hehehe.. and oh my god, the night didn't ended there.. the tgi crew surprised me when they came around the table and asked me to stand on my chair.. and AGAIN, i had to stand on the chair.. hahahah.. they gave me the ketchup bottle and suddenly asked me to sing a song.. what the hell...??? i never, i repeat NEVER sang in public in my whole entire life.. so, i refused to sing, and i said i prefer dancing.. and they won't let me do it.. sheeessshh.. and i refused to sing.. and at last they asked me to give a 2 minutes speech.. hahahah.. nw that's better.. so, i was babbling on, and at last i got my cake.. and there's another catch.. they asked me to blow the candle when i was standing like 2 feet away from the cake.. how am i suppose to do that.. so, the funny part would be, i was trying to blow the candle, and i tried waving my hand, just in case it'll work.. hahahah.. and at last they put the cake nearer to me.. hihihihihi.. and at last, they sang to me some birthday song, tgif version.. heheheh.. and obviously that was the best day ever in my whole entire life.. haha.. and the best part would be when we got 20% discount because the manager(i think) in tgif was ragu's cousin.. oh, didn't i mentioned, ragu n raghu joined in for the surprise birthday party.. hehehehe.. thanx a lot ya ragu!! hahahah.. ok, not only ragu, i thanked all of them, reena, rema, nits, martin, ivan, the two loshinis, ragu n raghu.. haishh.. u guys are the best la weyh.. oh, not to forget my friends who surprised me earlier, nini, kim, nisa, bear, ikkey n hana.. all of u guys are the best of friends ever.. the sacrifices u made to come down to cyber and around kl jus for the sake of my birthday and making me happy on that special day was the most priceless thing i've ever received from any friends i have. thanx a lot guys..!! i love ya guys a lot.. n owh ya, people who wished me on my birthday via sms, facebook, friendster or myspace - thanx 4 the wishes.. hihihihi.. and for the first time after a few gloomy days for me, at last i was smiling in my sleep.. hihihihi.. and oh ya, a quick one.. besides getting all the gifts and love from my friends, i realised something new in my life.. the hint is butterflies are starting to live again in my stomach.. hahahah..!! next time i'll tell u more about that story, because i need to reassure my situation and the future that might happened... hehehe

SURPRISE, NITS!

2008-11-16T03:23:00.000-08:00

last friday, me, reena, rema, n loshini drove down to malacca to have a surprise part for nitasha.. well, since it's called a surprise party, we told nitasha that we couldn't make it to malacca to celebrate her birthday.. i told her that i had some futsal thing on saturday (which is kinda true), n d rest made some very gr8 excuses.. actually, most of the excuses are not made up.. like, i really have futsal thing on saturday, n reena had some family thing on d same day.. so, actually, we couldn't really make it to malacca, bt since, it's for our dearest friend, we eventually work it out, without having to skip the events that we have to attend.. hihihihi.. so, we left for malacca on friday (since the surprise is on friday night, but note that her birthday is on saturday) afternoon n we arrived there around 3.. martin warned us earlier that we should not be seen near ixora or mmu area, bcos there's possibilities that nitasha might see us there, n if she did see us, the surprise will be ruined.. huhuhu.. anyways, when we arrived there, rema went n surprised her bf first at EP, n martin was waiting for us there too.. after that, we went n meet up with ivan n hima n we lepak and eat at the indian restaurant near that area bcos me n reena were soo damn hungry because we didn't eat the whole morning.. haishh.. so, after that, me, reena, ivan n martin went out around malacca.. hima went back home because he said he's not feeling well.. so, we drove around malacca and ivan said that he wanted to get new piercing at his lower lip.. we went to dataran pahlawan and went to TRIBE n he went and get his lip pierced.. at times we were thinking what nitasha did in ixora, becuase martin purposely fought with nitasha n made him sent her back to her place... so, as we were having fun walking around malacca, she was feeling sad in ixora and thinking why her friends didn't bother coming down for her birthday.. hehehehe.. so, after that, around 7, we went back to martin's place, since his place was empty, we sat there n watched madagascar from my laptop, and around 10 we got ready for the night.. we were planning to go out and eat first somewhere that area, after we pick up hima, but unfortunately, we dodn't know what happened we waited for him for 20 minutes, and it was 11.15 already when he showed up.. so, we thought of grabbing something near the surprise place, but then we had to pick up rema n her bf, and we were stuck there again for about 15 minutes, and there goes our dinner... hahaha.. owh ya, did i mentioned how the plan worked..?? well, martin planned and told nitasha earlier that he is taking her to bamboo hut, a restaurant near a'famosa, and they will have dinner there.. at 12 midnight sharp, we would go in the restaurant, and surprised her with the cake, and of course alll of her closest friends.. so, since we were kinda late to meet up outside the restaurant, we didn't get to grab something to eat, we were hungry, but luckily we made it on time before the surprise.. so, when we went in the place, she was obviously very shocked.. she was screaming the whole time, and yeay! the surprise went well, i mean, it went perfectly.. hahahaha.. haishh. how lucky nitsha is, having a great bf planning for her birthday.. he planned this party for more than one month.. he even tried to get her dad to come down n join us for the surprise, but then her dad couldn't make it, for some reasons.. huhhuuh.. man, one lucky girl nitasha is to find a very great bf.. they look so good together , n i couldn't imagine what would happen if something happened between the two of them..huhuhu.. anyway, he had a lot of fun that night but somehow i felt soo lonely.. u see, like i said before this, all of them have someone special in their life, so i was like left alone ther cos obviously they need to spend time with their bfs bcos they didn't always come down to malacca.. so, that night, it was only me n ivan there without THE OTHER HALF.. but i didn't feel so gr8 about it because ivan was not in the mood, bcos he got some probs with his girl, and i was practically left alone.. i was only the driver for the night.. i know at times, reena tried to pull me up to not make me soo left out, but i didn't need anyone sympathy and i didn't want them to feel sorry for me.. i mean, this was thei chance to spend time with their bfs.. it's kinda my own problem about the loneliness thing.. haishh.. and even better, i drove back to kl alone, bcos reena went to her aunt's place, n rema wanted to stay another day there.. so, at some point i broke down in the car and listened to some emo songs in the car.. haishh.. what a life..!! i know i got to stop feeling sorry for myself, and try to have fun with life.. but, gee, i couldn't help it.. huhuhuhuhu.. but, i shouldn't show it in front of them, because i should be happy for them.. i mean, i am happy for them, but then, i couldn't help it but have this naughty thoughts in my head.. ok, enough of that thing... well, after i got back from malacca, i was suppose to go for the futsal thing, but then, i was so tired so i slept the whole entire evening, and i woke up at 7 pm.. hahahaa.. and then, around 10 something i slept again.. my god.. i don't know why i'm so tired that day.. huhuhuhu.. mayb bcos of hte driving and lack of sleep 2 nights in a row.. hihihihihi..
but, it's all worth it, looking at nitasha's surprised face.. =) happy birthday girl!!

LOVE STORY

2008-11-13T00:24:00.000-08:00

Love Story
by Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes and the flashbacks start

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

I see you make your way through the crowd

And say hello

Little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

And I was crying on the staircase

Begging you, please don't go

And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes

So, I sneak out to the garden to see you

We keep quiet cause we're dead if they knew

So close your eyes

Escape this town for a little while

Oh oh

Cause you were Romeo, I was the scarlet letter

And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"

But you were everything to me

I was begging you, please don't go

And I said

Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes

Romeo, save me

They try to tell me how I feel

This love is difficult, but it's real

Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes

Oh oh

I got tired of waiting

Wondering if you were ever coming around

My faith in you is fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town

And I said

Romeo, save me

I've been feeling so alone

I keep waiting for you, but you never come

Is this in my head

I don't know what to think

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad

Go pick out a white dress

It's a love story

Baby, just say yes

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh

'Cause we were both young when I first saw you

Now, this is like one of the sweetest song i've ever heard.. it's about a girl who's in love with the guy, but their relationship was not agreed by her parents, so they have to do whatever they can to save and to cherish their love.. my favourite part of this song would be "Romeo, save me,
I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you, but you never come".. cos i think it suits me pretty well, as you know, i'm waiting for MY ROMEO to come, but he's still hadn't showed up yet.. so, i'll keep on waiting.. ok,ok.. stop emoing and say all this nonsense.. hehehehe..
well, talking about this song, it's a very wonderful song, and it's a very beautiful song.. i've always love taylor swift, and i am pretty sure this will be another hit from her.. =)

p/s: i didn't post the video clip here, cos feeling lazy to upload it.. lol.. sorry..!! =p

I AM SO FREE!

2008-11-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

ok, all this while,if ppl notice, i've been wearing two rings on my right hand.. one is my sister's ring, bt she didn't wear it anymore, so i took it =p, n another one is from my ex.. yes, my ex.. the last boyfriend i had almost two years ago.. lol.. well, don't get me wrong here.. i wore that ring all tis while, is not because i couldn't get over him.. oh, trust me, the day we broke up, was the day i forgot evrything about him.. heheh... not to be rude, or being arrogant, but, we are so meant to be friends only, and the idea of going to the next level in our relationship was a big NO-NO.. hehehe.. plus, he got a new gf now, the girl he had been waiting for even before he got to know me more.. hehehe.. ok, so now, let's talk about the ring.. he gave me that ring as a sign of our relationship thing, or whatever crap it represented.. so, after we broke-up, i stopped wearing the ring for quite some time cos i was planning to gie it back to him.. i mean, it's not some cikai ring, you know.. well, it didn't cost thousands of ringgit, but it's not that cheap after all, that's what i was told by my friends who helped him pick the ring.. heheheh.. hurmm... anyway, when i was giving it back to him, he said i should keep it, so, being a sport, i kept it in the box.. but after some time, i was thinking to myself, why should i keep the ring inside the box, when someone bough the ring specially for me.. so, since the ring was for me, no longer a sign of our LOVE or anything, so i put it back on my finger.. you could notice the ring in most of my pictures, the one i wore it on the moddle finger.. hehehehe.. so, after some time, i mean, after almost two years after we broke up (oh, did i mentioned the relationship only lasted for 3 weeks.. huhuhu), finally i realised.. maybe the ring still does represent love between us.. oh, how should i put this.. ok, maybe the ring does represent that i am still attached to him in away.. ok, not emotionally, but physically, as the ring was on my finger 24/7.. heheheh.. so, finally, i've made up my mind, i took it off, and there's no more ring on my middle finger.. yeay!! in away, spiritually, i feel like, i am being the whole me again, without any attachment, because everytime people saw me around wearing that ring, they would say that i was engaged, mainly because the ring do look like an enagement ring.. hehehehe.. so, now i've kept it somewhere out of my site (hurmm.. i wonder where did i put the ring???) , so now i am spiritually, physically mentally, and evrything soo totally not attached.. and i think because of that aura i was spreading out, i guess people saw it, and i'm full of confidence of myslef again.. yeay, me!! so, the moral of the story is, don't ever wear something that was given by your ex, even if you guys are so cool as friends.. hehehehe.. owh, and one more good thing abut letting it go is dat, my hand feels much lighter than before.. lol.. haish, i shouldn't have worn it back earlier.. hahaha.. funny..funny.. =)

something sweet.. at last!!

2008-11-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

u know what..?? i realised something.. most of the time i write down in my blog, it was mostly about how devastating my life is and so on.. but, it's weird when i didn't recall talking about the wonderful side of my life.. it's like my blog was mostly about the sour scene, instead of the sweetsourscene i'm trying to put it in here.. so, where's the sweet scene..?? hurmm.. it's somewhere, but i was too blind to realized it all this while cos the image of pathetic life was all around me.. but, now, right this moment, i have something sweet to tell.. hehehee.. well, the results of my 1st semester 1 year degree was out today.. i jus chcked my results around 7 pm something.. bcos, 1, because i didn't realised my phone battery died, plus, my phone was in my handbag since last night.. (see, it shows that my phone is not my whole entire life, like some people may say..) plus, i was not online the whole entire day because i was watching tv the whole day, and in the evening, it was raining heavily in bangsar here, so, i couldn't be online.. so, i managed to go online only after 7 pm.. and when i checked in the mmu bulletin board, they said that the results are out on the 5th, which is tomorrow.. and after changing my status in facebook, someone who was soo nice to tell me that the results are actually out today.. hahahaha.. look how far i was ketinggalan.. and because i did not checked my phone te whole day, it made me blocked away from the outside world.. hahaha.. my friends actually send me messages talking about the results.. pfft.. and i thought i knew it first.. lol..
so, anyway, i checked the results, and thank to GOD, i passed all the papers.. hahahaha.. what's my score and the CGPA, hurmm.. let it be my own secret, ok.. let's just say that the results could help me remain as a ytm scholarship holder, which was one of my biggest concern about the results because i don't wanna let my family down.. =) and another main concerned i have was i need to score well this sem, because, if not, it's going to be tough for me to score better next time in the future semesters to come.. so, i thank GOD a lot.. how lucky i am, because i know i am not the best human being in the world, but HE still helped me with all the troubles i have all this time.. ALHAMDULILLAH.. hurmm.. and you wanna know something sweeter..?? after getting the results, it really made me think, pfftt..

don't mess with my sisters!!

2008-10-30T07:42:00.000-07:00

u know what..?? there's one characteristic that i notice about myself is that i am a very protective person, especially when it comes to family.. i love them soo much that if anyone, and i mean ANYONE, who messes with them, especially my younger sister, will absolutely, 100%, without doubt, will kena from me right at that moment.. i'v experienced a vey bad situation 2 years back that really hit me, and ever since that, if anyone messes with my younger sister will make me soo furious that they will have to deal with me.. let's not remind me on the situation that i experienced before this.. you might say that i am just bullshitting or jus talking on thin air, but when the real thing happenning in front of me, i would not do as what i said here.. oh, no, u got that wrong..!! i used to confront a boy who without no valid reason and being soooo immature of him saying all this crap about my sister.. well, i think if i explained here on what he said, i am surely anyone will be soo furious about it, and i guess, will do the same thing.. ughhhh!!! thinking about that boy really reminds me of the situaion i had before, cos they are two both same guys who didn't use their heads to think on what they are saying.. ughh.. i hate them!!!! not that i don't protect my older sister, but i know she don't think i'm capable of coping with any of her problems, as i am so-called younger than her and i don't have much experienced in life than her.. actually, without her knowing this, i think i know a lot of stuff about life without even having to experienced it myself.. i'm not trying to brag about this, but i think because i love to read soo much, that i think somehow, in some part i learn more about life from the books i've read.. ok, mayb i don't read thirty or forty books a month, but somehow, the books that i have read thought me much, and plus with my own experienced, i think i am able to hear her problems.. ok, let's not drag out this story about my older sister for too long.. let's focus on my younger sister.. now, she's having another problem.. her new boyfriend doesn't seem to trust her in certain way.. isn't it stupid to imagine this : she was running to pick up her phone because he was calling, and when she picked up the phone, obviously she was breathing hard on the phone, and at the same time, he said he overheard a male's voice from the phone.. and you know whose voice is that..?? MY DAD..?? omg!! what an idiot!!( mind my words) how could u think that she was cheating on you when actually the voice was our dad's voice..??? what the hell is that.. no offense to anyone who reads this, but i really hate guys who didn't trust his gf and making accustaions just because of some silly things.. i think this all started when her ex-bf came and see her current bf and said that she is not easy to be taken care of..??? eh, hello..?? this one is another stupid guy..??? STUPID!STUPID!STUPID! is it wrong to talk to other guys who is just a friend..?? so, talking to another guy or making friends with guys from other school which they met in tuition classes (and that is far as they go) measn that my sister is hard to e taken care of.. well guess what, boy! u r no one in our life.. and no one gives you or ask you to take care of my sis.. hello, u're just her bf, not her husband..?? please find the definition of taking care first before you said it.. by the way, the reason u and her broke off is because your stupi attitude yourself!! u gon and flirt with other girls and there are a lot of proof in front of our eyes, oh, and even better, flirting with her own cousin, o, which by the way, didn't warned my sister at all about this situation until my sis found out herself.. eh, u're good enough to be my sister's gf for one year plus, and ignoring all this stupid stuff that he did.. ughhhh!!! i think, beause of those words : IT'S HARD TO JAGA HER, makes her current bf starting to questioned my sister.. and isn't it funny.... he was having doubt with her again, just because the line broke-off when he called.. hello!! maybe la the line here in bangsar is like crap nowadays, so because of that, it means that my sister is cheating on you..?? because he though she purposedly hung up the phone.. ughh!! stupid, childish, boy!! right now, i feel like jus confronting that guy and talked about this matter.. i know, i might be just a busy body interfering with other people's relationship problems, but when the issue that was brought up was about a stupid matter which leads to other problems, i really wanna step up and confront him.. oh, like i never did that before with any guys before this.. before this, i feel like i'm slowly starting to like her bf, because for me, i think h'e the best guy for my sis, but now, nope!! ZERO percent of liking him.. like i said earlier, if this kinda situation rise, and it is a matter of trust, which is the key base for any relationship, i will surely walk away from the relationship.. if now, not even one month they get together, trust issues happening, then what will happen in the next days to come..?? so, BOY, U KNOW WHO U R, DON'T MESS WITH MY SISTER.. COS IN A WAY YOU ARE MESSING WITH ME!

maybe yes..maybe no..

2008-10-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

ok, the feeling of depression i had a few days ago are slowly fading away.. not that i'm ok with the situation already, it's just that i think i need to do something about that.. taking my own independent steps without having to wait for anyone to come and console me about the whole situation.. hihihihii.. positive thinking now, huh?? lol.. hurmm.. now, i have something else on mind.. actually, it's on my mind for quite some time now, but since it's a very MAJOR secret of my own feeling, no one really knows or sure about what's palying on my mind about this matter right this moment.. yes, i'm admitting that this couple of months have been so crucial to me, when i think a lot about my personal life.. personal life here means...urmm.. love life, perhaps..?? can i say that..?? oh, what the hell, i've said it.. lol.. ok, continue about it.. yes, i can't deny it anymore that sometimes i'm feeling rather lonely without someone there who i think can support me and hear me without fail.. yes, it's kinda my fault for not having great relationship with any guys lately because of my own attitude.. good guys, opps.. correction, GREAT GUYS appeared in front of me this few years, but how stupid of me either having them in my hands(woahh, harsh words) but feeling that they are not great of a guy, OR ignored guys who were right in front of me, and who are PERFECT, but i jus didn't realise it cos the so-called mindset of staying it as friends OR even falling for the wrong guy.. ughh.. what a life, nowadays.. what makes me sometimes felt alone and so outcast from my friends is that most of them, or should i say, all of them, have someone special in their life.. yes, some people might say, i'm too young for all this stuff, but, hey, i'm 19, (well, turning 19 this november) and i think i ought to experience something wonderful in my life.. just imagine, if most of your friends.. wether your friends from d campus(classmates) or even ex schoolmates or even my hostelmates, all of them have someone that they can talk about.. all i can talk about to my friends, is on what's going on with my life, or anything funny that i jus experienced or i saw lately.. no fun at all.. ok, i must say, i had some fun talking about all those stuff, but, hey, when u're feeling down, or like my case 1% OF CONFIDENCE, someone who can boost up my confidence would be a great help.. haishh..!! ok, stop talking about all those stupid backgrounds of my life.. now, let's talk about the current issue.. i think i'm having a crush on a guy whom i know my whole life..!! yes, my whole life..!! not only me, everyone in my family knows the existence of him, because he is someone very close to the family.. hurmm.. from now on, let's call him A(note that, this is not his real name and his name does not start with that letter).. this is all started way back a few years ago, when their making fun of me and him, and i think he didn't even know about this matter.. lol.. ok..ok.. better said, it all started when his parents said something about me n his son, n i'm not really sure what about, but my sister insisted on saying and keep on saying that there will be something going on between the two of us somewhere in the future.. and there were a few hints before that that shows he's showing somesigns, which i don't wanna take it too serious cos hey, i don't wanna be, AGAIN, the only one liking the guy.. so, i just kept it quiet all this while.. until recently, i can't help it but feeling something weird when he's around.. and he made me eager to go to more functions(what functions, i can't tell, cos if not, everyone will know about it).. and even worse, lately, i heard a lot of CRUSH song from DAVID ARCHULETTA.. the radio kept on spinning that song evrytime i'm in the car.. and everytime i heard that song, it made me think about him the whole time, and somehow it made me feel a bit sad cos i know, there's no way we'll get together.. cos, it's just impossible.. he's too close to me, but yet he's soo far away.. is it a psychology thing cos hearing people saying that we should be together and stuff or is it a real crush..?? i don't know.. and sometimes i think i hate this kind of feelings, cos at the end of the day i'll be the one who will be hurt.. owh, and one more crazy thing that made me think it was a crush this time cos i want him to know that i am single, by showing it in my status.. ok, like this.. sometimes, i feel like i need a new person in my life, and that will bring me to the dreams of changing my status on facebook, myspace or even friendster.. and it is a huge step for me, because all this while, even if i'm in a relationship, i will NEVER change my status to in a relationship or aything like that.. i'll just let it be single, i don't know why.. but now, i can't wait to change the status.. hehehhehe.. but, at the same time, i don't wanna change my status because i wanna be available for him the whole time.. psycho... yes!!! but, it's the truth, and i think every girl who have a crush will somehow will feel the same way.. but, how long should i wait until he make his move..?? until he got a new someone..?? wooahh.. i will be devastated again.. shiisshh, like i'm not used to that kinda situation.. lol.. whatever it is, i need answers... FAST!!

1% confidence

2008-10-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

sadly, nowadays, especially today was my totally breaking point..
i feel like i'm d most ugliest person ever.. only lately i realised i am seriously gaining weight n obviously ppl who didn't see me for quite some time will tell me dat.. jus imagine, how can i have the confidence i used to have if each relative's house i went to last raya will tell me dat i'm gaining weight.. and it's d first thing that they noticed.. when i wanna go n salam with them, that is the thing they said to me.. it was a big pang for me.. it's like evryday i'm hearing the same thing over n over again.. n how would u feel if ur own best friend that u have known for a long time called u GEMUK in ur face when u meet each other after quite some time..?? it really hurts me when i think about it.. i know i'm kinda bad to do this, but because of that, i don't feel like hanging out with her cos i know, she will say something later.. ys, it's good to have a best friend who tells u the truth, but, dealing with sensitive issues for a girl like dis, u need to be very careful with ur words.. that made me realised that although she's my best friend, i don't think i could ever talk to to her about my problem, my life.. it has always been about her, n her latest scandal, n how great her life is in her campus.. i'm not jealous with her life, but, sometimes u just need someone to hear u n jus focus on u.. right now, my life, i dun think i can talk to anybody.. i can only talk to myself or..hurmm..right it in here.. n evrything that i'm feeling is not 100% coming out from my heart.. u might say i have other friends n other family members that i can talk to.. u know what, now i realised that most of my friends they were only meant to feel the emptiness in my heart.. meaning they were always there when i need someone to have conversation with.. it's not always about me n my problems.. it's always about them n their life.. not that i'm bored or tired of hearing their stories, believe me, i love when they talk to me about their problems cos it's like they trust me with their problems, but sometimes, i jus need my own space and moment to talk.. hurmm. enough about frens.. let's come back to the problem of confidence.. where is the girl who didn't care what other ppl say about her..?? where is the girl who are soo confidence and thinks she have the perfect body..?? where is the girl who thinks she's soo precious like any other girls.. u know what,i've never felt like this, but this couple of days, the only thing that was playing in my head when i'm alone was how should i lose weight..?? n there is time when i think that i shud try n be a bulimic or anorexic just to make evryone jus shut up.. i am totally at my lowest point tonight when all i think was i'm the fattest in my family.. n i don't know why, i feel like people are always giving me the stare like "how could she gain so much weight? where is the girl who was thin last time?" n that is also the reason why i prefer staying at home, rather than going out.. i'm slowly sinking but nobody wants to help me float back again.. they're just trying to let me drift away from them.. ughhh!!! i hate this feeling!!!! no one around me understands what i'm going through and what's playing in my mind.. i really don't have anyone to talk to now..

2008-10-18T02:28:00.000-07:00

This is currenlty my favourite song n my most favourite..
song called HARU HARU or english DAY BY DAY, by a korean boyband BIG BANG..
i found out about this song when i saw the video clip on MTV..
bt when i watched the videon on MTV, i don't know the meaning of the song, so i search for it online.. hihihi.. the english subtitle is provided and if u wanna sing along the song, i provide the lyris here.. enjoy..!! =)

YEAH
FINALLY I REALIZED
THAT I’M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU
I WAS SO WRONG
FORGIVE ME

Ah Ah Ah Ah -

Padocheoreom buswojin nae mam
Baramcheoreom heundeullineun nae mam
Yeongicheoreom sarajin nae sarang
Munsincheoreom jiwojijiga anha
Hansumman ttangi kkeojira swijyo
Nae gaseumsogen meonjiman ssahijyo SAY GOODBYE

YEAH
Nega eobsin dan harudo mot salgeotman gatatdeon na
Saenggakgwaneun dareugedo geureokjeoreok honja jal sara
Bogosipdago bulleobwado neon amu daedabeobtjanha
Heotdoen gidae georeobwado ijen soyongeobtjanha

Ne yeope inneun geu sarami mwonji hoksi neol ullijin annneunji
Geudae naega boigin haneunji beolsseo ssak da ijeonneunji
Geokjeongdwae dagagagijocha mareul geol su jocha eobseo aetaeugo
Na hollo gin bameul jisaeujyo subaekbeon jiwonaejyo

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

OH GIRL I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL (SAY GOODBYE)

Gireul geotda neowa na uri majuchindahaedo
Mot boncheok hagoseo geudaero gadeongil gajwo

Jakkuman yet saenggagi tteooreumyeon amado
Nado mollae geudael chajagaljido molla

Neon neul geu saramgwa haengbokhage neon neul naega dareun mam an meokge
Neon neul jageun miryeondo an namgekkeum jal jinaejwo na borandeusi

Neon neul jeo haneulgachi hayake tteun gureumgwado gachi saeparake
Neon neul geureoke useojwo amu il eopdeusi

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

Nareul tteonaseo mam pyeonhaejigil (nareul itgoseo saragajwo)
Geu nunmureun da mareulteni YEAH (haruharu jinamyeon)

Charari mannaji anhatdeoramyeon deol apeultende UM
Yeongwonhi hamkkehajadeon geu yaksok ijen
Chueoge mudeodugil barae baby neol wihae gidohae

Dorabojimalgo tteonagara
Tto nareul chatjimalgo saragara
Neoreul saranghaetgie huhoeeopgie
Johatdeon gieongman gajyeogara
Geureokjeoreok chamabolmanhae
Geureokjeoreok gyeondyeonaelmanhae
Neon geureolsurok haengbokhaeyadwae
Haru haru
Mudyeojyeogane

OH GIRL
I CRY CRY
YO MY ALL
SAY GOODBYE BYE
OH MY LOVE
DON’T LIE LIE
YO MY HEART
SAY GOODBYE

taken from :http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/10121/big-bang/haru-haru.html

worst day ever!!

2008-10-17T03:45:00.000-07:00

OMG!! today is officially my worst day ever.. no doubt..
the first half of the day was ok.. bt then.. d other half.. omg..
afta my malaysian studies paper, i was planning to go bck home cos i'm sick n i'm soo tired n i feel like i can't breathe with all this ppl around..
so, i drove alone.. my gas was at d minimum point, bt i jus kept on going cos i know my car, n i know it can still hold on.but, with my freaking stupid n blur thinking, it didn't occur to me at all that there might be traffic jam near bangsar..
then my car started to be shaky a bit, n i was praying hard, n i think i never pray that hard in my entire life..
jus imagine, u were all alone in d car, n u're not feeling well, n it's raining, n u know, if ur car broke down, it surely cos worse traffic jam.. n i almost met with an accident.. oopss.. correction, twice.. i almost hit motorcycles.. obviously bcos of my 'blurness' n clumsiness.. n one of the motorcyclist even called me stupid.. i heard him cos i opened the window.. hurmm.. how exciting can that be..
it's all because i wanted to get in the right lane to go to the petrol station there, bt i couldn't cos the cars won't let me.. that is when, i almost hit the motorcycles.. surely, the car behind me will think i'm such a beginner at driving.. haishh.. bt what to do, i'm soo blur, n i'm sooo sick..!! ughhh..
bt luckily, i think the GOD loves me dearly, right in front of the petrol station, i manage to slide in between cars n then, i went n filled up my gas.. OMG.. really, GOD helps me soo much.. cos right in front of the petrol station, no cars are blocking me from getting through it.. n d rest of the journey went smoothly..
thak god..
i really though the worst was gonna happened.. i didn't tell mama or baba about this, cos i don't want them to worry about me the next time im driving..
sheeshh, i almost had a trauma for a sec, n i felt like i dun wanna drive the car anymore.. this really made me think, if i didn't even had any accident, i was in shocked, how about the people who had an accident, or people who hit someone or experienced something major.. haishh.. whatever it is, i'm soo glad i arrived home safely.. huhuhu.. n now i feel a lot better about it..
huhuu..

BRAMBUS!

2008-10-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

korg mesti pelik kenapalah saye gune bahasa melayu dlm blog saye ni.. x pernah2 sepanjang hidup saye, saye tulis blog dlm b.m. hurmm.. sebenarnye sye tulis dlm bm ni pun sbb sye nk melarikan diri dari.. dgn bahase ni je sye dpt melarikan diri dari sorg mamat yang setahu saye mmg x tau b.m. n mintak2 la, klo die bkk blog nie, die x pegi tanye kwn2 die yg tau b.m. utk translatekan bende ni utk die.. huhuhu.. sbb tulah jugak byk shortform yg digunekn, sbb minx die lg la x phm.. kui3.. hurmm.. sebenarnye, nk citer psl sorg mamat yg btul2 dh merimaskan sye.. hishh.. tiap2 hari asal sye mendaftar masuk buku muke(korg translate la sendiri dlm b.i. ape yg sye tulis tu) mesti dgn pntasnye die akn berbual dgn saya.. sekali dua kali xpe la.. ni x tiap2 kali buke je, mesti die trus dtg.. klo ym, apetah lagi.. lagila, bru online, x sempat nk tuka status, die dtg buzz.. mcm mane tu.. haishh.. saye ni pulak, mmg dh dikenali sbg org yg plg mls nk lyn org yg slalu sgt sms or ape2 je la utk berbual dgn die.. bosan!! n dah agk dh niat di sebaliknye.. klo org tu mmg berjaye bukkkan hati xpe jugak, ni klo mmg dh set dlm kepala hotak dr awl knl lgi, yg mmg mamat tu ptt jadi kwn je, tu yg dtg mls dan bosan tu.. jgn kate org yg bru nk kenal, seorang lelaki bernama bf pun belum tentu bole hilangkan rasa bosan ni, klo setiap hari sms, sms, sms! haishh.. naik bosan!!! saye tabik spring gile la sape yg bole kekal lama ngan bf diorg wpun cukup dgn anta sms or ckp tepon je setiap hari.. huhuhu.. bkn nk kate sye ni bgs sgt pown, mmg sye sorg gadis yg biase n xde lawa mane pun, tp, perasaan dlmn sendiri, mcm mane nk tolak, babe!! huhuhu.. hurmm.. berbalik ngan citer sye td, hurmm.. pening kepala x tau nk buat ape ngan mamat nie.. mmg la die x ckp ape2 yg membawa ke arah lain tu, tp, dr gerak bicara die, mmg dh agk pelik dh.. utk org yg expert menolak lelaki ni (sbb tu la xde bf smpi skarang =)), mmg dh tau dh, mesti lain mcm je nie.. huhuhu.. die penah sat hari tu ajk kuar mkn, opss.. bukan ajak, memberi arahan.. die suro sye jumpe die lps habis pepriksaan ari2.. lps tu, trus die x reply, pdhal blum confirm pun lagi, jadi ke x.. tu yg tensen tu.. huhu.. so, smpi skarang ni, sye x lyn die, n mmg die prasan bende tu.. dlm status die, die ade kte die nk blik negara die ari ahd ni.. mcm la sye akn lyn dh kan status die tu.. hishhh.. sbelom ni, status die tu la yg membuatkn sye terjerat mcm skarang ni.. hurm.. sye jus hope, die blik negara die tanpe peru carik sye.. sorila, tp, walau terdesak mcm mane pun sye nk ade bf, sye xkn pilih anda.. huhhuu.. perbezaan trlalu byk.. x bole..x bole.. td dlm 'buku muke', die bru anta komen, die bg tande soal byk sgt.. mungkin sbb sye x lyn die dlm chatting kot.. sbb tu la.. tp, nk buat mcm mane.. org twrkan persahabatan tetibe lain mcm plak, aihh, x btul nie.. klo kwn, stay kwn sudh la.. bkn nk ckp ape, tp dr pemerhatian sye n kwn sye, mmg diorg ni, terlalu terdesak nk ade gf.. ntah la kenapa, tp mmg dh slalu nmpk camtu.. rapat sket je ngan pompuan, trus late suke.. pastu klo pompuan tu reject, mlm tu jugak die carik pompuan laen.. ni bkn rekaan tp btul.. mmg terjadi kt kwn sye.. haishh.. hurmm.. ape2 pun, minx2 la die x kacau sye dh.. mengganggu ketenteraman nk blaja je.. dh la x tau nk cite permasalahan ni kat sape.. sume mcm ade mslh msng2 je.. mmg la org akn igt mslh ni remeh je, tp, klo bende ni berlarutan, bkn ke lagi membebankn kepale otak ni.. uhuhu.. so, dlm ni je la bole nk cite pown.. huhuhu.. klo korng rase ade suggestion, bgtau la ek.. dh tensen gile ni.. huhuu

SEPI..?? THE BEST!!

2008-10-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

OMG! i just watched a malay movie called SEPI.. yes, i know the movie are no longer playing in the cinema, and now only i'm watching that movie.. but, it's never too late, right..??
SEPI is about three different stories about different situation, where people are feeling lonely in their life, mainly because of the lack of love in their lives..
the first story brought us to the story of adam, who had always been trying to find the girl that belongs to him. until he met that girl, problems occur as the girl are engaged and soon to be married..
and then, we have a story about a guy named sufi.. an accident had cause his wife to die in front of his eyes, and he felt the loneliness as he take everything for granted, eventhough he loves his wife dearly. because of his devastativeness, he tries to run from the problem, and met a woman who was there when he needed someone for support.. unfortunately, the woman are married to another man, and eventhough he could not leave her wife, her heart belongs to sufi..
the last story is about a girl named imaan and how she had to work with a guy who thinks he's good in everything.. imaan have a very boyfriend, but as time goes by, without she realizing it, she had fallen for that guy..
the endings..???? i can't tell, cos if u didn't watch that movie yet, u won't feel what i felt..
i never cried this bad my whole life watching a movie.. yes, of course there are several dramas or movies that can make me cry watching it, but not as bad as this movie..
maybe, the feeling of loneliness, as what the director are trying to potray in this film hits me straight to the heart..
it makes me start to wonder.. wether i will always stay lonely forever, or saved by someone from this loneliness somewhere in the future, or found the one for me in the future..
i know, it's such a silly thing to be thinking about, but, perhaps this feelings are too strong.. not that i can't survive living alone, but the question is, will i find that special one in the future..??? now, that's the question that bothers me soo much lately.. hurmm..
but, seriously, talk about this movie, people who felt the feeling of loneliness in their life, will want to see this movie.... it's one of the greatest movie ever created in Malaysia.. heheheh... hope that soon i can find the answer for the quesion that keeps bothering me now..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

2008-09-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hey, everyone..!!
if there is people who read my blog.. huhuhu..
jus wanna wish u a happy hari raya this year..
may you guys will receive a lot of duit raya, so that u can treat me for a wonderful dinner.. lol
as usual, i'll be celebrating it at my grandmother's place in terengganu..
except for last year, we celebrate it in kl, and i don't feel the excitement at all..
so, i prefer going back to my kampung n celebrate it there..
and i'm going back tomorrow..!!! weeee... very excited about it.. heheh..
and as usual too, i'll be celebrating ALONE..
let me highlight it here, the "alone" part does not mean i'm not going to celebrate it with my family..
wooahh, celebrating with my family is a big MUST.. heheh..
the definition of "alone" here means, being single.. as usual..
i don't know.. somehow it happened to me every year..
normally, my relationship with any guys will end before raya, OR starts after raya..
so, i never feel the excitement of wishing your partner a great big raya.. hehehe..
ok, i sounded so desperate here.. which i think i'm still not in that zone yet.. hehehe..
but you know what, as long as i have my family around me, i on't need any guys to be there for me..
besides, it's not like that guy would be roight in front of me during hari raya.. duhhh!! hehehe..
this raya thing brought me to think of a good friend of mine who just left for u.k. on 11th september..
this is the first time he would be out of the country alone, and what's more devastating is that, his first class in the university there is on the first day of raya itself.. what luck does he have..?? heheh..
bt i bet he'll make it through there, cos i think he was born to stay there..!! with his skill of mimicking the british accent and all, i doubt if he have any problem surviving the big world..
plus, u.k., specifically london, is a very great place to stay..
my family and i went there for just one week, and we felt like going there again, cos we missed a lot of the beautiful places there.. huhuhu..
hurmm.. maybe next time.. or, even better luck, next year!! lol
well, before i leave, i wish u guys a very HAPPY HARI RAYA... and for those of you who would be travelling to your hometown, i wish you guys a save journey home, and have a wonderful time spending this festive season with them..
and again, SELAMAT HARI RAYA..!!! =)

surprise!surprise!

2008-09-25T05:59:00.000-07:00

hahahaahah.. something gr8 jus happened a few moments ago..
last sunday was reena's birthday.. n for her birthday, all of us, the malacca family, namely rema, nits, martin, ivan, hiran n i planned to give something special for her birthday..
we planned to give her a PHONE..!! hahaha..
now, that's a big shocker, n i think that's the biggest present i've ever given to a friend..
hehee..
we chipped in money together n buy the phone.
specifically, i went to buy the phone, bt one small mistake i made was i bought the phone that nits used to use it last time. hahahah.. bt what to do, small budget, and that's the best i can get..
what phone we get for her, is a secret.. hehehe..
it's soo hard to give her the phone..
first because, on her birthday, i didn't buy the phone yet, cos not enough money, and stuff..
so, i bought it on monday, n was planning to give it to her on tuesday, after my class.. but, she went to malacca on that day, so i have to wait until she get back here, which was today.. heheh..
it's hard to keep it down from her, cos she's not here, so i was like texting her evry singe day, asking when is she coming bck.. i have to ask her, cos if not, how am i suppose to give it to her..
heheheh..
n jus now, i went to her house n gave it to her..
n she can't believe it!! good.good.. that's how we hope she will react..
haisshh.. it jus shows how much we love her, n how much we appreciate her as a true friend..
it's hard to find a friend who are always there for you, n she will sensed it when something is not right.. heheheh..
thanx a lot reena..
the value of the phone is nothing compared to the friendship n love she had showered us for as long as we know each other.. ngeeee..!! so, happy birthday!!!

xoxo,
~beauteeful shyunkk~

first timer..?? never!!

2008-09-25T05:37:00.000-07:00

hurmm.. people might think this is my first time blogging..
bt, nope, it's not my first..
i use to actively blogged last time, but, due to the laziness, and boredom of posting the old stories (which i think my viewers will feel the same way too..), so, i stopped blogging for awhile..
now, i'm BACK!! with a whole lot of other stories to tell, i hope it's a better SCENE than before..
heheheh..
can't wait to start again.. weeee...!!! =)